Pulling DS from a higher-level team

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:So much bad advice on this thread. I coach travel 8-10 year old baseball, so I don't know or care much about soccer. I do know sports and kids though. And I can tell you that with parents like you and the other comminters, it's no wonder the U.S. team can't make the World Cup.




OK Chief, we'll believe you because you're a "long-time veteran" .

Your kid misses reps if he doesn't play travel at U-8 and U-9. Period.

He doesn't learn what it's like to get shoved to the ground against a better player.

He doesn't learn what it's like to have a team dinner with his teammates at Sizzler. As an aside, he doesn't get to work with his teammates to learn how to flirt with girls, by working together as a group to learn how to flatter them. Waitresses are great for this.

The training and coaching economy falls apart if families don't shell out for extra coaching. I make a solid $250 every month coaching kids in their transition from t-ball to coach-pitch. I set the foundetion that they use over time.

There is nothing, NOTHING, like walking through school with your travel uniform on. Smirking at the other kids who can't make travel. It's like waring a letterman jacket but younger.

When you pull your kid out, he doesn't learn teamwork. He also can't show commitment to a program built on the sweat he dropped in his ES and MS years--and the bucks that his parents shelled out.

When I build a program, I want kids whose parents are also commited. I want kids who can open up their indoor gym for practice when it rains. Yeah, that's right, the indoor gym--because that benefits the hole team and gets everyone more reps.

You gotta give to get.

I can't tell if this is satire or not, but in case it isn't, you're gross. You teach 8-10 year olds to flirt with waitresses? To smirk at the other kids not on the travel team?

Avoiding people like you, and the kids on your team, is a good reason not to let your kid play travel.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:So much bad advice on this thread. I coach travel 8-10 year old baseball, so I don't know or care much about soccer. I do know sports and kids though. And I can tell you that with parents like you and the other comminters, it's no wonder the U.S. team can't make the World Cup.




OK Chief, we'll believe you because you're a "long-time veteran" .

Your kid misses reps if he doesn't play travel at U-8 and U-9. Period.

He doesn't learn what it's like to get shoved to the ground against a better player.

He doesn't learn what it's like to have a team dinner with his teammates at Sizzler. As an aside, he doesn't get to work with his teammates to learn how to flirt with girls, by working together as a group to learn how to flatter them. Waitresses are great for this.

The training and coaching economy falls apart if families don't shell out for extra coaching. I make a solid $250 every month coaching kids in their transition from t-ball to coach-pitch. I set the foundetion that they use over time.

There is nothing, NOTHING, like walking through school with your travel uniform on. Smirking at the other kids who can't make travel. It's like waring a letterman jacket but younger.

When you pull your kid out, he doesn't learn teamwork. He also can't show commitment to a program built on the sweat he dropped in his ES and MS years--and the bucks that his parents shelled out.

When I build a program, I want kids whose parents are also commited. I want kids who can open up their indoor gym for practice when it rains. Yeah, that's right, the indoor gym--because that benefits the hole team and gets everyone more reps.

You gotta give to get.

I can't tell if this is satire or not, but in case it isn't, you're gross. You teach 8-10 year olds to flirt with waitresses? To smirk at the other kids not on the travel team?

Avoiding people like you, and the kids on your team, is a good reason not to let your kid play travel.

I certainly took it as satire.

Which, like most good satire, is rooted in reality. So many kids think they've made it because they have the cool travel gear. OP's DS sounds like someone with a much better grasp of what's important.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:So much bad advice on this thread. I coach travel 8-10 year old baseball, so I don't know or care much about soccer. I do know sports and kids though. And I can tell you that with parents like you and the other comminters, it's no wonder the U.S. team can't make the World Cup.

Anonymous wrote:Quote #1: ... Too level travel isn't always the best choice for a kid even if he qualifies for the team. Op, I would really try to pose these questions to as many parents as you can who are involved in travel soccer, bc there can be unintended consequences and you are smart to think ahead. You are also smart to focus first and foremost on your child's growth and happiness. Also, can you ask your son's former coaches these questions? They sound very supportive of your son and they must know the internal politics.

Where to begin?

1. If you're kid makes Travel, then it's best. Duh.

2. So you want to ask the parents of your kid's rivals for PT whether your kid should quit? So you don't just want to save them from bribing the coach, but you want to bribe the coach on their behalf to play THEIR kid, not yours!!!

