Own a house then get married

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:stop being greedy. if the relationship didn't work out just leave don't to take everything from the other partner. You said it was "owned" prior. "household expenses" are food and stuff. Just move on.

I'm the OWNER. Not greedy. Protecting MY HOUSE.

If you don't have a prenup, you're likely in for a rude awakening.

This happened to my friend. She bought a house, got married, got divorced. No prenup, despite the fact that we told her to get one.

All the equity that they had built in the house (there was considerable appreciation) was still considered joint, and she had to pay him out to the tune of six figures. There was documented abuse, too. Judge didn't give a flip. Oh, and the "I paid the mortgage out of MY money!" argument was pretty much laughed at, considering that money is fungible. In other words, his paying for "household expenses", groceries and whatnot, freed up her cash to keep and maintain the house. With no prenup or trust, it's likely to be considered one pot.

Yes, we know. He was an unemployed abusive loser who lived on the couch. It's all your money!

Errr. Nope. That's not how it works in the eyes of the law. You picked him! Choose better next time or get a prenup.

[Anonymous]

To be clear ^ I'm referring to the equity in the house from the start date of the marriage.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:To be clear ^ I'm referring to the equity in the house from the start date of the marriage.

We're not married yet, but I have put some much into my house prior to this relationship, and he just moved in. No joint accounts till we're married next summer. I don't want to be the insensitive ass and ask for a prenup while wedding planning, but I want to protect my house and my investment because I just hear so much stuff going wrong with relationships and people getting screwed over. I am almost too practical when it comes to this stuff. I just don't see it being well received by him

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:To be clear ^ I'm referring to the equity in the house from the start date of the marriage.

We're not married yet, but I have put some much into my house prior to this relationship, and he just moved in. No joint accounts till we're married next summer. I don't want to be the insensitive ass and ask for a prenup while wedding planning, but I want to protect my house and my investment because I just hear so much stuff going wrong with relationships and people getting screwed over. I am almost too practical when it comes to this stuff. I just don't see it being well received by him

I am the PP. Excellent that you aren't already married!!!

If that is how you feel - prenup or no wedding. Do you really want to be married to someone who doesn't respect your wishes?

Who earns more? Two of the the most miserable divorcees I know were breadwinner wives who had to pay out their ex-husbands.

Why do you think your request will be poorly received? A consult with a good attorney will help you see all that can go wrong.

[Anonymous]

Worrying about your house in a divorce is planning to fail. Don't marry until you're planning to succeed.

[Anonymous]

If your name is not on the deed, you get nothing. Even if you pay some expenses.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:If your name is not on the deed, you get nothing. Even if you pay some expenses.

Definitely not always true.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:To be clear ^ I'm referring to the equity in the house from the start date of the marriage.

We're not married yet, but I have put some much into my house prior to this relationship, and he just moved in. No joint accounts till we're married next summer. I don't want to be the insensitive ass and ask for a prenup while wedding planning, but I want to protect my house and my investment because I just hear so much stuff going wrong with relationships and people getting screwed over. I am almost too practical when it comes to this stuff. I just don't see it being well received by him

I think the thing you have to think about is how you're going to handle the increased equity and appreciation that occurs during the time you're married.

I'd feel him out by mentioning that you know such and such friend and you were amazed that he or she lost their separate property acquired before the marriage when they got divorced.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Worrying about your house in a divorce is planning to fail. Don't marry until you're planning to succeed.

You are an idiot.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:To be clear ^ I'm referring to the equity in the house from the start date of the marriage.

We're not married yet, but I have put some much into my house prior to this relationship, and he just moved in. No joint accounts till we're married next summer. I don't want to be the insensitive ass and ask for a prenup while wedding planning, but I want to protect my house and my investment because I just hear so much stuff going wrong with relationships and people getting screwed over. I am almost too practical when it comes to this stuff. I just don't see it being well received by him

I think the thing you have to think about is how you're going to handle the increased equity and appreciation that occurs during the time you're married.

I'd feel him out by mentioning that you know such and such friend and you were amazed that he or she lost their separate property acquired before the marriage when they got divorced.

Stupid games. Just tell him you want a prenup regarding the house and that you both need to get lawyers and give a deadline by which to get this done else you are calling off the wedding. Done.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:To be clear ^ I'm referring to the equity in the house from the start date of the marriage.

We're not married yet, but I have put some much into my house prior to this relationship, and he just moved in. No joint accounts till we're married next summer. I don't want to be the insensitive ass and ask for a prenup while wedding planning, but I want to protect my house and my investment because I just hear so much stuff going wrong with relationships and people getting screwed over. I am almost too practical when it comes to this stuff. I just don't see it being well received by him

I think the thing you have to think about is how you're going to handle the increased equity and appreciation that occurs during the time you're married.

I'd feel him out by mentioning that you know such and such friend and you were amazed that he or she lost their separate property acquired before the marriage when they got divorced.

Stupid games. Just tell him you want a prenup regarding the house and that you both need to get lawyers and give a deadline by which to get this done else you are calling off the wedding. Done.

It doesn't sound like OP is set on calling off the wedding if she doesn't get a prenupt.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:To be clear ^ I'm referring to the equity in the house from the start date of the marriage.

We're not married yet, but I have put some much into my house prior to this relationship, and he just moved in. No joint accounts till we're married next summer. I don't want to be the insensitive ass and ask for a prenup while wedding planning, but I want to protect my house and my investment because I just hear so much stuff going wrong with relationships and people getting screwed over. I am almost too practical when it comes to this stuff. I just don't see it being well received by him

I think the thing you have to think about is how you're going to handle the increased equity and appreciation that occurs during the time you're married.

I'd feel him out by mentioning that you know such and such friend and you were amazed that he or she lost their separate property acquired before the marriage when they got divorced.

Stupid games. Just tell him you want a prenup regarding the house and that you both need to get lawyers and give a deadline by which to get this done else you are calling off the wedding. Done.

It doesn't sound like OP is set on calling off the wedding if she doesn't get a prenupt.

Women lose prenup leverage when they are the ones itching to get married (as opposed to it being more mutual). With people cohabitating before marriage, taking vacations together, and dating for LONG stretches of time before they're engaged (already intertwined social lives, perhaps own a dog together), it seems it usually comes down to the woman pushing for marriage. Good luck getting a guy to sign a prenup if he's not VERY energized about marrying you.