Quiet tween - first time at sleepaway camp

[Anonymous]

Thanks for the good advice. I really only hear from her briefly once a day, there's a rest time where they're allowed to use their phone, the camp phone or text for a short period of time (30min). At the time it seem like a good compromise since it was her first time away at camp. ( She stayed away from home for two or three weeks traveling with grandparents, and twice has gone on long trips with friends and their families. ) So it was more that she didn't know anyone, but now I see that the limited outside contact I thought was a good thing may be preventing her from engaging as much as she could.

While she's bummed she's not connecting with anyone, she's not saying she's home sick, and she's not asking to go home. Psalmist halfway done at this point. There still time for something to click.

[Anonymous]

Sorry about the AutoCorrect – psalmist should be its almost

[Anonymous]

No advice. Just wanted to say I hope your DD end soon up having enjoyed it. I also have a quiet tween DS and we have talked about camp. I was never a camp kid but I am pretty sure my son would LOVE the activity aspect of camp if he could get comfortable with the social aspect. I was a counselor at a sleep away camp and saw both the pluses and the drawbacks.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:No advice. Just wanted to say I hope your DD end soon up having enjoyed it. I also have a quiet tween DS and we have talked about camp. I was never a camp kid but I am pretty sure my son would LOVE the activity aspect of camp if he could get comfortable with the social aspect. I was a counselor at a sleep away camp and saw both the pluses and the drawbacks.

Sorry. Ends up having a good time.

[Anonymous]

This is OP again – thank you for the support and kind words. I feel the same way as the prior poster - if my daughter could just connect with someone and make a friend there, she would really love the camp experience. She loves the outdoors she plays her favorite sport every day, and she said great things about the activities. She has a very nice and relatively diverse group of friends from school and church and activities at home. I guess I was overly optimistic that she would be able to click with some of the other kids right away. I will remain positive though because these things can turn around quickly.

[Anonymous]

You might want to look for a camp that doesn't allow electronics. The immediacy of the communication would make many parents hop in their cars to pick up their unhappy, bored and/or homesick kids right away. My son wrote me a letter (his first letter to me ever) during his second year of camp and he wrote that he hated it and wanted to come home. I emailed the director that day and asked if he could find out what the problem was from his counselor. He emailed me back the next day that a horse had stepped on my son's foot and he was fine. That was what prompted him to write a letter about how he wanted to come home. When I picked him up, he laughed it off and said he had almost forgotten about that. By the time I got the letter (heck, by the time the letter was mailed), that was old news. If he had texted me that he hated it and wanted to come home, it would've turned into something when it was really nothing. Anyway, something to think about.

[Anonymous]

I agree with others that this camp allows too much electronics/phone use. Quiet time is when my quiet DD has made her closest friends, through playing cards or other games when there isn't the normal camp hubbub. If everyone is on their phones during that time, it's much harder to make friends.

[Anonymous]

Yes, it does seem in retrospect that even a little bit electronic communication can get in the way of making friends. It's good to know if she decides to try camp again next year! There are plenty of camps that have a no electronics policy. Any rate, it is what it is for this year, and I appreciate all the good thoughts and encouragement for my daughter as she tries to make new friends.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You might want to look for a camp that doesn't allow electronics. The immediacy of the communication would make many parents hop in their cars to pick up their unhappy, bored and/or homesick kids right away. My son wrote me a letter (his first letter to me ever) during his second year of camp and he wrote that he hated it and wanted to come home. I emailed the director that day and asked if he could find out what the problem was from his counselor. He emailed me back the next day that a horse had stepped on my son's foot and he was fine. That was what prompted him to write a letter about how he wanted to come home. When I picked him up, he laughed it off and said he had almost forgotten about that. By the time I got the letter (heck, by the time the letter was mailed), that was old news. If he had texted me that he hated it and wanted to come home, it would've turned into something when it was really nothing. Anyway, something to think about.

Exactly. No electronics. That was part of the whole appeal of sleepaway camp for us.

[Anonymous]

This is OP. Thanks again for the advice and encouragement. I reached out to the camp Director to let him know what I was hearing and he put me in touch with her counselor. Both were very kind and appreciated that I had said something. They assured me they could "help" in a way that was subtle and nonthreatening to the teen social radar. Whether it was their help or just the passing of time, things are going better. On Sunday, she mentioned going back next year when camp starts and staying longer to get to know more kids. No word from her since!

I agree that electronics are getting in the way, and next year if she attends camp she will go phone-free.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This is OP. Thanks again for the advice and encouragement. I reached out to the camp Director to let him know what I was hearing and he put me in touch with her counselor. Both were very kind and appreciated that I had said something. They assured me they could "help" in a way that was subtle and nonthreatening to the teen social radar. Whether it was their help or just the passing of time, things are going better. On Sunday, she mentioned going back next year when camp starts and staying longer to get to know more kids. No word from her since!

I agree that electronics are getting in the way, and next year if she attends camp she will go phone-free.

NP. Awesome news! I am so glad it is looking up for your daughter!

[Anonymous]

I think that's fine. I went to camp when I was 12 and while I was social and enjoyed the sports/activities/etc. I didn't really make any close friends. But I still had a good time.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This is OP. Thanks again for the advice and encouragement. I reached out to the camp Director to let him know what I was hearing and he put me in touch with her counselor. Both were very kind and appreciated that I had said something. They assured me they could "help" in a way that was subtle and nonthreatening to the teen social radar. Whether it was their help or just the passing of time, things are going better. On Sunday, she mentioned going back next year when camp starts and staying longer to get to know more kids. No word from her since!

I agree that electronics are getting in the way, and next year if she attends camp she will go phone-free.

Great news!

Your DD sounds pretty terrific, by the way. She knew camp might be a little challenging, but she wanted to take a risk and put herself in a new situation that might push her boundaries a bit. To me, that speaks volumes about her confidence in herself and her sense of the support she's getting at home. Good for her!!

[Anonymous]

My DD seems similar to OP's. In the comment section of the pre-camp forms where they ask what they should know about your child, I write a note saying that she is slow to make new friends and that she would benefit from having a counselor try to facilitate some relationships with other campers at the outset.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This is OP. Thanks again for the advice and encouragement. I reached out to the camp Director to let him know what I was hearing and he put me in touch with her counselor. Both were very kind and appreciated that I had said something. They assured me they could "help" in a way that was subtle and nonthreatening to the teen social radar. Whether it was their help or just the passing of time, things are going better. On Sunday, she mentioned going back next year when camp starts and staying longer to get to know more kids. No word from her since!

I agree that electronics are getting in the way, and next year if she attends camp she will go phone-free.

Great news!

Your DD sounds pretty terrific, by the way. She knew camp might be a little challenging, but she wanted to take a risk and put herself in a new situation that might push her boundaries a bit. To me, that speaks volumes about her confidence in herself and her sense of the support she's getting at home. Good for her!!

Thank you for the praise of my DD! It made my day to read your kind words.