Should I force my kids to play sports?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This is a terrible idea. Don't do it. He needs physical activity but why does it have to be in a sport? Forcing this is a great way to end up with a kid who hates your guts.

+1. My son really doesn't like sports. I was lucky enough to find a summer camp for him that encourages physical activity even if sports aren't involved. He played a lot of duck duck goose, tag, and catch with friends this summer. He enjoyed those games far more than he does soccer, lacrosse, or baseball. He was still outside, still running around, and still playing with his friends.

[Anonymous]

I wouldn't force it (though I would make sure they have plenty of time running around outside) but I would find lower-involvement sports for them to take part in if they are neutral or somewhat willing.

My oldest is 8 and not a particularly sporty kid. He's played rec soccer the past two years, and just this last season really started enjoying it (he's still not a star, but really likes being on a team with his friends). He also did swim team this year, which was a struggle at first, but a HUGE confidence booster by the end of the season and really really fun for him in the end. I was surprised that both turned into such positive experiences for him and glad that we had strongly encouraged him.

That said, no need to make yourself crazy carting kids around, especially before 2nd or 3rd grade, but there definitely are social, emotional, and physical benefits that I found have made some effort to get my kids in there worth it.

[Anonymous]

God, no. Put them in a yoga class.

[Anonymous]

Encourage, yes. Force, no way. It's the worst idea ever to make your child do a sport he or she does not want to do. You really need to find a sport that they actually enjoy. They don't have to be good at it but they need to be having fun!

I know there's a lot of pressure in elementary for boys to be part of sports teams but it isn't for every kid and as long as your kids are happy and healthy I would count my blessings and move on.

[Anonymous]

No.

Personally, I think it's our job to expose kids to different hobbies, but not to force things for no reason.

Part of this is teaching some lifelong hobbies that are good for health, but that could be as simple as riding bikes or hiking. Great family activities.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Forced my son to do soccer in Preschool and now he HATES it! Let your kids guide your decision- if they want to play on a team then by all means. If you ask and they don't want to go, I'd wait a couple of years and try again. In the meantime, maybe try alternative sports like Parkour or even gymnastics- they have some boys specific programs at Silver Stars.

Forced my kid to play soccer in pre school and now he LOVES it. Just got selected for DA team.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I have a teenager now who we are trying to wean back into sports. He started out with baseball and basketball and then in about 3rd grade just didn't have a huge interest and I dropped the ball - I should have pushed him to continue.

By not continuing, he basically lost any real skills or knowledge of the game, and by the time he hit middle school he was very very self-conscious -- which only made him less interested in playing team sports.

We kept him in something throughout this -- martial arts for a few years, more recently tennis. But I feel like we really didn't do him any favors by letting him opt out at 8yo. He will never be a huge sports kid, but for fitting in socially and for staying fit, I wish we had kept him on some team until middle school.

I understand your point. My brother never was into team sports. He was always involved in some physical activity and completed in a few track events in high school but never had an interest in anything with a team. He's an adult now and wishes he liked football or basketball and could have conversations with guys about what's going on. He makes an effort to look up who's playing in the super bowl, World Series etc for social situations. He's not trying to be someone he isn't and is comfortable with his life but it makes small talk with guy acquaintances easier.

My son is similar. DH stopped encouraging him to play on teams at 9 when he forcefully said no. My son doesn't mind watching games with my jock husband on tv or going to one in person. I think it's important for boys to have a general knowledge. Call it sexist but it's the truth. My daughter loves the team environment and wanted to play soccer as soon as she could walk. She also watches games with DH.

[Anonymous]

Elementary school organized sports was unimportant. Both made multiple varsity HS teams later. Op, do it only if it's convenient for you and they want to. If they are younger than 5th grade, it's ridiculous to think it's necessary. Do if they want.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This is a terrible idea. Don't do it. He needs physical activity but why does it have to be in a sport? Forcing this is a great way to end up with a kid who hates your guts.

Or the other boys will end up hating his guts. BTDT.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Forced my son to do soccer in Preschool and now he HATES it! Let your kids guide your decision- if they want to play on a team then by all means. If you ask and they don't want to go, I'd wait a couple of years and try again. In the meantime, maybe try alternative sports like Parkour or even gymnastics- they have some boys specific programs at Silver Stars.

Forced my kid to play soccer in pre school and now he LOVES it. Just got selected for DA team.

That's great, but when you say "forced" do you mean that he didn't want to go and you made him and now he loves it, or that you forced him to go to the first class and he took to it right away? I think if a kid is adamantly against playing on a team (after trying it) you should never force it as it can definitely backfire.

[Anonymous]

No. You should not force it.

[Anonymous]

What? No, of course not. Wait until they're interested (if ever). Offer other options for activity...rock climbing, swimming, biking, running, etc. As long as they're moving their bodies and having fun!

[Anonymous]

our one kid would more easily gravitate to not doing any sport if given any opening and seemed relatively not athletically interested or naturally skilled - we said he had to do one sport with his friends. He had to stay physically active. While not opposed to individual sports felt team sport was easier to have consistency. . Gave him options that he chose from. Teams were mostly friends and very positive coaches that made the least athletic or least interested kid welcomed and have fun. (having seen bad coaching / team environments with older kids this was critical, so we sought that out in team options) We helped with team activities around games. So not sure if this was a 'force' or creating parameters to make it a more enjoyable experience even if he naturally would have said no. There are a lot of of mediocre or even bad rec environments that can see why kids may not like and push back hard on so it becomes a force

Turned out, and would not have guessed this, He was a late bloomer. Fast forward to middle school, he has begun to love a sport - and has really begun to focus and see progress from his efforts. It's also given him confidence when he needed a boost. Not saying that happens to all kids, but glad we put in the effort to make this work through elementary school.

[Anonymous]

As a former fat kid whose parents didn't make her do anything, I would make them pick one active activity. Doesn't have to be sports, but make them ride their bike a few times a week, have them try things like rock climbing, parkour, dance classes, fencing. Go hiking as a family every single weekend. Just don't let the default be legos and video games.

[Anonymous]

I force one sport a season, but I don't care what it is. My parents never forced me to do anything athletic. I'm very self conscious in situations where this comes up. More importantly, I do not like exerting myself. I need to exercise as I get older, and it takes so much more motivation than it should. I've gone through life being skinny enough to not worry about it. But obviously, there are serious health risks to not exercising.