3. Ask the Nats and the US Soccer Team whether "growth and happiness" 12 years ago matters when your dreams are slipping away on a rainy field. At least MLB learned its lesson and didn't try to give Bryce a "participation trophy".

4. You mean ask the coaches who coached at a lower level because they know the politics? If they were so good with the politics, they'd be coaching at the HIGH level. That's just part of the game. If you want to get championships at U-9 and U-10, you gotta play the game. Just a clue.

*****

quote=Anonymous]OP, take it from a long-time veteran of soccer in this area, you need not worry about what anyone else is doing---or that you are going to ruin your child's future at 11-years old by this one choice. It is very hard to tune out the crazy parents around you, but it's necessary. You are already on the right path by looking at your own child as an individual and what his needs are at this current time and place.

There are two camps in the travel soccer world.

1) The parents that are very focused on political gain from the start---they have to start at Club X and do everything in their power to rise or stay at the top from U9 onward. They will buy training from a Coach--even knowing that particular coach may not be the best trainer because they are looking for an angle, an "in" (yes--parents have told me they do this). They will do anything and everything a Club asks of them--even when it is having a negative impact on their kid and their family. They are ultimately scared of everything---being blackballed, having their kid not start if they miss something, standing up to a toxic coach, etc. ALL OF THIS BEHAVIOR beginning at age 8! They will tell everyone else ---if you don't do 'a, b and c' you child's chances 5-years down the road are squashed. They emit such tension on the sidelines every game. No surprise--this is much more about THEM, than their child. This area is filled with people like this--not just the sports world but in the academic world as well. SHUT THEM OUT.

2) The minority camp are the parents that wisely are taking clues from their own child and doing their research. Even though their child might make a top team, if they don't feel it's a good match or if it's too much too soon or the environment is too toxic, they politely decline. What someone may view as an inferior choice, e.g., oh--how could you leave for them--they aren't the best and don't play in XYZ league--these parents are looking at the LONG-TERM and what will keep their kid loving the sport and the best developmental track for their child's needs. They are looking at the best trainers--period--not teams. If they sense a kid needs a full off-season break (not Super Y or practices all winter long), they sit their kid and let him just play in the backyard.

U12 is still very young. Here's a little tidbit the type 1) parents don't realize--all of their posturing and sucking up and "commitment/loyalty to a club", skipping family weddings for a game, won't matter when the kid is 15/16. It just won't. The only thing anyone should be worried about is having a kid that wants to be out there and simultaneously making sure their individual development is the best it can be. The golden ticket in the later years is ultimately how good the kid is as a player---not which Club he played with in the early years or what Coaches know his face (though that is a big part of your youth soccer system and why we have players like Bradley (nepotism) on the pitch during the World Cup) or how many Hampton Inns they stayed at throughout the soccer season.

Ask yourself--would you want to play for a place that picks players solely on connections and loyalty---or would you want to play for a place where player talent/hard work is the main factor in the later years?

I repeatedly ask my kids if this is something they really want to do (not just because everyone else on the team is doing it) ---and we weigh the options before committing to anything.

I pulled my kid out of the Club scene at the same age as your child and he is absolutely thriving now. He worked on what he needed, not what a particular team needed. Through the years, we met some really great people that have stuck by my child and helped us with his personal development. These guys have been wonderful mentors for my son and put things in perspective for him. I refuse to drive or fly my kid all over the US at these young ages for regular season games or tournament after unnecessary tournament. It is just plain stupid and not the best thing for development. Your kid will have the upper hand in the later years if you only focus on his own needs, trust me. I know a handful of players that have gone the same route---leaving top Club team/DA/whatever for a few years---and coming back around 15/16 and blowing away the competition. The kids that stayed in that structure environment early on, for the most part, burned out or were cut when better players showed up at tryouts in the later years. Taking my child out of that toxic environment was one of the best decisions we've ever made. Really, very few Clubs actually care about your child. It's a business.

Your kid is giving you clues, listen to them. They will sometimes continue with things because they think it will make us happy. This is their time, not ours.

Find your tribe and keep your kid sheltered and having fun/motivated for as long as you can. Trust your gut and don't look back. This "business" can really mess with a child's motivation, self-esteem, player growth and confidence.

Best of luck to your son.

OK Chief, we'll believe you because you're a "long-time veteran" .

