Would you leave your 8th grader with friends to travel with DH?

[Anonymous]

I am a full-time 100% single parent and travel several times a year for work.

A week is the max I go because after about 5 days it gets kind of disruptive to them (and that's when I have hired people to watch them at our house so they still have their own rooms, stuff etc.). I have done this since they were young (gradually expanding the days gone-- or taking them on longer trips when school was less important).

Having said that, a one-time 2 weeks gone seems fine! Sounds like a great opportunity for you and your husband. AND, a good, happy marriage is also good for your child!

[Anonymous]

This really depends on what your kid can handle. Mine could not have handled this academically. So my answer for my kid is a resounding "no."

[Anonymous]

No you should not leave you son for two weeks so you can have fun. I would be super annoyed if a friend asked me to watch her kid for two weeks for a non emergency.

[Anonymous]

If child is okay with it and only for two weeks I would do it BUT I would hire a college student to come to your house. Your friends could have him over and do carpool to school or sports events.

I did this for families ( long weekends) when I was in college. I think I started by working with one of the moms part- time in a retail store and she asked- from there it was referrals.

When my DH and I moved to D.C. Without family we also advertised free room and board in exchange for light sitting. Had a absolutely wonderful experience with someone who lived with us for a year.

If you are in DC there are tons of universities to advertise. Interview, interview, interview. Have them start coming now to get to know you. As another poster said, I think too long for friends. What if the D.C. Start bickering like siblings, etc.

The other thing we did on the other end of the kid spectrum ( teen years), we had a retired neighbor who we got along with wonderfully. I asked in a pinch to pick- up D.C. While husband on travel. Turned into a 2x a week paid gig to get them from school to sports practice. Made our life so much easier and our D.C. Loved her stories and she loved talking to him.

Think outside the box and go!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Asking a friend to do this for 2 weeks is too much. A grandparent or aunt/uncle is probably okay (and they're more likely to tell you if it is too much of an imposition).

I agree. I think it's too much to ask of anyone that isn't a best friend of many years that's like a sister/brother or a close family member. And I'd only ask them if I trusted they would tell me No if they did not want to do do it.

[Anonymous]

A month is too long, a week or two with a relative staying is fine. You are really imposing on another family for two weeks, or a month. Its a huge expense and time commitment, and if your kid and theirs are in separate activities it may be an issue. You would have to be really good friends to ask for that kind of favor.

[Anonymous]

Two weeks is an awfully long time to leave your child. I would go on vacation with my husband for two weeks (leaving my child at home) only if grandparents or aunt/uncle or our nanny came to our house and stayed with our child. Children need the routine, stability and structure of being in their own home. And I would never impose on friends for that long unless it was an emergency because it is such a tremendous obligation.

[Anonymous]

Absolutely not. Too long to leave an 8th grader without family and out of his home for something less than an urgent situation. Too long to impose on a friend.

I'd do a week perhaps, but that's not enough time to go to China. Sorry. I get it, I've missed some trips to Europe that DH has taken for work. That's parenting.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:No, I would not leave someone else in charge of my child due to a vacation.

Agree

[Anonymous]

We've done this before and it's been fine.

Same as with your kid, ours no longer want to miss school due to how far it puts them behind (even just 1 day; so crazy!).

We used to take them out of school for trips when they were younger and even in 6th & a bit in 7th grade. When our oldest was in 8th, she stopped doing the trips because of the workload from missing school. Our son still went on a few trips, but he stopped around 8th grade as well.

They usually each stay with a good friend for a week or 2 while we're gone. We reciprocate with the family as well. Sometimes it'll just be us taking their kid for a few long weekend trips and giving the parents a gift card for a nice dinner out. Sometimes it's us watching their kid for a week or two while they travel.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:No you should not leave you son for two weeks so you can have fun. I would be super annoyed if a friend asked me to watch her kid for two weeks for a non emergency.

I wouldn't, but I'd also expect 1) an amazing gift upon their return and 2) some big time "you owe me" favors.

An 8th grader should be fairly self-sufficient. I don't think I'd leave younger than a 13 yo for more than a week.

When you think about it, they're only an 'imposition' upon the family for an hour or so before school and a few hours after school; even less if sports are involved.

We've had kids stay with us for a week when their parents both had business trips at the same time that they couldn't get out of. It really was very little extra work. I had to make a bit extra for breakfast, but the kids both ate at school for lunch, so there was no extra work there. They played on the same sports team as my son, so I was already picking someone up from practice. And I always do big dinners because I like to have leftovers for lunch, so there were no real dinner adjustments that needed made.

Just make sure you GO into the school with a note that states when you'll be gone and who has custody of the kids during that time. Leave all of the appropriate information with the person watching the kid (doctors, insurance, etc.).

[Anonymous]

I honestly cannot imagine ever asking any type of friend to do this unless it was an emergency and someone as dealthly ill. I adore my close friends and I think we have remained close friends because we don't ask big favors of eachother. Unless you have the easiest kids, I find this obnoxious to be honest. Don't be surprised if you burn through friends after these types of favors. I would decline and then distance myself. If on the other hand someone were ill, then I would say "yes" and offer to be supportive in any way possible. Friends are there for you, but they are not the free hired help.