What to do when it feels like your life is crashing and burning?

[Anonymous]

My husband had a business that failed earlier in our marriage. We didn't tell anyone the business "failed". We said we sold the business because we wanted a more stable income, easier lifestyle and that's it. We did sell the car that we used for the business and passed on a couple clients for a modest fee. So we weren't totally lying. But that white lie really helped save my husband's pride and ego... totally worth it.

[Anonymous]

I'm so sorry, OP. Big hugs. My husband lost his job a few weeks ago and didn't tell me (I posted about it yesterday), and I too feel like I can't handle that level of stress again, especially as now we have growing medical needs and a complicated situation.

I think the poster who said to live small may be on to something. Enjoy the little pleasures, especially moments with your children. I also try to stay away from the more dramatic bad news and sad movies, etc.

[Anonymous]

Sending love and hugs op. This may sound really stupid, but when I was going through a really horrible time I repeated "I believe in the wonder and goodness of the universe, I believe in love" over and over again on runs and walks. Strange but very helpful to me.

[Anonymous]

It sounds like you really are going through a lot right now. I’m sorry to hear that you had a bad experience with a therapy group. But if you are open to considering other options, there are organizations that help families in crisis. I have used Focus on the Family in the past and it really helped. They have a ton of online resources to help with all kinds of issues, including health, marriage, financial troubles, unemployment (check out this article at http://bit.ly/2phIRDe) . And they even have a phone number (855-382-5433) you can call to get help finding a counselor in your area. I don't know if you believe in prayer, but I will be saying a prayer for you and your husband that you are able to get the help you need to navigate these challenges.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:A few years ago, DH started a new business. We were at the time very solid financially. We are middle-age and have young children.

Then, I got seriously ill for several months. Friends and family were sympathetic but largely left us alone and avoided talking about my illness. That was incredibly hard, but then thankfully I recovered.

We barely had time to catch our breath when the business started to fail. Now we are working non-stop to try to save it. We are still holding on financially, but are getting into uncomfortable territory for us. We are SO stressed and depleted. On the positive side, thankfully our kids are happy and healthy. (And we largely have our health but this is all taking a toll.) Our marriage is holding together but obviously strained.

I'm trying hard to keep this in perspective and to focus on gratitude. My health scare was MUCH worse, and I know so many families are in much worse, hellish/horrific situations. But I'm so, so tired. I'm just not bouncing back emotionally. Perhaps the toughest part of all this is that we are bearing this burden alone. I have tried therapy in the past but haven't found it to be effective. (Talking for sessions on end with no strategies....I don't particularly want to spend a fortune just to "vent".) There truly is no one with whom I can discuss this, other than DH.

What do you do to keep your chin up? What strategies have you used to recover from a major failure? (Honestly this is a first for us - until now, we have had successful lives/careers.)

I know that this is DCUM but I'd really appreciate it if you'd keep flames to yourself today. I'm reaching out into the ethers hoping for some support and ideas for navigating this. TIA.

Church or faith community? Neighbors/friends?

[Anonymous]

It sounds like you really are going through a lot right now. I’m sorry to hear that you had a bad experience with a therapy group. But if you are open to considering other options, there are organizations that help families in crisis. I have used Focus on the Family in the past and it really helped. They have a ton of online resources to help with all kinds of issues, including health, marriage, financial troubles, unemployment (check out this article at http://bit.ly/2phIRDe) . And they even have a phone number (855-382-5433) you can call to get help finding a counselor in your area. I don't know if you believe in prayer, but I will be saying a prayer for you and your husband that you are able to get the help you need to navigate these challenges.

[Anonymous]

OP here. I am truly overwhelmed by all of your kind and thoughtful responses. You have given wonderful suggestions and resources. Thank you.

[Anonymous]

Focus on the Family run by that zealot James Dobson? Ah, no.