Your kid misses reps if he doesn't play travel at U-8 and U-9. Period.

He doesn't learn what it's like to get shoved to the ground against a better player.

He doesn't learn what it's like to have a team dinner with his teammates at Sizzler. As an aside, he doesn't get to work with his teammates to learn how to flirt with girls, by working together as a group to learn how to flatter them. Waitresses are great for this.

The training and coaching economy falls apart if families don't shell out for extra coaching. I make a solid $250 every month coaching kids in their transition from t-ball to coach-pitch. I set the foundetion that they use over time.

There is nothing, NOTHING, like walking through school with your travel uniform on. Smirking at the other kids who can't make travel. It's like waring a letterman jacket but younger.

When you pull your kid out, he doesn't learn teamwork. He also can't show commitment to a program built on the sweat he dropped in his ES and MS years--and the bucks that his parents shelled out.

When I build a program, I want kids whose parents are also commited. I want kids who can open up their indoor gym for practice when it rains. Yeah, that's right, the indoor gym--because that benefits the hole team and gets everyone more reps.

You gotta give to get.

You are crazy. Really.

[Anonymous]

OP here. I think the coach is satire too. I hope so, at least.

For what it's worth, in the off chance it wasn't satire, let me spell things out here: I do not think my kid is going to matter to the future of U.S. soccer. So, if you are giving advice to me based on the idea that I should be worrying about the fate of the USMNT when making my decision, just know that is not actually a factor in my decision-making. TIA.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here. I think the coach is satire too. I hope so, at least.

For what it's worth, in the off chance it wasn't satire, let me spell things out here: I do not think my kid is going to matter to the future of U.S. soccer. So, if you are giving advice to me based on the idea that I should be worrying about the fate of the USMNT when making my decision, just know that is not actually a factor in my decision-making. TIA.

It sounded like a classic, DC-area travel baseball coach to me!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here. I think the coach is satire too. I hope so, at least.

For what it's worth, in the off chance it wasn't satire, let me spell things out here: I do not think my kid is going to matter to the future of U.S. soccer. So, if you are giving advice to me based on the idea that I should be worrying about the fate of the USMNT when making my decision, just know that is not actually a factor in my decision-making. TIA.

It sounded like a classic, DC-area travel baseball coach to me!

You might be right, it sounds like some of what I've heard about baseball. Totally nuts.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP, take it from a long-time veteran of soccer in this area, you need not worry about what anyone else is doing---or that you are going to ruin your child's future at 11-years old by this one choice. It is very hard to tune out the crazy parents around you, but it's necessary. You are already on the right path by looking at your own child as an individual and what his needs are at this current time and place.

There are two camps in the travel soccer world.

1) The parents that are very focused on political gain from the start---they have to start at Club X and do everything in their power to rise or stay at the top from U9 onward. They will buy training from a Coach--even knowing that particular coach may not be the best trainer because they are looking for an angle, an "in" (yes--parents have told me they do this). They will do anything and everything a Club asks of them--even when it is having a negative impact on their kid and their family. They are ultimately scared of everything---being blackballed, having their kid not start if they miss something, standing up to a toxic coach, etc. ALL OF THIS BEHAVIOR beginning at age 8! They will tell everyone else ---if you don't do 'a, b and c' you child's chances 5-years down the road are squashed. They emit such tension on the sidelines every game. No surprise--this is much more about THEM, than their child. This area is filled with people like this--not just the sports world but in the academic world as well. SHUT THEM OUT.

2) The minority camp are the parents that wisely are taking clues from their own child and doing their research. Even though their child might make a top team, if they don't feel it's a good match or if it's too much too soon or the environment is too toxic, they politely decline. What someone may view as an inferior choice, e.g., oh--how could you leave for them--they aren't the best and don't play in XYZ league--these parents are looking at the LONG-TERM and what will keep their kid loving the sport and the best developmental track for their child's needs. They are looking at the best trainers--period--not teams. If they sense a kid needs a full off-season break (not Super Y or practices all winter long), they sit their kid and let him just play in the backyard.

