Mother's Day. Feeling slighted.

[Anonymous]

So you guys celebrate on SATURDAY. Make it your own Mother's Day, not a commercial holiday.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:So why didn't you say something last year? I feel like you are just whining to whine, what have you done about it except complain in an anonymous forum? You can't expect him to read your mind. Guys are pretty dense sometimes. How do you handle other issues that come up in your marriage? Sounds like you do not communicate very well with each other.

I didn't say anything last year because he hadn't had a Mother's Day off in 10 years, and felt bad for his mom.

My kids are all under 6, and he's never been here for that Sunday. Its always been just me, like any other day. Last year I was just happy his mom was happy. I never knew I'd feel this way this year.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:He's doing brunch with his mom. Ask him to plan something fun for dinner for you and your family.

Brunch is at 2 and an hour away. Will he really want to eat dinner afterward to appease me? Probably not!

okay, I guess there is no solution! You can just wallow this year.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:He's doing brunch with his mom. Ask him to plan something fun for dinner for you and your family.

Brunch is at 2 and an hour away. Will he really want to eat dinner afterward to appease me? Probably not!

okay, I guess there is no solution! You can just wallow this year.

I know, right? PPs have presented several options, alternatives, ways of discussing, and it's just excuses and complaining from OP.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:So why didn't you say something last year? I feel like you are just whining to whine, what have you done about it except complain in an anonymous forum? You can't expect him to read your mind. Guys are pretty dense sometimes. How do you handle other issues that come up in your marriage? Sounds like you do not communicate very well with each other.

I didn't say anything last year because he hadn't had a Mother's Day off in 10 years, and felt bad for his mom.

My kids are all under 6, and he's never been here for that Sunday. Its always been just me, like any other day. Last year I was just happy his mom was happy. I never knew I'd feel this way this year.

There is no way in hell that you went from happy his mom was happy last year to angry enough to yell at him this year. Stop trying to play the chill wife. Let him know your needs. This is not that complicated.

[Anonymous]

I hate to break it to you, but do you think it's possible he doesn't want to celebrate you?

[Anonymous]

You aren't his mom.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I hate to break it to you, but do you think it's possible he doesn't want to celebrate you?

I doubt it's that. It probably is really as simple as her DH not know what she wants since it's clear she also doesn't know what she wants.

OP, we all have these irrational feelings and desires. I think you should admit that to your DH and laugh about it. Laugh about that fact that you suddenly care about this, and then make a plan with him that's not about blaming him.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I hate to break it to you, but do you think it's possible he doesn't want to celebrate you?

I doubt it's that. It probably is really as simple as her DH not know what she wants since it's clear she also doesn't know what she wants.

OP, we all have these irrational feelings and desires. I think you should admit that to your DH and laugh about it. Laugh about that fact that you suddenly care about this, and then make a plan with him that's not about blaming him.

Op here. Thank you. I actually just apologized and feel much better after posting here.

Not sure what came over me, it was really strange. Your post pulled me back down to Earth. Irrational describes this perfectly.

I do realize now that it WOULD be nice to celebrate in a subtle, low-key way. And until my children are old enough to fascilitate that themselves, it would be nice if he at least helped them acknowledge it.

I am glad I posted, it has helped swing it all written down. Thanks for listening and offering your thoughts!

[Anonymous]

We all know that the Mother's and the Father's Day celebrations usually fall to the spouse to organize.

Like PP's, I think you need to tell him. In a nice way that does not upset his plans with his mom. Also, he is only having one meal with her that leaves a lot of time for him to celebrate with you and the children.

Maybe milk this situation to get a whole weekend away next year?

[Anonymous]

What an unfeeling and insensitive brute.

Tell him that from me, OP.

You go and spend all his money on a treat for yourself, sans him.

[Anonymous]

Glad things are better, OP!

[Anonymous]

This is the conversation we just had in my house. Minutes ago:
Me: I want to go to lunch for Mother's Day next Sunday.
DH: this is a stupid Hallmark holiday. I hate stupid Hallmark holidays
Me: I know you do but it's Mother's Day and I want to go to lunch.
DH: ok. Where do you want to go?
It's really that simple. I want him to want to like Hallmark holidays but it isn't happening. We're still going to lunch because he DOES like and love me and because he knows that it will make me happy. Yes I had to tell him. Who cares? such is the life of an adult.

[Anonymous]

Just tell him that you want to sleep in on Mother's Day while he gets up with the kids and feeds them breakfast. Then, after brunch ask him to pick up some take out dinner for you and the kids on the way home.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You aren't his mom.

She's the mother of his children. So , that counts.