Can a marriage counselor actually help with disagreements over discretionary spending?

[Anonymous]

My DH is not controlling in general but has high anxiety about money because of experiences from childhood. Is this possible in your case?
It helps to have counseling because you can both learn to communicate better about money and other issues.

[Anonymous]

It depends on the couple and the counselor. Sometimes the couple is obstinate. Sometimes the counselor is a bad fit and you need a different one. You can't tell in advance if it will help. It probably won't hurt.

[Anonymous]

Definitely try counseling. It might also help to see a financial advisor. I grew up worried about money as did my DH. Having objective input helped us feel more confident and that it was ok to spend some money now as long as we stayed within a budget.

[Anonymous]

You need counseling, a home improvement budget and a realtor to explain how a well taken care of home can make a huge difference when selling.

[Anonymous]

Your DH may think "your car's been in the shop three times in the past six months and I've had to leave work at 2pm four days in that timeframe" and that "Pink toilets still flush, I don't care if some damn interior decorating magazine says the bathroom needs brushed nickel."

Be honest, OP, is this the case?

[Anonymous]

You also don't want a marriage counselor to tell your DH, "Oh you bad boy, you need to do everything your wife says."

You might have to be prepared to hear all the things your DH might be annoyed at about YOU -- and until you declared counseling is the solution to what ails you, he had decided to leave alone.

[Anonymous]

I certainly think a counselor can help, but do you need one? Would your husband be willing to make a list of things he sees as a priority? You make a list, too. Then compare the two and decide on one list together that you can both agree on. This might give each of you some insight as to why some things are on the list or not. I would try this to see if you can come to some type of agreement. Marriage is hard work, but it sounds like you are both willing to work on it! Good luck!