Helping my daughter cope with being the only girl on a boys team

[Anonymous]

I don't mean to be snarky, but some of the boys need to cope with having the girls on their team. We have 2 that are way out of their element. I get that they train 2 years up on the girls' side, but now at 13 they just are the team's weakest spots.

I played for a boy's travel team from 10-12---so I am not knocking girls on the teams. However, there were far fewer places for a girl to play when I was a kid. There are so many GREAT women soccer players in this area that I don't think it is necessary except for the 0.01% (and I've met one my son's age) that really need to be there.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My seven year old daughter is an exceptional athlete, and is never not moving: soccer is her chosen sport, but if she's not running around with a soccer ball, she's playing baseball, basketball, tennis, doing gymnastics. We moved to Europe last year, and for the first year, she did fine playing on a team with only boys. She also spent every recess playing soccer with the boys. But this year, she said she didn't want to play on the team anymore, and her teachers have told us that she's no longer playing at school either. She still plays with her dad a lot, but when asked, says she doesn't want to play with the boys anymore. She's asked to do different extracurriculars - all that are single player focused, such as horseback riding and gymnastics. We've allowed that, but feel really sad about this! Any suggestions? Is it just this age that the gender differences become more prominent? We've looked for a girls' league to no available; it seems they don't exist until the girls are older...

Yes---proving a point somebody wanted to argue with me about in a different thread that US women have been playing in an organized fashion for decades longer than most other countries in the World---including Europe.

[Anonymous]

There are rec teams that will take girls and in travel I don't think there is an issue with girls joining the boys team, although there are plenty of girls teams in travel as well. I recall a girl in the CYA(Chantilly) team while my son was in U9/U10 that played with the boys. She was a solid player that scored twice on us. She played as FWD/MID.

I guess you want her to play in school?

[Anonymous]

Put her on an all girls rec team, she may need to play up a year to when they split (Stoddert has an all girls option for 2nd grade and up)

My son is 7 and I’ve noticed and abrupt shift this fall soccer season. There are some really pushy and physical kids (boys) on the other team. It’s a big shift from last year and there are coaches who are asses and encourage this. The girls seem to be significantly more civilized in rec league soccer and the lack of shoving/pushing/kicking/shirt pulling may help her rediscover her enjoyment of team soccer.

[Anonymous]

OP here. We live in Brussels. Weird that everyone is challenging me on whether girls leagues exist; they do, but we've only found that they start when the girls are older. I'm not invested in soccer at all! I find it super boring, actually, and never played. I'm sad because my daughter seems to love it, and has only decided not to play because the boys are more aggressive and don't seem to like having a girl on the team. She definitely doesn't gravitate toward girly stuff, and is having a hard time this year figuring out her place on the playground, since she's no longer on the soccer court. We are organizing a lot more playdates with the girls, but it's been a challenge.

[Anonymous]

Play with the boys as long as she can. It will make her a better player in the long run. Find a team that is more accepting of her. If she is athletic and fast she should be able to keep up until puberty hits. Boys play a faster game than girls just because the overall team speed will be faster. And, boys play a little more physical at the younger ages. Girls catch up on that pretty quickly though.

[Anonymous]

I was the only girl on a boys team around that age because I was good and I hated it - I didn’t feel like one of the team. Fine a team with other girls if you can.

[Anonymous]

If she's good, the boys probably feel a bit threatened. I was a decent runner when I was young and during middle school the boys I passed on the track called me all sorts of names simply because they were getting passed by a girl.

My 8-year old DD played flag football last year and was the only girl on the team. It wasn't easy for her but it pushed her to try her best.

Hopefully at some point your daughter will meet other athletic girls she can play with but until then, it's good to be flexible and respect her preferences.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here. We live in Brussels. Weird that everyone is challenging me on whether girls leagues exist; they do, but we've only found that they start when the girls are older. I'm not invested in soccer at all! I find it super boring, actually, and never played. I'm sad because my daughter seems to love it, and has only decided not to play because the boys are more aggressive and don't seem to like having a girl on the team. She definitely doesn't gravitate toward girly stuff, and is having a hard time this year figuring out her place on the playground, since she's no longer on the soccer court. We are organizing a lot more playdates with the girls, but it's been a challenge.

How old is she?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here. We live in Brussels. Weird that everyone is challenging me on whether girls leagues exist; they do, but we've only found that they start when the girls are older. I'm not invested in soccer at all! I find it super boring, actually, and never played. I'm sad because my daughter seems to love it, and has only decided not to play because the boys are more aggressive and don't seem to like having a girl on the team. She definitely doesn't gravitate toward girly stuff, and is having a hard time this year figuring out her place on the playground, since she's no longer on the soccer court. We are organizing a lot more playdates with the girls, but it's been a challenge.

OP- I feel for you. It appears half the posters aren't even reading your post correctly. I'm actually Spain and I can tell you that my view on women changed after I married my wife who is an American. Now that I have 2 daughters of my own, I'm ashamed as to how I treated girls when I was younger. There is a gender divide and sports are focused on boys until the last decade or so. I feel sad for your daughter because I was one of those little boys that would "not" pass to that girl or take the ball to her a bit harder than I would normally do. I would approach a few of the boys families to set up a supervised game for fun. Don't be surprised if the parents don't bite or even care about your daughter.