OMG I finally get it about entitled parents and monster kids

[Anonymous]

Certain types of type a nerdy jerks are strongly drawn to n Arlington, so this makes sense.

[Anonymous]

Isn’t the GT selection test all about spatial recognition? Has nothing to do with empathy.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:And of course, all of you have kind, empathic kids. Especially since you are sweet and judgement free.

I think OP is referring to the fact that some parents seem to justify poor behavior from their kids while others call their kids out and try to teach them the importance of good behavior.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:And of course, all of you have kind, empathic kids. Especially since you are sweet and judgement free.

+1 Anyone who is as judgmental as OP is "sweet" on the outside only.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:And of course, all of you have kind, empathic kids. Especially since you are sweet and judgement free.

I think OP is referring to the fact that some parents seem to justify poor behavior from their kids while others call their kids out and try to teach them the importance of good behavior.

I don't see parents justifying bad behavior so much as being completely oblivious to it.

-N.Arlington Dweller

[Anonymous]

I don't see parents justifying bad behavior so much as being completely oblivious to it.

-N.Arlington Dweller

Good point. And, when their child is bullied, they refuse to acknowledge that their child might also be a bully.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Why is everyone being so coy about living in an "affluent" suburb and not just mentioning where they live? You're posting in VA Public schools, that really only leaves you with North Arlington and McLean. Might as well write it out.

Or Falls Church City - higher median income.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Why is everyone being so coy about living in an "affluent" suburb and not just mentioning where they live? You're posting in VA Public schools, that really only leaves you with North Arlington and McLean. Might as well write it out.

Or Falls Church City - higher median income.

List of wealthiest counties is here. FCC beats Arlington, and Mclean is lumped into Fairfax County:

Here are the top 20, according to Census estimates:

Loudoun County, Virginia $125,900
Falls Church City, Virginia $122,092
Fairfax County, Virginia $112,844
Howard County, Maryland $110,224
Douglas County, Colorado $109, 926
Los Alamos County, New Mexico $107,126
Williamson County, Tennessee $104,367
Arlington County, Virginia $104,354
Hunterdon County, New Jersey $102,797
Santa Clara County, California $102,191
Nassau County, New York $101,568
Morris County, New Jersey $101,754
San Mateo County, California $101,133
Marin County, California $99,868
Fairfax City, Virginia $99,671
Prince William County, Virginia $99,206
Somerset County, New Jersey $99,059
Calvert County, Maryland $98,937
Montgomery County, Maryland $98,314
Forsyth County, Georgia $97,886

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I spoke with a mom up in arms over her snowflake being in a class with some kids with ADHD and ASD. I understand that a teacher needs to have good classroom management to make it work, but OMG calm down. They don't have kooties and your kid might actually learn some empathy.

If she wants her kid to be in the higher level classes, she better get usd to it.

Ha! Exactly.

[Anonymous]

OP— everyone has anticdotes. Some of the nicest, kindest most accepting, most supportive kids I know are my DC1’s friends at TJ. DC2 is applying this year, and I don’t see much difference between her friends who are applying and those that are not. Almost all of them are good, kind kids who were raised well. But my kids have great friends.

I do know that TJ has low incidences of bullying and cyber bullying (and substance abuse). And that I have heard of some terrible instances of bullying in the base high schools from parents of the kids being bullied. A freshman girl who started receiving dick pics from a group of boys due to an organized effort to harass her. It got so bad she started refusing to go to school. Her parents have had to involve the police. Another girls who is fit and active but large boned. A group of girls has been standing behind her in the cafeteria every day, and writing down every mouthful of food she eats, telling he how many calories it has, and distributing her food log too the school hallways Both girls are incredibly nice, kind people and are not “asking for” this treatment. But base school kids are dishing it out. And I would never say that isolated problems hear about mean all the kids in these schools are bullies.

Maybe you should realize that the handful of parents you know who cannot be bothered to raise kids properly are not indicative of all, or even most, TJ kids. And that some (but not most or all) base school kids can little sh*ts who treat other people terribly. Certainly you know better than to generalize to an entire group of thousands of kids based on a handful you know?

And PP is right. The fact you are willing to slam all AAP or TJ kids, or all kids in families that prioritize academics makes me wonder exactly what you are teaching your kids about acceptance and tolerance and not being judgmental. Character does indeed count. But in my mind, people of character don’t judge an entire group based on the actions of a few families. Is that the character you teach your kid?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP— everyone has anticdotes. Some of the nicest, kindest most accepting, most supportive kids I know are my DC1’s friends at TJ. DC2 is applying this year, and I don’t see much difference between her friends who are applying and those that are not. Almost all of them are good, kind kids who were raised well. But my kids have great friends.

I do know that TJ has low incidences of bullying and cyber bullying (and substance abuse). And that I have heard of some terrible instances of bullying in the base high schools from parents of the kids being bullied. A freshman girl who started receiving dick pics from a group of boys due to an organized effort to harass her. It got so bad she started refusing to go to school. Her parents have had to involve the police. Another girls who is fit and active but large boned. A group of girls has been standing behind her in the cafeteria every day, and writing down every mouthful of food she eats, telling he how many calories it has, and distributing her food log too the school hallways Both girls are incredibly nice, kind people and are not “asking for” this treatment. But base school kids are dishing it out. And I would never say that isolated problems hear about mean all the kids in these schools are bullies.

