My 8 year old doesn't care about being potty trained

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If you think he has the capacity and it isn't a medical issue or a psychological issue, then you need to be firmer. it doesn't matter if he doesn't care. I would not take him anywhere out of the house, nothing fun, no activities, no friends. He can be bored at home until he can manage basic bathroom habits.

I would also start taking him to the bathroom every hour. Have an alarm that goes off that says bathroom time and he needs to sit on the toilet for 10 minutes every hour. Turn off whatever game he is playing or show he is watching. Nothing happens until he does bathroom time. Keep this up until no more accidents.

No. Don't do this. This is the wrong way to approach potty training for any kid but especially for a SN kid.

OP,

When you say your kid is "fine" at school, does this mean he will poop at school or just hold it. Does your kid have an IEP? Does he work with a behavioral therapist? Have you incorporated toilet training into the IEP?

Have a toilet schedule at home (pictures or times listed). He goes upon waking b/f leaving the house. This would probably every 3-4 hours for most kids his age. For pooping on the toilet, find a bribe that will motivate your kid to sit on the toilet--points, praise, an M&M. He gets a point for sitting--not necessarily doing anything. Also, the ideal times to get the elimination reflex going are after a meal sitting for 5-10 minutes. Not longer b/c that can make a kid constipated, which he may already be and why he doesn't want to sit.

That's why you need to start small. After dinner and breakfast during the week, he gets a small reward for just sitting on the toilet. Include after lunch on weekends. Doesn't matter if he doesn't do anything. Eventually you will get there. (You may also want to buy a squatty potty to help him to poop.)

Why would the school incorporate toilet training into his IEP when he is toilet trained at school. The problem is home where there doesn't seem to be any consequence for pooing in his pants. Do you have any idea how hard it us to clean a 8 year old who has poo accidents 4 times in one day. And do all that laundry? OP- listen to the poster who said sit him on the toilet every hour he is at home.

[Anonymous]

The op didn't really said he was toilet trained only that he was 'fine' that could mean anything. Having a kid who doesn't even want to sit, sit EVERY HOUR on the toilet will at best just prolong periods between accidents or drive OP even more crazy by trying to adress something even less helpfully.

[Anonymous]

Have you already gone the pediatric gastroenterologist route? My first thought is that this is something like encopresis where laughter or blowing it off is a coping mechanism for the lack of control.

It could obviously be 100% behavioral, but that's so hard for me to picture that I can't help looking for a physiological cause. My son definitely presented as being 'too busy' to get to the bathroom, but turned out to have encopresis

[Anonymous]

OP, trying to say this delicately as I know this is not something any mother wants to think of, but please consider possible sexual abuse.

[Anonymous]

My gut reaction is he needs a psychologist.

My thought reading everyone else's responses is maybe he has an anatomical/medical reason why it's a challenge. Get a squatty potty and see if that speeds things up/makes it tolerable for him. Maybe the reason he does it away from the toilet is the discomfort of sitting and pushing in that position.