U12 is still very young. Here's a little tidbit the type 1) parents don't realize--all of their posturing and sucking up and "commitment/loyalty to a club", skipping family weddings for a game, won't matter when the kid is 15/16. It just won't. The only thing anyone should be worried about is having a kid that wants to be out there and simultaneously making sure their individual development is the best it can be. The golden ticket in the later years is ultimately how good the kid is as a player---not which Club he played with in the early years or what Coaches know his face (though that is a big part of your youth soccer system and why we have players like Bradley (nepotism) on the pitch during the World Cup) or how many Hampton Inns they stayed at throughout the soccer season.

Ask yourself--would you want to play for a place that picks players solely on connections and loyalty---or would you want to play for a place where player talent/hard work is the main factor in the later years?

I repeatedly ask my kids if this is something they really want to do (not just because everyone else on the team is doing it) ---and we weigh the options before committing to anything.

I pulled my kid out of the Club scene at the same age as your child and he is absolutely thriving now. He worked on what he needed, not what a particular team needed. Through the years, we met some really great people that have stuck by my child and helped us with his personal development. These guys have been wonderful mentors for my son and put things in perspective for him. I refuse to drive or fly my kid all over the US at these young ages for regular season games or tournament after unnecessary tournament. It is just plain stupid and not the best thing for development. Your kid will have the upper hand in the later years if you only focus on his own needs, trust me. I know a handful of players that have gone the same route---leaving top Club team/DA/whatever for a few years---and coming back around 15/16 and blowing away the competition. The kids that stayed in that structure environment early on, for the most part, burned out or were cut when better players showed up at tryouts in the later years. Taking my child out of that toxic environment was one of the best decisions we've ever made. Really, very few Clubs actually care about your child. It's a business.

Your kid is giving you clues, listen to them. They will sometimes continue with things because they think it will make us happy. This is their time, not ours.

Find your tribe and keep your kid sheltered and having fun/motivated for as long as you can. Trust your gut and don't look back. This "business" can really mess with a child's motivation, self-esteem, player growth and confidence.

Best of luck to your son.

Great advice.

[Anonymous]

You are thinking about your 12 year old playing college soccer? By 18 he might be the best in the world or not even touch the ball after today. What is worrying me is that your first complaint is that he isn't learning as much, and only after that you say he isn't enjoying it as much. It is time for YOU to get your own hobby and let your kid decide what he wants to have as his hobby/sport.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You are thinking about your 12 year old playing college soccer? By 18 he might be the best in the world or not even touch the ball after today. What is worrying me is that your first complaint is that he isn't learning as much, and only after that you say he isn't enjoying it as much. It is time for YOU to get your own hobby and let your kid I decide what he wants to have as his hobby/sport.

Oh for Pete's sake. Pro-tip: We are not in second grade, where the most important item always has to be listed first in a paragraph.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, take it from a long-time veteran of soccer in this area, you need not worry about what anyone else is doing---or that you are going to ruin your child's future at 11-years old by this one choice. It is very hard to tune out the crazy parents around you, but it's necessary. You are already on the right path by looking at your own child as an individual and what his needs are at this current time and place.

There are two camps in the travel soccer world.

1) The parents that are very focused on political gain from the start---they have to start at Club X and do everything in their power to rise or stay at the top from U9 onward. They will buy training from a Coach--even knowing that particular coach may not be the best trainer because they are looking for an angle, an "in" (yes--parents have told me they do this). They will do anything and everything a Club asks of them--even when it is having a negative impact on their kid and their family. They are ultimately scared of everything---being blackballed, having their kid not start if they miss something, standing up to a toxic coach, etc. ALL OF THIS BEHAVIOR beginning at age 8! They will tell everyone else ---if you don't do 'a, b and c' you child's chances 5-years down the road are squashed. They emit such tension on the sidelines every game. No surprise--this is much more about THEM, than their child. This area is filled with people like this--not just the sports world but in the academic world as well. SHUT THEM OUT.

2) The minority camp are the parents that wisely are taking clues from their own child and doing their research. Even though their child might make a top team, if they don't feel it's a good match or if it's too much too soon or the environment is too toxic, they politely decline. What someone may view as an inferior choice, e.g., oh--how could you leave for them--they aren't the best and don't play in XYZ league--these parents are looking at the LONG-TERM and what will keep their kid loving the sport and the best developmental track for their child's needs. They are looking at the best trainers--period--not teams. If they sense a kid needs a full off-season break (not Super Y or practices all winter long), they sit their kid and let him just play in the backyard.