Maybe you should realize that the handful of parents you know who cannot be bothered to raise kids properly are not indicative of all, or even most, TJ kids. And that some (but not most or all) base school kids can little sh*ts who treat other people terribly. Certainly you know better than to generalize to an entire group of thousands of kids based on a handful you know?

And PP is right. The fact you are willing to slam all AAP or TJ kids, or all kids in families that prioritize academics makes me wonder exactly what you are teaching your kids about acceptance and tolerance and not being judgmental. Character does indeed count. But in my mind, people of character don’t judge an entire group based on the actions of a few families. Is that the character you teach your kid?

For both of your examples, what do the parents know? I think that's the big issue. A lot of times bad behavior happens because people don't feel like it's their place to tell parents what their kids are doing is wrong. I've seen that happen many, many times.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP— everyone has anticdotes. Some of the nicest, kindest most accepting, most supportive kids I know are my DC1’s friends at TJ. DC2 is applying this year, and I don’t see much difference between her friends who are applying and those that are not. Almost all of them are good, kind kids who were raised well. But my kids have great friends.

I do know that TJ has low incidences of bullying and cyber bullying (and substance abuse). And that I have heard of some terrible instances of bullying in the base high schools from parents of the kids being bullied. A freshman girl who started receiving dick pics from a group of boys due to an organized effort to harass her. It got so bad she started refusing to go to school. Her parents have had to involve the police. Another girls who is fit and active but large boned. A group of girls has been standing behind her in the cafeteria every day, and writing down every mouthful of food she eats, telling he how many calories it has, and distributing her food log too the school hallways Both girls are incredibly nice, kind people and are not “asking for” this treatment. But base school kids are dishing it out. And I would never say that isolated problems hear about mean all the kids in these schools are bullies.

Maybe you should realize that the handful of parents you know who cannot be bothered to raise kids properly are not indicative of all, or even most, TJ kids. And that some (but not most or all) base school kids can little sh*ts who treat other people terribly. Certainly you know better than to generalize to an entire group of thousands of kids based on a handful you know?

And PP is right. The fact you are willing to slam all AAP or TJ kids, or all kids in families that prioritize academics makes me wonder exactly what you are teaching your kids about acceptance and tolerance and not being judgmental. Character does indeed count. But in my mind, people of character don’t judge an entire group based on the actions of a few families. Is that the character you teach your kid?

Nobody slammed TJ kids on this thread that I saw. This is about a select group of parents valuing academic performance and devaluing character. Of course there are plenty parents who want TJ and care about raising good people, but this is not what this thread is about. Also, based on my experience, it's usually parents who's kids aren't good candidates for these special programs who would do anything to get their kid in and who value that above anything else. There are plenty of parents with bright kids who qualify based on their own skills and the kids are already kind or the parents are making sure the kid is well rounded and cares about others. There is this subset out there that just don't seem to care about character and yes they exist regardless of IQ, SES or anything else. However, I have definitely encountered the stereotypical parent who would probably even write a check if it meant getting AAP or TJ and they care more about their kid being the best even it means cut throat and character just isn't on the radar or list of values.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Why is everyone being so coy about living in an "affluent" suburb and not just mentioning where they live? You're posting in VA Public schools, that really only leaves you with North Arlington and McLean. Might as well write it out.

Or Falls Church City - higher median income.

List of wealthiest counties is here. FCC beats Arlington, and Mclean is lumped into Fairfax County:

Here are the top 20, according to Census estimates:

Loudoun County, Virginia $125,900
Falls Church City, Virginia $122,092
Fairfax County, Virginia $112,844
Howard County, Maryland $110,224
Douglas County, Colorado $109, 926
Los Alamos County, New Mexico $107,126
Williamson County, Tennessee $104,367
Arlington County, Virginia $104,354
Hunterdon County, New Jersey $102,797
Santa Clara County, California $102,191
Nassau County, New York $101,568
Morris County, New Jersey $101,754
San Mateo County, California $101,133
Marin County, California $99,868
Fairfax City, Virginia $99,671
Prince William County, Virginia $99,206
Somerset County, New Jersey $99,059
Calvert County, Maryland $98,937
Montgomery County, Maryland $98,314
Forsyth County, Georgia $97,886

That's ranked by household income. When ranked per capita, the order changes. Lot of singles in Arlington keeping the average HHI down.

[Anonymous]

I have heard of some terrible instances ...

When kids aren't with the "advanced group".
This is the kind of fear-mongering that just perpetuates the crazy, "I don't want my kids with THEM attitude"
OMG!! They have got to be in AAP, or TJ ... or whatever of the sky is falling

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:And of course, all of you have kind, empathic kids. Especially since you are sweet and judgement free.

I think OP is referring to the fact that some parents seem to justify poor behavior from their kids while others call their kids out and try to teach them the importance of good behavior.

Of course!

All kids make mistakes, all kids are learning, all kids can be self-centered. My kids are by no means perfect. But at least I work on it all the time. I would never just ignore/pretend I don't see their rude behavior as I see so many parents doing!!