17-year-old son dating 18-year-old very possessive unmotivated graduate. How to stop?

[Anonymous]

"verifiably dumb and unmotivated"?

That word doesn't mean what you think it does.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You don't stop it. Jeez. Get him some condoms or something, but it's his life.

You'd say the same if your 17-year-old daughter was dating a drug dealer?

DP. This isn't an equivalent scenario at all because I see nothing in the OP that indicates concern that the girlfriend is dealing drugs. If my kid of any gender was a close associate of someone I had reason to believe was engaging in illegal behavior, we would be having a very serious conversation about the potential consequences of continuing a close friendship or dating relationship with someone doing something that could result in criminal convictions. If my 16+ year old kid of any gender is dating someone who doesn't have red flags for abusive or illegal behavior, I would pretty much mind my own business even if I didn't like the person.

Unmotivated girls who don't leave town for university are party girl losers; at 18 it's illegal to drink, so I guess she does fit the bill of engaging in illegal behavior.

You just make up all sorts of sh!t, don't you?

[Anonymous]

OP, my kids are younger so I probably have no idea what I'm talking about here, but if I were in your situation here's what I think I would do:

I would start planning more family activities that he is expected to take part in. Trip for Thanksgiving break/ Christmas break/ spring break. Go to visit grandma one weekend as a family. Take a trip to the beach. Plan a local family reunion/ dinner -- that kind of thing. The girlfriend is not invited.

[Anonymous]

Approve of her!

Invite her to dinner. Invite her to do things with your family. Tell your son how wonderful you think she is!

[Anonymous]

As long as he doesn't knock her up and he keeps his grades and activities up and is viable for college, let it play out.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Approve of her!

Invite her to dinner. Invite her to do things with your family. Tell your son how wonderful you think she is!

Approve might be a bit far, but I agree with being nice to her, inviting her to dinner etc.

[Anonymous]

I bet she's super-hot, isn't she?

a 17 year old boy would date Adolf Hitler if he was in the body of a smoking hot girl. Nothing else matters.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I bet she's super-hot, isn't she?

a 17 year old boy would date Adolf Hitler if he was in the body of a smoking hot girl. Nothing else matters.

Date? Why beat around the bush? Type the word and it doesn't start with "D".

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I bet she's super-hot, isn't she?

a 17 year old boy would date Adolf Hitler if he was in the body of a smoking hot girl. Nothing else matters.

No, not hot. Much cuter girls at his school. She's trashy and desperate. And we have money.

[Anonymous]

Jesus, let him have a little fun as long as he's smart enough to do it safely. Like a PP said, monitor that his grades and EC's aren't slipping and, if they do, come down hard on that. Whatever you do, don't make it about the girls or it will backfire. This time next year, she'll be nothing but a pleasant memory for him.

(Before I get attacked, I would have the same advice if it was somebody's daughter dating a slacker guy. Short of pregnancy or an STD, this will pass.)

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I bet she's super-hot, isn't she?

a 17 year old boy would date Adolf Hitler if he was in the body of a smoking hot girl. Nothing else matters.

No, not hot. Much cuter girls at his school. She's trashy and desperate. And we have money.

Troll post

[Anonymous]

The more you are against her, the more he'll pull towards her.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You don't stop it. Jeez. Get him some condoms or something, but it's his life.

You'd say the same if your 17-year-old daughter was dating a drug dealer?

DP. This isn't an equivalent scenario at all because I see nothing in the OP that indicates concern that the girlfriend is dealing drugs. If my kid of any gender was a close associate of someone I had reason to believe was engaging in illegal behavior, we would be having a very serious conversation about the potential consequences of continuing a close friendship or dating relationship with someone doing something that could result in criminal convictions. If my 16+ year old kid of any gender is dating someone who doesn't have red flags for abusive or illegal behavior, I would pretty much mind my own business even if I didn't like the person.

Unmotivated girls who don't leave town for university are party girl losers; at 18 it's illegal to drink, so I guess she does fit the bill of engaging in illegal behavior.

You just make up all sorts of sh!t, don't you?

Exactly. The OP said nothing about underage drinking. Comparing this to dating a criminal is idiotic.

[Anonymous]

Not to sound crude, but if she is hot probably no stopping it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You don't stop it. Jeez. Get him some condoms or something, but it's his life.

This is why better birth control for males needs to be a priority. Condoms break, slip off, etc