Fiancee's (social media) friends say I'm "ugly"

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:How old are all of you?

I can't imagine EVER saying anything like that about my friends' spouses, certainly not to them or in a social media posting. Do I think all of them are attractive? Of course not. But I'd certainly never say that. You need to watch and see how she reacts to it, and if she doesn't, point it out to her and then see. If she blows it off, that should tell you a lot about her, her character, and her friends. And nothing good.

Whether you actually are attractive or not is completely irrelevant.

+1000

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Are you ugly?

NP, and do you honestly think this matters? Even if the OP is not attractive, do you really think it is okay for people to be commenting on his appearance, especially in a public manner in which he described?

OP I am sorry that this happened to you, I definitely think that the way in which your fiance responds is really important here... I would ask her directly about it. The "friends" who are making these comments are not nice people and if she considers them good friends and does not stand up for you I would take that as a major red flag.

[Anonymous]

You need new social media. My social media is full of compliments to anyone posting a personal or a family picture, even if pictures are not flattering. "Looking good!", "Great!", "How elegant!", "Looking happy!", "Thumbs up!", etc.

[Anonymous]

My DIL is ugly. She looks like a muppet.

When my son asked if I thought she was cute I had to bite my tongue hard, very hard. We live in a different state so I dob't have to see her but damn she's not attractive at all.

[Anonymous]

If you are marrying this person, you should be able to have an honest conversation about your feelings. She should unfriend anyone who would be so cruel.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My DIL is ugly. She looks like a muppet.

When my son asked if I thought she was cute I had to bite my tongue hard, very hard. We live in a different state so I dob't have to see her but damn she's not attractive at all.

What does this have to do with OP's situation?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Are you sure they aren't joking. The only times I have seen things like that was when a man or woman they were with was very attractive and the comments were dripping with sarcasm

no. The comments are between people that say, for example, I didn't expect her to marry a movie star type but he is so ugly...

That's really awful. Seriously, how old are the people making those comments? Not that age excuses it, but it sounds unbelievably immature. I can't even imagine my 12 yr old saying that.

+1 My 12 year old would know better. Are you making this up, OP? Because I truly cannot imagine anyone saying this on social media, in such a public way, with their name attached. Not can I imagine a friend behaving in such a manner. If you aren't a troll, wtf is up with your fiancées choice of friends? Such an odd situation.

[Anonymous]

I have a hard time believing anyone would do this and be serious. Who would think that people about to get married down follow each other on social media?

So if this is somehow true, you need to discuss it with your fiancee. If you can't discuss this, your marriage won't last.

If this is a troll, it's dumb.

[Anonymous]

After I broke up with one guy all my friends told me he was ugly, but no friend would say that while you're still together. That is also an insult to your fiancée. Does she have like a thousand FB friends and missed the comment? It's very strange she didn't react at all.

[Anonymous]

"As a guy I can imagine that if I started getting feedback about my gf/fiancée/wife that she was ugly... I would cut ties but also... it might start making me wonder. Say what you will but feedback has an impact."

I hope you meant you *wouldn't* cut ties?

Are your wife's friends from another culture where people are more free to say these things?

[Anonymous]

If she has friends like that, and it wasn't a one off comment from an acquaintance who she immediately unfriended, I would seriously question her character.

Extraordinarily immature and petty.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My DIL is ugly. She looks like a muppet.

When my son asked if I thought she was cute I had to bite my tongue hard, very hard. We live in a different state so I dob't have to see her but damn she's not attractive at all.

Hi Tip's Mom!!

[Anonymous]

OP, please answer how your fiancée reacted online.

Did she "like" the comments or delete them all??

[Anonymous]

Are you both foreigners? Sounds like whatever culture you are in, this is socially acceptable. No mattee thr age, in America this is culturally extremely rude and highly unusual.

[Anonymous]

You are probably not conventionally handsome, but she loves you and is marrying you. That should be enough. Not everyone is beautiful/handsome, and if love and marriage was only reserved for the beautiful, most of us would be screwed. You are an entire person, your physical looks is just one part of you, and she chose that entire package. So ignore the social media commentary, be confident in your love for each other and definitely don't set her up on a ridiculous mission to defend your beauty.