Parents of 3+ kids, how is there "enough" of you to go around?

[Anonymous]

I see this a lot. There seems to be an idea that parental attention is a zero-sum game. If you have 2 kids, each kid gets 50%, and 3 kids then 33%, and if 4 kids, 25%. One child gets mom/dad's attention and the other children lose out. But that's not how it works in reality. In reality, perhaps there is less 1:1 time with me, but the rest of time, they get to play with their siblings, and sibling play is more like peer playtime. Let's be honest, Mom simply doesn't love pretend play like my kids do, and I can't do it all day without losing my mind.

Playing with siblings is simply fun. My kids love to have 1:1 time with me, but honestly, if given the choice of going to the grocery store with me or playing with their siblings, chances are, they choose to play with each other.

So yes, they get less attention but they get so much more from each other than what they lose from me.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I see this a lot. There seems to be an idea that parental attention is a zero-sum game. If you have 2 kids, each kid gets 50%, and 3 kids then 33%, and if 4 kids, 25%. One child gets mom/dad's attention and the other children lose out. But that's not how it works in reality. In reality, perhaps there is less 1:1 time with me, but the rest of time, they get to play with their siblings, and sibling play is more like peer playtime. Let's be honest, Mom simply doesn't love pretend play like my kids do, and I can't do it all day without losing my mind.

Playing with siblings is simply fun. My kids love to have 1:1 time with me, but honestly, if given the choice of going to the grocery store with me or playing with their siblings, chances are, they choose to play with each other.

So yes, they get less attention but they get so much more from each other than what they lose from me.

Love this. I feel similarly.

[Anonymous]

We have five. 27, 25, 23, 21, and 17. I feel like they got plenty of attention. (It's actually a little harder now that they are adults.) I was a SAHM. Having a parent at home makes all the difference. And as others have said, most of the kids I see are getting way, way too much attention.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:We have five. 27, 25, 23, 21, and 17. I feel like they got plenty of attention. (It's actually a little harder now that they are adults.) I was a SAHM. Having a parent at home makes all the difference. And as others have said, most of the kids I see are getting way, way too much attention.

That's impressive. I'm tired with just two kids that have a two year age gap! Being at home with them when they were little probably helped a lot to give them what they need.

[Anonymous]

*needed