Was I wrong and how do I get over him?

[Anonymous]

You haven't been on a date in 10 years?

Your problem is you read way too much into this.

Cut contact.

Get therapy.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You got taken by a loser. Cut him off and move on.

Your bias is showing. This woman had a long term relationship with the man before becoming intimate. The man shared all kinds of details about his life. She KNEW what he was like. Entered a relationship with all that knowledge and yet she got taken by a loser?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You got taken by a loser. Cut him off and move on.

Your bias is showing. This woman had a long term relationship with the man before becoming intimate. The man shared all kinds of details about his life. She KNEW what he was like. Entered a relationship with all that knowledge and yet she got taken by a loser?

She is not upset with any of his dealings with other women. He was an ass by almost getting her into trouble at work and disappearing. Friends don't do that to friends.

[Anonymous]

Does his last name start with a Z? He sounds familiar.

[Anonymous]

He acts like that because he's an emotional train wreck. I have a former colleague and good friend who is EXACTLY like that. He confessed to me that I was his "work crush," meanwhile he would regale me with stories of his various girlfriends, always more than one at a time.
My advice is to let it go. Let the friendship go. It's sad that it turned out this way, but there was no future for you with him (friendship or otherwise) once you made it romantic.
Guys like this move back and forth between friendship and sex with no problem. Obviously not healthy.

[Anonymous]

get some help - therapy/counseling. your self esteem is basically zero if you actually fell for this guy despite knowing everything about his behavior.

simply dumfounded why women continue to behave (i.e., sleeping with assholes) in such a way condones such shitty behavior.

this makes the old adage true - alphas f*ck.

[Anonymous]

You made a bad choice getting involved in this relationship, given what you knew about this guy. But now it is over. Let the situation go and focus on maintaining a professional relationship for the remainder of the time you have to work with him. Don't cover for him any more at work and communicate with him about work over your work email as much as possible to make sure there is a record of what he is accountable for taking care of.

[Anonymous]

I agree with pp's and may even let my superior know what happened. It's going to happen. Own your part in it. But if you delegated tasks to him and he didn't do them and used your relationship to justify any of it, throw him in the fire. Screw that guy.

[Anonymous]

OP, what do women, including you see in this guy?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP, what do women, including you see in this guy?

Attention.

They think they'll be the one to change him-even if they deny it.

[Anonymous]

OP I am sorry this happened. I think you are suffering from low self esteem and he was a spark in an otherwise uneventful social life.

Move on and try not to dwell on it. And maybe get some cognitive therapy for a limited time - 3 months should do it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP I am sorry this happened. I think you are suffering from low self esteem and he was a spark in an otherwise uneventful social life.

Move on and try not to dwell on it. And maybe get some cognitive therapy for a limited time - 3 months should do it.

Thank you, this about sums it up. His number has been blocked and the next step is therapy. For those who asked me why I did it? He was the best boyfriend I never had who showed up after I hadn't been asked on a date in 10 years. It was nice to have someone check on me at all hours of the day. Someone who made every effort to boost my self esteem and tried to jump in and play the man role whenever it was necessary. Letters, poems, romantic experiences. Well it's over now and time to move on. I appreciate all the tough love. The work situation has been handled via management. I was able to make good progress during his absence using a different resource.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP I am sorry this happened. I think you are suffering from low self esteem and he was a spark in an otherwise uneventful social life.

Move on and try not to dwell on it. And maybe get some cognitive therapy for a limited time - 3 months should do it.

Thank you, this about sums it up. His number has been blocked and the next step is therapy. For those who asked me why I did it? He was the best boyfriend I never had who showed up after I hadn't been asked on a date in 10 years. It was nice to have someone check on me at all hours of the day. Someone who made every effort to boost my self esteem and tried to jump in and play the man role whenever it was necessary. Letters, poems, romantic experiences. Well it's over now and time to move on. I appreciate all the tough love. The work situation has been handled via management. I was able to make good progress during his absence using a different resource.

In other words, he told you what you wanted to hear. I have a feeling it will be way before ten years that you meet someone who is suitable and is excited to be with you.