things you wish you knew as DC started HS...

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Honestly, now that I have a high school senior who is going through the application process and applying to mid-level public schools - Pitt, University of Minnesota, Ohio State, etc. - I am really surprised at how little extracurriculars seem to matter.

I assume it is different for smaller schools and for the most highly competitive schools, but it really seems like it is all about GPA and SAT/ACT scores.

Bingo! No one gives a crap about Model UN or Key Club. Everyone knows these are BS activities used by strivers for window dressing.

[Anonymous]

Your kid just needs one sustained interest that can be discussed.

[Anonymous]

Plan for the kid you have, not the one you wish you had or the one you want your child to be. There are many activities and things I wish my kids would do but then I realize I'm pushing them because it's what I want, not what they want. When I let them do what they want, their interest and their passions are evident. Choosing a college where they will be happy was much more important than what the name on the paper at the end is going to say. My oldest is now at a smaller, barely known outside it's region, school and she's deliriously happy. She's doing a research project with a faculty member and has been invited on two travel trips. She's playing to club level in sports she had previously dropped in high school but has rediscovered the joy in playing. Her little school has an amazing alumni network and career placement so I don't worry that she will have a hard time after graduation. All I want is for her (and my youngest) is to make a happy life, not just make a living.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Plan for the kid you have, not the one you wish you had or the one you want your child to be. There are many activities and things I wish my kids would do but then I realize I'm pushing them because it's what I want, not what they want. When I let them do what they want, their interest and their passions are evident. Choosing a college where they will be happy was much more important than what the name on the paper at the end is going to say. My oldest is now at a smaller, barely known outside it's region, school and she's deliriously happy. She's doing a research project with a faculty member and has been invited on two travel trips. She's playing to club level in sports she had previously dropped in high school but has rediscovered the joy in playing. Her little school has an amazing alumni network and career placement so I don't worry that she will have a hard time after graduation. All I want is for her (and my youngest) is to make a happy life, not just make a living.

Thank you. This is great advice.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I wish we had known to be more strategic about advise.

Do you mean about what advice you gave to your child, or something else?

[Anonymous]

I think it depends on what schools you apply to. Private schools are different from State schools. Of course he could start at a Community College and then transfer in with no problem. I think it is more important to be a well rounded individual. Volunteering for community service or other organizations looks good. You have plenty of time to gather information and your DS will be a different person in his Junior and Senior years.

[Anonymous]

My son would recommend that the kid start slipping his mom stresstabs before she completely loses it.

[Anonymous]

Talking about my oldest DC. By DC2 and DC3, we had figured it out. I wish I had been better about keeping things light and keeping the pressure to a minimum. They went to a pressure cooker HS where there was a lot of competition, including the college process. I wish I realized with my oldest that home should be the port in the storm -the place that lets them get away from all the pressure.

[Anonymous]

For over 90% of kids, (travel) sports are a colossal time and money sink. If you want your kid in shape, just have them run x-country.

[Anonymous]

If you're a white gentile you can do everything right and your kid will still have basically no shot at the elites. Just be happy with UVA.

[Anonymous]

There is no formula (other than at large publics where it is pretty much formulaic because of the volume of applications), and gaming the system might work, but generally at a high cost to the kid's high school experience. Know that most kids love college and that is true even when the college they go to was low on their list. Don't manufacture a kid for the college process, it will not be worth it in the end and it probably will not work.

[Anonymous]

Question for those who mentioned getting a job or volunteering in the summers --

Let's say your child isn't motivated to do said job/volunteering. Teen would prefer to stay home and play video games. How do you get your teen on board with the goal of having activities/job/volunteering?

Some say "let them follow their passion" -- but what if their only "passion" is staying home and communicating by typing with people on a group server?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Question for those who mentioned getting a job or volunteering in the summers --

Let's say your child isn't motivated to do said job/volunteering. Teen would prefer to stay home and play video games. How do you get your teen on board with the goal of having activities/job/volunteering?

Some say "let them follow their passion" -- but what if their only "passion" is staying home and communicating by typing with people on a group server?

Require them to find a problem they are passionate about and to do some regarding that problem. If they are not passionate about any problems, then they need to get a job.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Question for those who mentioned getting a job or volunteering in the summers --

Let's say your child isn't motivated to do said job/volunteering. Teen would prefer to stay home and play video games. How do you get your teen on board with the goal of having activities/job/volunteering?

Some say "let them follow their passion" -- but what if their only "passion" is staying home and communicating by typing with people on a group server?

Require them to find a problem they are passionate about and to do some regarding that problem. If they are not passionate about any problems, then they need to get a job.

Well, make the kid be passionate about keeping the wireless going at home by putting in overtime at his crappy fast food job.

More seriously, not all kids are passionate. We sent our kid away as a Counselors Assistant. He had a great time and had the right amount of responsibility for where his head was at. It wasn't cheap, but it was a great post-Freshman summer.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It isn't the number of extra curricular activities but the depth of them, don't be in 10 clubs be in one and be the leader of it.

it isn't the grades but the rigor

go to the school that fits your desired career even if nobody has heard of it.

That first one is tough. My oldest genuinely loves 4 totally different ECs, and has been at them for a long time. I can't see making him give something up just because he's not the leader or the very best at it. I'd rather he continue to pursue his joys. Totally on board with the other two points.