Night owl teenager

[Anonymous]

No electronics in the bedroom (we allow a CD player & radio so DCs can listen to music).

DCs have to be in their bedrooms from midnight to 6am because those are sleeping hours in our house - wandering around disturbs other people. No staying up all hours making snacks or watching TV.

Time outside each and every day. Exercise each and every day. Without spending time outside and getting exercise, my DCs have a harder time getting to sleep. We also have a recommended "lights out" at 11pm. We don't enforce these unless DCs are crabby and annoying. If they're not getting enough sleep, I put my foot down and insist they go outside / go for a run / turn their lights down at 11pm. Once they're crabby, they're affecting my life and the life of the rest of the family and we need to put some more things in place so they can be pleasant members of the family. If they can stay up all night and never leave the house and be perfectly pleasant? Then they get to make those choices for themselves. Spoiler: They can't. My kids really need sunlight, exercise, and decent sleep.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:No electronics in the bedroom (we allow a CD player & radio so DCs can listen to music).

DCs have to be in their bedrooms from midnight to 6am because those are sleeping hours in our house - wandering around disturbs other people. No staying up all hours making snacks or watching TV.

Time outside each and every day. Exercise each and every day. Without spending time outside and getting exercise, my DCs have a harder time getting to sleep. We also have a recommended "lights out" at 11pm. We don't enforce these unless DCs are crabby and annoying. If they're not getting enough sleep, I put my foot down and insist they go outside / go for a run / turn their lights down at 11pm. Once they're crabby, they're affecting my life and the life of the rest of the family and we need to put some more things in place so they can be pleasant members of the family. If they can stay up all night and never leave the house and be perfectly pleasant? Then they get to make those choices for themselves. Spoiler: They can't. My kids really need sunlight, exercise, and decent sleep.

You sound utterly delightful.

[Anonymous]

OP, the most important question is what she is doing while she stays awake. My near 13 y/o also "refused" to go to bed in the beginning of summer. Swore he just wasn't tired. Then we started shutting off the wifi at 10:30 (11:00 on weekends) and taking his phone. If he had to be up early we had a "lights out" a half hour later but otherwise we just left him alone.

Typically he now is in bed asleep within 30 minutes after the wifi goes off. Sometimes he genuinely can't sleep and stays up later reading or having a snack. That is rare, and fine.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:No electronics in the bedroom (we allow a CD player & radio so DCs can listen to music).

DCs have to be in their bedrooms from midnight to 6am because those are sleeping hours in our house - wandering around disturbs other people. No staying up all hours making snacks or watching TV.

Time outside each and every day. Exercise each and every day. Without spending time outside and getting exercise, my DCs have a harder time getting to sleep. We also have a recommended "lights out" at 11pm. We don't enforce these unless DCs are crabby and annoying. If they're not getting enough sleep, I put my foot down and insist they go outside / go for a run / turn their lights down at 11pm. Once they're crabby, they're affecting my life and the life of the rest of the family and we need to put some more things in place so they can be pleasant members of the family.[b] If they can stay up all night and never leave the house and be perfectly pleasant? Then they get to make those choices for themselves. Spoiler: They can't. My kids really need sunlight, exercise, and decent sleep.

+1 That's our stance as well. Our children can make their own decisions on most matters -- certainly including bedtime by the time they are teens -- provided that the decisions they make still enable them to meet their obligations and do not cause problems for others. Two of our three teens so far have been definite night owls, and we didn't mind or put in place any restrictions except where necessary to address disruption they were causing to the family. If grades, conduct, and obligations to any groups they have joined are being met, their time is theirs to manage. If not, they're showing that they can't manage their time effectively so we will step in to help.

[Anonymous]

Shut off the wifi at 10:30 and make her give up her phone before bed time.