Importance of Being Thin in Dating?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:If you're confident, it doesn't matter what you weigh. Do what it takes to feel good about yourself. Internally or externally. If you don't, you will find people who treat you badly.

OP is not confident though. She is very self conscious of her weight and also recently divorced. My advice to OP would be to spend some time on herself - not just by getting on track with losing weight, but also just learning who she is as a 40 year old divorcee. There's a huge shift in identity after the end of a marriage.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Online dating can be brutal no matter your weight. But being even a little heavy will get you overlooked by many. In person meetings it's prob less of an issue.

Guy : I agree, both sexes can be brutal. But there is nothing is more deflating than meeting someone who is over 100lbs heavier than you thought she was. I am no longer willing to meet anyone who only includes face shots.

[Anonymous]

Start dating now. It doesn't make sense to put off dating waiting for yourself to do something you may never do.

Lose the weight for yourself.

[Anonymous]

There is nothing "wrong" with being overweight. You are obviously aware this does limit your dating options. Lot's of people (men AND women) would not date somebody who is overweight. And you know what? That's perfectly fine to have a preference like that.

Do NOT lose any weight that you don't 100% commit to keep off. The WORST thing you could ever do is to get thin, attract a mate, then gain it all back. That's called "false advertising" and is unfair to both of you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Online dating can be brutal no matter your weight. But being even a little heavy will get you overlooked by many. In person meetings it's prob less of an issue.

Guy : I agree, both sexes can be brutal. But there is nothing is more deflating than meeting someone who is over 100lbs heavier than you thought she was. I am no longer willing to meet anyone who only includes face shots.

I meant initial meeting in person. Like meet some one in the wild not online.

[Anonymous]

It will be significantly more difficult. I've been a single parent for almost 10 years now and I can say the sole common factor amongst those who remarried was their general "hotness" Not all, but most. Online dating just really thrives on judging a book by it's cover. With that said, I'm not overweight and I still haven't found anyone to partner with. But I would say I've had plenty of options, whereas overweight women are going to have to spend more time emailing, etc.

[Anonymous]

I am tall and I gained 50 lbs during my divorce. I am still dating, because it prompts me to make better decisions. I am down 20 lbs of that. I worked out a lot over this weekend before a date. Met a nice guy. I hope he was okay with it. We have a second date planned this weekend. But I was back at the gym wrking my butt off this morning. He was warm and strong and he kissed me. It felt awesome.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It will be significantly more difficult. I've been a single parent for almost 10 years now and I can say the sole common factor amongst those who remarried was their general "hotness" Not all, but most. Online dating just really thrives on judging a book by it's cover. With that said, I'm not overweight and I still haven't found anyone to partner with. But I would say I've had plenty of options, whereas overweight women are going to have to spend more time emailing, etc.

I love how you are a woman that has supposedly not tried dating while being overweight, but know what an overweight woman might have to do to attract a man

OP, I have dated since my divorce and have been overweight the entire time. I am pretty confident though so that might be the difference. I think you should not lose the weight JUST do you could have a better prospect of finding a date. You'll find a date either way. I do think you should try to take better care of yourself because it will increase your self-confidence. This has nothing to do with men. This is just for you

[Anonymous]

I was 39 and 40 lbs overweight when I dated online (first time in my life I did online dating). I was somewhat terrified.

I had a great experience. I'm active, enthusiastic, well-educated, and these were traits that worked well.

I'm sure there were men who would not consider me because of my weight and who thus never contacted me. Fine.

Plenty of high quality men did contact me and I met an amazing person. I dated mostly active, fit men with good jobs. A few were overweight, too.

Many thin people have horrible online dating experiences. There are many ways people discriminate (race, etc.).

Use flattering, representative photos. When men contact you, you'll know that you passed the initial screen. Online is excellent because it allows for people to screen for all kinds of initial things.

Go have fun. Don't take things personally. I never had a bad experience due to weight. There are mismatches and weird experiences--but that's people for you. Overall it had a lot of fun moments and was a big learning experience about myself and what I want. Go for it!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You mean "American thin" or "rest of the world thin"?

Because here most people are overweight, so being normal weight makes you look thin.

+1

Size twelve here and just moved back from Europe. Felt like a whale there but feel downright svelte here! It's crazy.

[Anonymous]

My sister is easily 100 pounds overweight, and she's never had a problem finding dates. She's got the pretty face, the nice hair, she's very funny and outgoing, but she's obsese. She knows it, I know it, it's pretty much self explanatory. She's married now, but she did online dating and find lots of,boyfriends this way. However they weren't really always high quality. A few seemed to be playing the field, others couldn't get their act together with life (living at home with parents, didn't have steady job) and others wouldn't commit. She seemed to put up with more than I thought she should, and I guess it came down to her lack of self esteem. She ended up meeting a super nice and normal guy the old fashion way, through friends at a party and now they're married with kids. So yes, there are great men out there who date over weight women, but be careful online. And why not try to get healthier, I really wish my sister would, especially for her kids.

[Anonymous]

37 year old male. It is all about how you carry your weight. Buy close that fit regardless of size.

Skinny doesn't do much for me. But I know of lot of men disagree with me.

[Anonymous]

OP, you are looking for one guy who appreciates you as you are and is a great fit. That's all it takes. Even if it's 1/100, they're out there. Go find the ones that are compatible with you.

[Anonymous]

Yes and stay thin

[Anonymous]

Lose the weight.