U12 is still very young. Here's a little tidbit the type 1) parents don't realize--all of their posturing and sucking up and "commitment/loyalty to a club", skipping family weddings for a game, won't matter when the kid is 15/16. It just won't. The only thing anyone should be worried about is having a kid that wants to be out there and simultaneously making sure their individual development is the best it can be. The golden ticket in the later years is ultimately how good the kid is as a player---not which Club he played with in the early years or what Coaches know his face (though that is a big part of your youth soccer system and why we have players like Bradley (nepotism) on the pitch during the World Cup) or how many Hampton Inns they stayed at throughout the soccer season.

Ask yourself--would you want to play for a place that picks players solely on connections and loyalty---or would you want to play for a place where player talent/hard work is the main factor in the later years?

I repeatedly ask my kids if this is something they really want to do (not just because everyone else on the team is doing it) ---and we weigh the options before committing to anything.

I pulled my kid out of the Club scene at the same age as your child and he is absolutely thriving now. He worked on what he needed, not what a particular team needed. Through the years, we met some really great people that have stuck by my child and helped us with his personal development. These guys have been wonderful mentors for my son and put things in perspective for him. I refuse to drive or fly my kid all over the US at these young ages for regular season games or tournament after unnecessary tournament. It is just plain stupid and not the best thing for development. Your kid will have the upper hand in the later years if you only focus on his own needs, trust me. I know a handful of players that have gone the same route---leaving top Club team/DA/whatever for a few years---and coming back around 15/16 and blowing away the competition. The kids that stayed in that structure environment early on, for the most part, burned out or were cut when better players showed up at tryouts in the later years. Taking my child out of that toxic environment was one of the best decisions we've ever made. Really, very few Clubs actually care about your child. It's a business.

Your kid is giving you clues, listen to them. They will sometimes continue with things because they think it will make us happy. This is their time, not ours.

Find your tribe and keep your kid sheltered and having fun/motivated for as long as you can. Trust your gut and don't look back. This "business" can really mess with a child's motivation, self-esteem, player growth and confidence.

Best of luck to your son.

Best advice ever.

I just want to say thank you so much for this post. You took the time to write out exactly how my spouse and I see our children’s sports. We are decidedly in the latter camp and put Kids are also thriving (but on the young side of all of this- so I appreciate the encouragement that we are on the right path from someone with older kids). You sound like a thoughtful and caring parent.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here. I think the coach is satire too. I hope so, at least.

For what it's worth, in the off chance it wasn't satire, let me spell things out here: I do not think my kid is going to matter to the future of U.S. soccer. So, if you are giving advice to me based on the idea that I should be worrying about the fate of the USMNT when making my decision, just know that is not actually a factor in my decision-making. TIA.

It sounded like a classic, DC-area travel baseball coach to me!

You might be right, it sounds like some of what I've heard about baseball. Totally nuts.

I've got 2 kids in baseball and it sounds spot on, unfortunately.

[Anonymous]

There's that absolutely psycho Arlington baseball coach who occasionally posts a whole (attention Mr. Awesome Travel Baseball Coach: it is indeed whole, not hole, as you so delightfully but incorrectly used) steaming pile of batshit crazy. This sounds just like him.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:So much bad advice on this thread. I coach travel 8-10 year old baseball, so I don't know or care much about soccer. I do know sports and kids though. And I can tell you that with parents like you and the other comminters, it's no wonder the U.S. team can't make the World Cup.

Anonymous wrote:Quote #1: ... Too level travel isn't always the best choice for a kid even if he qualifies for the team. Op, I would really try to pose these questions to as many parents as you can who are involved in travel soccer, bc there can be unintended consequences and you are smart to think ahead. You are also smart to focus first and foremost on your child's growth and happiness. Also, can you ask your son's former coaches these questions? They sound very supportive of your son and they must know the internal politics.

Where to begin?

1. If you're kid makes Travel, then it's best. Duh.

2. So you want to ask the parents of your kid's rivals for PT whether your kid should quit? So you don't just want to save them from bribing the coach, but you want to bribe the coach on their behalf to play THEIR kid, not yours!!!

3. Ask the Nats and the US Soccer Team whether "growth and happiness" 12 years ago matters when your dreams are slipping away on a rainy field. At least MLB learned its lesson and didn't try to give Bryce a "participation trophy".

