Fair fighting in your marriage. If you hit below the belt, is the marriage doomed?

[Anonymous]

It's hard to say. Dumb insults may not bother me that much, but there could be a revelatory "Oh, so THAT's how you really feel" moment that might be difficult to turn back from, depending on what it was.

[Anonymous]

After I filed for divorce, my X told me that his father cold me gold digger behind my back. It was meant to hurt me because I grew up poor. Without a beat, I sneered, "What gold? I've supported your broke ass for 10 years and put you through grad school."

I was glad that moment happened because I finally knew with 100% certainty what I suspected his family always though about me. It freed me to proceed with the divorce with absolutely no guilt.

Oddly, I mentioned it to my former SIL a few years later and she said my X used to call me that after the divorce, but his dad never did, before or after!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I've hit "below the belt" in my marriage many times in so far that I have been 100% honest about problematic behaviors and qualities displayed by my husband. I couldn't be with a man who couldn't take the truth and whose ego I had to dance around. I would feel like a fraud if I had to keep my real thoughts inside and the marriage would seem fake to me. To my husband's credit, he can take the truth. And so can I, by the way. He is also 100% truthful with me at appropriate moments as well. This approach might not be for everyone, but it works for us. I will also add that we are positive and complimentary with each other much more than we are critical, but sometimes you have to tell it like it is or else your marriage becomes stale and fake.

[Anonymous]

My exDW would insult me, my job, my habits, my hobbies, my friends, my parents and siblings, and nearly everything to do with me. She would also mock-mimic me using "retard voice".