Trailing spouse - how do I not go crazy?

[Anonymous]

Dear Trailing spouse, I would suggest you get plugged in somehow and get some friends near you. Are there any meet ups there or in a town nearby? Is there a church that matched your faith? Get to know your neighbors, you might find you are more alike than you realize! =) Take online courses and classes. Hope this helps! =)

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here. I recognize that DH and I may be spending the rest of our working lives here - that this is the most likely scenario. I've made some friends and am involved in the community, through my own work as well as personally. It's just been a difficult transition for a confirmed city girl (DC native, NYC undergrad, Austin grad school/start of career) to get used to small town life.

DC is pretty depressing at the moment. Helicopters and motorcade sounds are constant reminders of whom they're carrying around... I'd trade with you for the next four (possibly eight... ) years in a flash. Are you near an airport? Can you travel regularly to your favorite placces? That's the prescribed medicine for hardship posts... get out as often as you can.

[Anonymous]

I"m an academic and I kind of hate where I live as well. Things that have helped me are being able to get some land and to enjoy the sorts of hobbies that you can have if you have a lot of land (i.e. gardening, raising chickens, etc.)

Getting really good at a craft -- like painting, knitting, etc. Splurge on good materials, order stuff online or visit big cities to buy supplies. Make yourself a beautiful craft room.

Lots of subscriptions to big city newspapers, lots of book buying, etc.

I will probably never have a whole gang of great friends here but I have very fulfilling hobbies which keep me busy!

[Anonymous]

Years ago my DH was transferred from Dallas to no-where's-ville. I went crazy as we were empty nesters. I've always been an artist so I opened up an art supply shop in town that enabled me to meet other artists, stay very busy and become part of the business community. The store barely broke even but I learned a lot, had fun and made friends. The day my DH retired I sold the shop and we moved!

[Anonymous]

Well, city chick time to learn some new skills. Go horseback riding! Get a doggo and go hiking. Learn to trap shoot. Get a four wheeler. Country stuff is so fun!

My mom was the trailing spouse and hated my small, Southern hometown for a long time. Now they are retired, have a million friends and have zero plans to ever leave.
-faculty brat

[Anonymous]

Are you in Morgantown? If so you’re lucky. Great community in spite of West Virginia’s pitfalls and an hour from Pittsburgh which is a nice if smaller and more blue-collar city than DC/NYC/etc. Maybe make the most of time away while also taking steps to become invested in the community?