4. You mean ask the coaches who coached at a lower level because they know the politics? If they were so good with the politics, they'd be coaching at the HIGH level. That's just part of the game. If you want to get championships at U-9 and U-10, you gotta play the game. Just a clue.

*****

quote=Anonymous]OP, take it from a long-time veteran of soccer in this area, you need not worry about what anyone else is doing---or that you are going to ruin your child's future at 11-years old by this one choice. It is very hard to tune out the crazy parents around you, but it's necessary. You are already on the right path by looking at your own child as an individual and what his needs are at this current time and place.

There are two camps in the travel soccer world.

1) The parents that are very focused on political gain from the start---they have to start at Club X and do everything in their power to rise or stay at the top from U9 onward. They will buy training from a Coach--even knowing that particular coach may not be the best trainer because they are looking for an angle, an "in" (yes--parents have told me they do this). They will do anything and everything a Club asks of them--even when it is having a negative impact on their kid and their family. They are ultimately scared of everything---being blackballed, having their kid not start if they miss something, standing up to a toxic coach, etc. ALL OF THIS BEHAVIOR beginning at age 8! They will tell everyone else ---if you don't do 'a, b and c' you child's chances 5-years down the road are squashed. They emit such tension on the sidelines every game. No surprise--this is much more about THEM, than their child. This area is filled with people like this--not just the sports world but in the academic world as well. SHUT THEM OUT.

2) The minority camp are the parents that wisely are taking clues from their own child and doing their research. Even though their child might make a top team, if they don't feel it's a good match or if it's too much too soon or the environment is too toxic, they politely decline. What someone may view as an inferior choice, e.g., oh--how could you leave for them--they aren't the best and don't play in XYZ league--these parents are looking at the LONG-TERM and what will keep their kid loving the sport and the best developmental track for their child's needs. They are looking at the best trainers--period--not teams. If they sense a kid needs a full off-season break (not Super Y or practices all winter long), they sit their kid and let him just play in the backyard.

U12 is still very young. Here's a little tidbit the type 1) parents don't realize--all of their posturing and sucking up and "commitment/loyalty to a club", skipping family weddings for a game, won't matter when the kid is 15/16. It just won't. The only thing anyone should be worried about is having a kid that wants to be out there and simultaneously making sure their individual development is the best it can be. The golden ticket in the later years is ultimately how good the kid is as a player---not which Club he played with in the early years or what Coaches know his face (though that is a big part of your youth soccer system and why we have players like Bradley (nepotism) on the pitch during the World Cup) or how many Hampton Inns they stayed at throughout the soccer season.

Ask yourself--would you want to play for a place that picks players solely on connections and loyalty---or would you want to play for a place where player talent/hard work is the main factor in the later years?

I repeatedly ask my kids if this is something they really want to do (not just because everyone else on the team is doing it) ---and we weigh the options before committing to anything.

I pulled my kid out of the Club scene at the same age as your child and he is absolutely thriving now. He worked on what he needed, not what a particular team needed. Through the years, we met some really great people that have stuck by my child and helped us with his personal development. These guys have been wonderful mentors for my son and put things in perspective for him. I refuse to drive or fly my kid all over the US at these young ages for regular season games or tournament after unnecessary tournament. It is just plain stupid and not the best thing for development. Your kid will have the upper hand in the later years if you only focus on his own needs, trust me. I know a handful of players that have gone the same route---leaving top Club team/DA/whatever for a few years---and coming back around 15/16 and blowing away the competition. The kids that stayed in that structure environment early on, for the most part, burned out or were cut when better players showed up at tryouts in the later years. Taking my child out of that toxic environment was one of the best decisions we've ever made. Really, very few Clubs actually care about your child. It's a business.

Your kid is giving you clues, listen to them. They will sometimes continue with things because they think it will make us happy. This is their time, not ours.

Find your tribe and keep your kid sheltered and having fun/motivated for as long as you can. Trust your gut and don't look back. This "business" can really mess with a child's motivation, self-esteem, player growth and confidence.

Best of luck to your son.

OK Chief, we'll believe you because you're a "long-time veteran" .

Your kid misses reps if he doesn't play travel at U-8 and U-9. Period.

He doesn't learn what it's like to get shoved to the ground against a better player.

He doesn't learn what it's like to have a team dinner with his teammates at Sizzler. As an aside, he doesn't get to work with his teammates to learn how to flirt with girls, by working together as a group to learn how to flatter them. Waitresses are great for this.

