| This thread is bananas. |
Have you actually asked your wife or are you speculating? |
Over time we have talked and she knows there is zero chance of that I would ever want a life with the ex. |
Who ARE you people?????? Doing it again is a HUGE deal. Would you want your wife to do her ex again??? Multiple times? WTF. |
LOL !!! |
| If you are in a relationship, sex with an ex is cheating as is sex with anyone else. If you are not in a relationship you are simply a desperate horn dog looking to get laid. |
| My ex cheated on me, I divorced him and he eventually married his AP. Within a year he was miserable apparently due to his new wife losing interest in sex soon after they married. While on the phone with me talking about our kids he started hinting about our "hooking up" given I wasn't dating and we had had a good sex life. I told him that he had already wrecked one marriage and that I was happy for him. Are other ex's that stupid? |
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I know an easy way for the OPs to resolve this: I think they should go to their own DHs or DWs and ask THEM if one is worse than the other. Then they'd know how the real people in their lives would feel if they went one way or the other, which certainly is the most relevant opinions for their situation?
Me, cheating is cheating. If there is a gradation and one version is worse than the other, they're still both waaaaaay deep down the slope of awful, so the difference in how awful is not meaningful. But how bout it OPs? Why not bring your question to your own significant others and let us know what they say? |
It's not that other ex's are that stupid, it's that other women are often that desperate or have such low self-esteem they think this is a victory. But unquestionably the sensible, best response to an ex hinting that is exactly what you basically said (if not exact words): "You ruined your chances with me. I'm not that dumb or that self-loathing. Grow up and man up: deal with your shit with your current wife." |
That doesn't answer the question. The question is: Have you asked your current wife specifically "If I had sex with my ex next week, would that bother you? What if I had sex sporadically on an ongoing basis with her, would that bother you?" Have you specifically asked your wife that? |
I already said..."wife would be pissed" and it seems to me that qualifies as being more than bothered. As to would she also feel threatened and the answer to that is no. Recap...sex with ex, pissed, sex with stranger/acquaintance, pissed and threatened. |