How to avoid/deal with emotional/verbal/mental abuse while creating exit plan.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:In my case it escalated dramatically once I told him the marriage was on the rocks. Because of his financial control I did not have the means to move out so he forced me to stay in the house and even share the same bedroom during the entire separation, until I got my share of the assets a few weeks after the divorce. The verbal and emotional abuse during those years of legal separation was extreme and escalated into physically threatening behavior as well. it's even worse now that he can't control me financially or in other ways. He still needs to control me and tries to do so by belittling me and withholding child support, consent for things for the kids, etc...

It is easier to ignore now, though.

That's why you don't tell him you're leaving until you are ready to walk out the door. You decide for yourself, you create a plan/timeline with the help of professionals (legal, financial, and otherwise), and you execute your plan. The last step of your plan should be telling your spouse it's over.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:1. Do NOT cheat, date, be "just friends," hook-up, etc. None of it. Another man's arms might be exactly what you need. But WAIT. It can and will be used against you. Just don't do it.
2. Don't discuss the situation with friends and family. Talk to a therapist if possible to help identify and process your emotions.
3. Take care of yourself physically. Join a gym and work on your physical shape. This will give you something to focus on and build your strength both mentally and physically. Hard exercise can do wonders for your stress. Plus you will look good!
4. Avoid arguments with DH. Keep conversation to a minimum. Do not make communication a priority. I am guessing that ship has sailed.
5. Get organized. The more you are prepared the better you will feel from one day to the next. Keep in mind the goal: getting out.
6. Focus on you not on him.
- signed,
BTST

This exactly. I went through this 20 years ago

[Anonymous]

I'm always shocked when women tell a abusive man it's over.

Best to act like your working on things, and when things are in place get far away.