Before a child support order is established, what can I do (if anything)?

[Anonymous]

You can, when you file for support, ask for a temporary support order based on the children's needs not being met.

Support can also be determined as part of a divorce, and you can ask for a temporary support order with that filing too.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I went through this. I was a SAHM who left then STBX started cutting off support to our three kiddos. It was tough going for a while, I applied and received social services, which helped a lot. Point is that we made it through and I didn't even have a source of income. It stinks, but you'll make it through. Just keep your financial belt tight until your CS is in place. And after the divorce was done I opted to have CS collected through CSE, it did take a few months before receiving that first payment. GL!

Thank you so much. This is OP. My STBX was a dirtbag to me but I seriously never thought the would do anything like this. Doesn't he care about my being able to pay the bills where his kids live? Food?? He won't answer my questions about anything directly. Since I posted the OP he's given me another $130. I just can't believe this.

To top it off, my mother was giving me grief today about how our beach vacation is "ruined" because she just wanted a happy family situation. I'm so angry I could scream.

But thank you for the hope. I'm applying for social services this week. Glad you're doing well now and thank you for the encouragement.

[Anonymous]

^Rock on, OP. Sorry about your Mom. It sucks when our parents aren't there for us. You recognize her response - just pretend everything is fine - is probably an attitude you absorbed from her that allowed you to get into a relationship with a guy who would do this. I am not blaming the victim; I myself had to think hard about how I ended up in an abusive relationship.

But, think about it like this - you are breaking intergenerational patterns by standing up for yourself and refusing to pretend that everything is OK. Your kids will not grow up with the instinct to go along with abusive spouses. All of you will have good lives; better, eventually, than if you had stayed.

[Anonymous]

OP, if you are the sole parent to young children, how do you have time to post multiple threads a day? What are your kids doing while you are being a drama llama?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP, if you are the sole parent to young children, how do you have time to post multiple threads a day? What are your kids doing while you are being a drama llama?

Please JUST.GO.AWAY! Troll!! Who are you to dictate how or where the OP finds her support.

9:34 here - OP I'm glad you found my post encouraging, I know I sure needed a lot of that a few years ago as I went through. There were a couple of years where my kids could not do enrichment activities and it was hard for me to say no. I chose not to throw my ex under the bus, but they started putting the pieces together when they went for visits. They would say things like " Daddy's rich!", I never said a word. After getting angry about something silly he has recently started slow paying again. But since we have a CSE case I'm not too concerned about going months without payment because he has a professional license that he'd put in jeopardy if he goes more than 30 days without payment.