Very demanding new job and parenting an 11 yr old

[Anonymous]

OP. Take stock every so often and be ready to adjust. My kid ended up having some problems in high school. it was very demanding of our time. Be kind to your husband. If he ends up picking up all the slack for something like that, it will be hard and lonely for him. Just remember to reflect every so often and adjust.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Congratulations! I think it bodes well for your family since you are already thinking about it.

I have never been in your shoes but I would encourage you to put aside time for three things: you (private/quiet time), you and your husband (date night or even date hour), you and your daughter (bake cupcakes, go to get a bagel and coffee, etc). The times don't have to be a lot so think quality not quantity. You will have a lot of demands on your time but make sure you eeck out a little time for the people you love!

Also, get a house cleaning service because you will not want to waste your time cleaning when you could be relaxing.

Good luck in your new job!

Perfectly said, ditto!

[Anonymous]

I have to agree with the outsource suggestions, at our most demanding time we had a house manager full time to maintain the house, manage contractors like, run errands and take care of car stuff and grocery shopping. A tutor for academic enrichment 1x per week, someone who did laundry only 1x/week and biweekly house cleaning team. This was with four kids not one, and biglaw job and a flexible 9-5 (maximum) job for the other parent with no travel by either parent. That is what it took to ensure that all parent time nit consumed by work was committed to the kids, not dealing with other house-related tasks. Also as you make this transition you may want to decline all social invitations for a month or two to give your family more time together evenings and weekends.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My tips are:

Make time on the weekends to spend time with your child. My work schedule is much better now, but dd and I still have a standing Saturday lunch date, just the two of us.

Try to make as many school events as possible, even if it's hard. I missed a grand total of one event, and dd still remembers.

Take your dc into the office, so they can see what you do. My dd loved going to work with me, and was (and is) very proud of my accomplishments.

The hardest part will be making time for yourself. I found I was getting very little sleep because the middle of the night was my only time to read and have some quiet time, and I need that.

You think your children are "proud of your accomplishments?" As in, the time you spent away from them, racking up points at the office, they feel happy to say "oh, it's OK that mom missed my (fill in the multiple blanks), she is such a big wig at XYZ, so it's all OK because she is so happy and fulfilled?"

You're only kidding yourself.

I don't feel the need to defend my choices to you. I'm perfectly happy with how my life has worked out, and my dc is very happy, too. I would note that, whatever your choices are, they seem to have left you very angry and defensive. Maybe you should rethink them?

I too am a working parent, but i think the delivery was harsh, but the message spot on. Call a spade a spade. Life is about give and take and you definitely lose something in return for a big job. your children wont be proud. A job to them is a job.

+100
Many parents justify their long hours by saying how "proud" their kids are of them, but that's simply wishful thinking. The reality is that kids just want more time with their parents. Period. Leaning in to one thing obviously means leaning away from something else. It's simple physics.

[Anonymous]

I actually don't care if my child is proud of my work accomplishments or not. If he wants to go to college and stay in private school (which he does), my working this hard is imperative.