The training and coaching economy falls apart if families don't shell out for extra coaching. I make a solid $250 every month coaching kids in their transition from t-ball to coach-pitch. I set the foundetion that they use over time.

There is nothing, NOTHING, like walking through school with your travel uniform on. Smirking at the other kids who can't make travel. It's like waring a letterman jacket but younger.

When you pull your kid out, he doesn't learn teamwork. He also can't show commitment to a program built on the sweat he dropped in his ES and MS years--and the bucks that his parents shelled out.

When I build a program, I want kids whose parents are also commited. I want kids who can open up their indoor gym for practice when it rains. Yeah, that's right, the indoor gym--because that benefits the hole team and gets everyone more reps.

You gotta give to get.

A. Baseball is not a sport. Not really, just a game. If you can do it chewing tobacco..... Not in the Olympics and nobody outside US cares.
B. Nobody in the US cares about pro soccer, apart from crazy parents of children.
C. Those who can't play coach.
D. Yes you are right, parents you want are commited. Commited crazy, (your spelling.)
E. There are no Sizzlers in the DMV area? Does anybody actually goes to Sizzler anymore?
F. The only thing 8 year olds can get from "reps" is little league elbow.
G. There is medicine that can help you. Seek treatment, better now, "baseball coach," before you end up in prison.
H. Committed, not commited.

[Anonymous]

Ask yourself--would you want to play for a place that picks players solely on connections and loyalty---or would you want to play for a place where player talent/hard work is the main factor in the later years?

Ironically, these things happen, and unless parents discuss this openly, you could be wasting time/money having been sold a program that is all talk and BS about all development for individuals at younger ages.

I fell for it for a bit at my local club, watched the ridiculousness and kicked myself for listening to parents who were eating it up like flies on shit every year when a new coach with "great" quals was selected.

I like hearing what the bragging parents have to say, they usually tell me about programs i've never heard of, league and club differences. Some of these arrogant/ignorant parents know whats up, some don't. but since we are all adults, i'd like to believe that you can see the forest through the trees before it's too late.

I think i've been sold again though..smh... by another club with a better rep for training but it still feels like its about the Ws and less about the individual development. Ironically, a club/league that some say is all about the wins has been the best for my other kids individual development/progress. go figure.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:So much bad advice on this thread. I coach travel 8-10 year old baseball, so I don't know or care much about soccer. I do know sports and kids though. And I can tell you that with parents like you and the other comminters, it's no wonder the U.S. team can't make the World Cup.

Anonymous wrote:Quote #1: ... Too level travel isn't always the best choice for a kid even if he qualifies for the team. Op, I would really try to pose these questions to as many parents as you can who are involved in travel soccer, bc there can be unintended consequences and you are smart to think ahead. You are also smart to focus first and foremost on your child's growth and happiness. Also, can you ask your son's former coaches these questions? They sound very supportive of your son and they must know the internal politics.

Where to begin?

1. If you're kid makes Travel, then it's best. Duh.

2. So you want to ask the parents of your kid's rivals for PT whether your kid should quit? So you don't just want to save them from bribing the coach, but you want to bribe the coach on their behalf to play THEIR kid, not yours!!!

3. Ask the Nats and the US Soccer Team whether "growth and happiness" 12 years ago matters when your dreams are slipping away on a rainy field. At least MLB learned its lesson and didn't try to give Bryce a "participation trophy".

4. You mean ask the coaches who coached at a lower level because they know the politics? If they were so good with the politics, they'd be coaching at the HIGH level. That's just part of the game. If you want to get championships at U-9 and U-10, you gotta play the game. Just a clue.

*****

quote=Anonymous]OP, take it from a long-time veteran of soccer in this area, you need not worry about what anyone else is doing---or that you are going to ruin your child's future at 11-years old by this one choice. It is very hard to tune out the crazy parents around you, but it's necessary. You are already on the right path by looking at your own child as an individual and what his needs are at this current time and place.

There are two camps in the travel soccer world.

