Why do parents give you a weird look when you ask about their technology rules in their house?

[Anonymous]

My kid has a kindle. Kid is 7.

Our rules are: You can read for unlimited time for as long as you want. If you'd like to play games, please ask first.

You can email back and forth with selected people on your list (grandparents, aunts & uncles, parents) -- the list is controlled by us and the system will not send or receive emails to people not on the list.

You can ask me if you'd like to bring it out with you. If other kids don't have electronics, you don't sit with your face in the device, you put it away and go play.

About a half hour of TV a couple of nights a week, but we're flexible with that.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'd probably give you a confused look as my kids don't have phones at 9 and 10 and your kid certainly isn't coming over to play on our home computer. Kids play outside, its summer!

yep and then I would politely excuse myself and child from being around you. You are obviously trying too hard and have no common sense.

[Anonymous]

Because it is a stupid question and none of your business and figure it out yourself.

[Anonymous]

I am thinking maybe you are not being clear in your question, OP. Your post was kind of rambling.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I am trying to come out with a plan/ system for my kids, 8 & 10. It's same kind of weirdness if I ask what camps they are doing this summer? I need help with setting up a family system (checking texts, emails, instagrams). Re camps, I had wanted my kids to have a friend to go with. So .. what are your house rules regarding phone, iPod, iPad usage. if I take away one for a consequence, I end up taking all of them away versus one and this has been a disaster. Help!

Are you saying if one of your kids acts up on a playdate at your house, you'd try to take away the friend's (guests) phones/electronics too? Your question is confusing.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'd probably give you a confused look as my kids don't have phones at 9 and 10 and your kid certainly isn't coming over to play on our home computer. Kids play outside, its summer!

yep and then I would politely excuse myself and child from being around you. You are obviously trying too hard and have no common sense.

I'm not trying at all. Its way easier to have kids play outside, mine love it. If yours don't, by all means keep your child away! Its not try hard to have a child whose face isn't always in a screen, I promise.

[Anonymous]

I'd probably give you a confused look as my kids don't have phones at 9 and 10 and your kid certainly isn't coming over to play on our home computer. Kids play outside, its summer!

My kid (9) doesn't have a phone or gaming system, but we do have a kindle, and I find your response unnecessarily self righteous. My son plays outside all of the time, but the reality is that other kids in our neighborhood have gaming systems, and sometimes he'll play on them at those kids' houses. It "confuses" you that other people might have gaming systems in their homes, and rules about those systems, even if you don't?

[Anonymous]

My teen doesn't really have any rules for electronics. We talk about online social problems, the risk of sending pictures (with or without clothes), how not to use your phone when you're out with people, etc. I've only threatened to take it away once, and that was because she was arguing and refusing to do what I told her to do.

These rules have evolved since she was 8. I have never had to limit her time spent on her phone. She manages that herself without a problem. I don't think we've ever had hard and fast rules for most phone-related things. I did check her messages more often when she was younger. At 15/16, I limit that to respect her privacy.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I am trying to come out with a plan/ system for my kids, 8 & 10. It's same kind of weirdness if I ask what camps they are doing this summer? I need help with setting up a family system (checking texts, emails, instagrams). Re camps, I had wanted my kids to have a friend to go with. So .. what are your house rules regarding phone, iPod, iPad usage. if I take away one for a consequence, I end up taking all of them away versus one and this has been a disaster. Help!

Even your title here comes off a bit sanctimonious. Like as if you are saying " I am just trying to be awesome and do what the parenting blogs tell me. Ugh, why can't these other uneducated parents know anything when I talk to them!!"

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'd probably give you a confused look as my kids don't have phones at 9 and 10 and your kid certainly isn't coming over to play on our home computer. Kids play outside, its summer!

yep and then I would politely excuse myself and child from being around you. You are obviously trying too hard and have no common sense.

I'm not trying at all. Its way easier to have kids play outside, mine love it. If yours don't, by all means keep your child away! Its not try hard to have a child whose face isn't always in a screen, I promise.

PP-I apologize, I was actually supporting you and agree 100%. I meant my comment for the OP. Hit submit too quick.

[Anonymous]

OP, perhaps it's your tone or the way you ask that comes off as judgemental or criticism? My DD is only 8 so we aren't there yet, but I feel totally comfortable asking for that sort of parenting advice or feedback from friends with kids the same age, or a bit older. "Hey, do your kids have their own iPad/Kindle? We're thinking of getting one for Larla as a birthday present. Do you have any limits on things like amount of use or access to social media, we're trying to figure out how we'd manage it and looking for ideas of what works."

YMMV, but I totally rely on bouncing ideas off of the moms in my circle so if you're getting strange looks I'm not sure if it's how you're asking or simply the people with whom you associate.