"I do a lot more than most guys I know!"

[Anonymous]

Therapy. After 5 years of default parenting I have lost all respect and affection for my DH. Don't let it go that long!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:He’s probably right. I’m one of those who does all the outdoor tasks, car/computer/appliance maintenance. I also cook, often times clean the kitchen and I still get nagged. I know I do more than my friends do.

Problem is entitled women.

entitled to what, exactly? there's one gender here sounding entitled to other people's free labor ...

[Anonymous]

My thought is that you're not acting like you're on the same team. That was a defensive response to him feeling attacked and not necessarily him expressing his views that he thinks it's all women's work.

When you're not mad, sit down and see if you can start a system where you rotate resposibilities for tasks like doctors appointments. Two accomplished working parents can figure this out. Right now it's a power struggle.

If he refuses to take turns, that's a different discussion.

[Anonymous]

Do you have grandparents close by? Why did either of you need to mid work. Have a grand parents take their grand child to the doctor. Problem solved.

Any questions you write them down for the doctor to answer for you in writing. Or the grandparents calls you from the visit and puts you on speaker

See. No one missed work. Kid went to doctor. Problem solved.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My thought is that you're not acting like you're on the same team. That was a defensive response to him feeling attacked and not necessarily him expressing his views that he thinks it's all women's work.

When you're not mad, sit down and see if you can start a system where you rotate resposibilities for tasks like doctors appointments. Two accomplished working parents can figure this out. Right now it's a power struggle.

If he refuses to take turns, that's a different discussion.

+1

[Anonymous]

Yes, therapy. However, what industry does OP's DH work in where most of the men have SAH wives? My DH works in an office with mostly SAH wives and when I also worked full-time we had to have a lot of child care -- for instance, when the kids went to school we still hired an au pair so that neither of us would need to miss much work. If outsourcing everything isn't what you want, you both might need more flexible jobs.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:He’s probably right. I’m one of those who does all the outdoor tasks, car/computer/appliance maintenance. I also cook, often times clean the kitchen and I still get nagged. I know I do more than my friends do.

Problem is entitled women.

entitled to what, exactly? there's one gender here sounding entitled to other people's free labor ...

Yeah, she’s entitled to his money and time..or so she thinks.

[Anonymous]

I am annoyed that some women DO let their husbands get away with so much less. It's a great example for their kids.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Do you have grandparents close by? Why did either of you need to mid work. Have a grand parents take their grand child to the doctor. Problem solved.

Any questions you write them down for the doctor to answer for you in writing. Or the grandparents calls you from the visit and puts you on speaker

See. No one missed work. Kid went to doctor. Problem solved.

I don't have any friends who have grandparents that live near them in the DC area. I think this might be more typical of other areas of the country, but not here.

Dh does all the doctor appointments since his boss is more flexible and I had to blow through all my annual and sick leave for giving birth. I still have no leave from maternity leave.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:He’s probably right. I’m one of those who does all the outdoor tasks, car/computer/appliance maintenance. I also cook, often times clean the kitchen and I still get nagged. I know I do more than my friends do.

Problem is entitled women.

entitled to what, exactly? there's one gender here sounding entitled to other people's free labor ...

Yeah, she’s entitled to his money and time..or so she thinks.

Did you miss the part where she makes the same amount of money as he does? And yet he still expects her to do all the household work?
Sounds like she'd be better off in a divorce.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:He’s probably right. I’m one of those who does all the outdoor tasks, car/computer/appliance maintenance. I also cook, often times clean the kitchen and I still get nagged. I know I do more than my friends do.

Problem is entitled women.

entitled to what, exactly? there's one gender here sounding entitled to other people's free labor ...

Yeah, she’s entitled to his money and time..or so she thinks.

she earns as much as he does, dumbass, and he's the one stealing her time.

[Anonymous]

When will the women of DCUM figure out that this is just how it is? It may not be fair but come on. We literally have the same thread three times a week. This is the world. Get used to it or don’t have kids.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:When will the women of DCUM figure out that this is just how it is? It may not be fair but come on. We literally have the same thread three times a week. This is the world. Get used to it or don’t have kids.

screw you. there's NO reason to accept it.

[Anonymous]

I would make a list of the things that you actually can live without or your kids can live without and hand it to him. Tell him that he needs to start ticking things off the list. If he doesn’t do it, make sure that the consequences fall on him. No food in the pantry, he calls for take out. The kids aren’t signed up for Sunday soccer, you already joined a Su day Zumba class so he will have to entertain them for three hours. He will figure it out when he has to clean up the mess.

[Anonymous]

How does he know he does more? He has no idea what other men do. I highly doubt they ever sit around talking about it.