1) The parents that are very focused on political gain from the start---they have to start at Club X and do everything in their power to rise or stay at the top from U9 onward. They will buy training from a Coach--even knowing that particular coach may not be the best trainer because they are looking for an angle, an "in" (yes--parents have told me they do this). They will do anything and everything a Club asks of them--even when it is having a negative impact on their kid and their family. They are ultimately scared of everything---being blackballed, having their kid not start if they miss something, standing up to a toxic coach, etc. ALL OF THIS BEHAVIOR beginning at age 8! They will tell everyone else ---if you don't do 'a, b and c' you child's chances 5-years down the road are squashed. They emit such tension on the sidelines every game. No surprise--this is much more about THEM, than their child. This area is filled with people like this--not just the sports world but in the academic world as well. SHUT THEM OUT.

2) The minority camp are the parents that wisely are taking clues from their own child and doing their research. Even though their child might make a top team, if they don't feel it's a good match or if it's too much too soon or the environment is too toxic, they politely decline. What someone may view as an inferior choice, e.g., oh--how could you leave for them--they aren't the best and don't play in XYZ league--these parents are looking at the LONG-TERM and what will keep their kid loving the sport and the best developmental track for their child's needs. They are looking at the best trainers--period--not teams. If they sense a kid needs a full off-season break (not Super Y or practices all winter long), they sit their kid and let him just play in the backyard.

U12 is still very young. Here's a little tidbit the type 1) parents don't realize--all of their posturing and sucking up and "commitment/loyalty to a club", skipping family weddings for a game, won't matter when the kid is 15/16. It just won't. The only thing anyone should be worried about is having a kid that wants to be out there and simultaneously making sure their individual development is the best it can be. The golden ticket in the later years is ultimately how good the kid is as a player---not which Club he played with in the early years or what Coaches know his face (though that is a big part of your youth soccer system and why we have players like Bradley (nepotism) on the pitch during the World Cup) or how many Hampton Inns they stayed at throughout the soccer season.

Ask yourself--would you want to play for a place that picks players solely on connections and loyalty---or would you want to play for a place where player talent/hard work is the main factor in the later years?

I repeatedly ask my kids if this is something they really want to do (not just because everyone else on the team is doing it) ---and we weigh the options before committing to anything.

I pulled my kid out of the Club scene at the same age as your child and he is absolutely thriving now. He worked on what he needed, not what a particular team needed. Through the years, we met some really great people that have stuck by my child and helped us with his personal development. These guys have been wonderful mentors for my son and put things in perspective for him. I refuse to drive or fly my kid all over the US at these young ages for regular season games or tournament after unnecessary tournament. It is just plain stupid and not the best thing for development. Your kid will have the upper hand in the later years if you only focus on his own needs, trust me. I know a handful of players that have gone the same route---leaving top Club team/DA/whatever for a few years---and coming back around 15/16 and blowing away the competition. The kids that stayed in that structure environment early on, for the most part, burned out or were cut when better players showed up at tryouts in the later years. Taking my child out of that toxic environment was one of the best decisions we've ever made. Really, very few Clubs actually care about your child. It's a business.

Your kid is giving you clues, listen to them. They will sometimes continue with things because they think it will make us happy. This is their time, not ours.

Find your tribe and keep your kid sheltered and having fun/motivated for as long as you can. Trust your gut and don't look back. This "business" can really mess with a child's motivation, self-esteem, player growth and confidence.

Best of luck to your son.

OK Chief, we'll believe you because you're a "long-time veteran" .

Your kid misses reps if he doesn't play travel at U-8 and U-9. Period.

He doesn't learn what it's like to get shoved to the ground against a better player.

He doesn't learn what it's like to have a team dinner with his teammates at Sizzler. As an aside, he doesn't get to work with his teammates to learn how to flirt with girls, by working together as a group to learn how to flatter them. Waitresses are great for this.

The training and coaching economy falls apart if families don't shell out for extra coaching. I make a solid $250 every month coaching kids in their transition from t-ball to coach-pitch. I set the foundetion that they use over time.

There is nothing, NOTHING, like walking through school with your travel uniform on. Smirking at the other kids who can't make travel. It's like waring a letterman jacket but younger.

When you pull your kid out, he doesn't learn teamwork. He also can't show commitment to a program built on the sweat he dropped in his ES and MS years--and the bucks that his parents shelled out.

When I build a program, I want kids whose parents are also commited. I want kids who can open up their indoor gym for practice when it rains. Yeah, that's right, the indoor gym--because that benefits the hole team and gets everyone more reps.

You gotta give to get.

Harvey?