OKCupid: how long to wait for a text/call after giving my number?

[Anonymous]

OP, I think you are experiencing what people call sifting through the chaff. Chatting on the website should be very limited. Look at it as a virtual meeting place where you make eye contact and establish mutual interest to meet in the real world. If that does not happen rather quickly move on. I think there are lots of men who seem to get something out of virtual banter without having any further intentions for a relationship IRL. Waste of your time

[Anonymous]

If he gave you his number, it is completely acceptable for you to text him first.

[Anonymous]

My Okcupid experience: no chatting, meet right away. We meet for a drink (I come earlier and pay for my drink upfront before the guy shows up). Talk a bit, part ways. In a rare case when I like the guy I text him the day after.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:New to this, but after a couple days of messaging through the app, the guy gave me his number, so I replied with mine. This happened Friday, but he hasn reached out yet (on either the app or via phone).We had a good back and forth/he was responding quickly so I'm just wondering what happened and if I should move on? We are both 40s if that matters.

He met someone else or isn't interested. imo don't chase him nor waste oxygen, if he calls he calls otherwise many other prospects out there. Never be desperate to be in a relationship, and be happy by yourself. If you find a wonderful relationship that's great, otherwise you want to carefully check out any potential men you're interested in. A lot of men in their 40's are broke paying child support and lawyers from their first divorce. My friend wasted almost a year on a guy who was still fighting with the ex and had constant court dates. He somehow kept a lot from her until she looked him up after a few red flags. When she did family court case search for their divorce she discovered a order of protection was issued against him.

[Anonymous]

Wait 134 hours, 43 minutes and 23 seconds and then immediately hit the "I'm no longer waiting" button. This is a fact.

[Anonymous]

It's only Tuesday. Relax.

I know some guys intentionally wait a little while before calling so they don't seem like they have no life.

It's also possible that you are one of many women that he was "working" online, and he found someone else. Online dating is very much a numbers game. A lot of men will contact enormous numbers of women because they know that most of them either won't respond, or things just won't work out.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

The last time I dated Bill Clinton

You date Bill Clinton? Wowsers.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This is OP. 17:51 - could you elaborate? I'm past this guy and not interested in fwb, but for future reference I would appreciate your insight. We texted over OkCupid for two days maybe a total of 15 messages, seemed to connect, so I thought the next logical step was getting off the app to phones.

The last time I dated Bill Clinton was pres in his first term and there was no internet. Please, school me and others in the same boat!

I have been online for about 2 months and I still don't understand-I chat with someone back and forward for hours and then the next day nothing... Men say oh we must meet but then nothing... I don't understand!! Should I be more aggressive and suggest meeting myself?

The only time online dating worked for me, I told him we should go out on Friday and picked a time and place. He said he'd talked to a ton of women who would chat for awhile then disappear or cancel the date after a week of messages. He liked he initiative.

Yes, lots of women flake out. Around 20 percent in my experience. But I also hate when a woman sets up the first date. Example: I offer to meet woman from Match for a drink Saturday afternoon. Her reply: I want to go to a wine festival. I check and it's $40 per person. Next!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This is OP. 17:51 - could you elaborate? I'm past this guy and not interested in fwb, but for future reference I would appreciate your insight. We texted over OkCupid for two days maybe a total of 15 messages, seemed to connect, so I thought the next logical step was getting off the app to phones.

The last time I dated Bill Clinton was pres in his first term and there was no internet. Please, school me and others in the same boat!

There was internet. You just didn't have it.

Yep. Internet was great for dating circa 1992. I was a comp sci. grad student and it was so easy to meet women and hook up using the internet. Much harder now (or maybe it's my age?).

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This is OP. 17:51 - could you elaborate? I'm past this guy and not interested in fwb, but for future reference I would appreciate your insight. We texted over OkCupid for two days maybe a total of 15 messages, seemed to connect, so I thought the next logical step was getting off the app to phones.

The last time I dated Bill Clinton was pres in his first term and there was no internet. Please, school me and others in the same boat!

I have been online for about 2 months and I still don't understand-I chat with someone back and forward for hours and then the next day nothing... Men say oh we must meet but then nothing... I don't understand!! Should I be more aggressive and suggest meeting myself?

The only time online dating worked for me, I told him we should go out on Friday and picked a time and place. He said he'd talked to a ton of women who would chat for awhile then disappear or cancel the date after a week of messages. He liked he initiative.

Yes, lots of women flake out. Around 20 percent in my experience. But I also hate when a woman sets up the first date. Example: I offer to meet woman from Match for a drink Saturday afternoon. Her reply: I want to go to a wine festival. I check and it's $40 per person. Next!

Yikes PP! I assume you are financially stable and not a starving student? Wine festival could have been fun but you wouldn't want to spend $40 on her to find out?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Yikes PP! I assume you are financially stable and not a starving student? Wine festival could have been fun but you wouldn't want to spend $40 on her to find out?

Why spend any time or money if it's already not a match. I would cringe at a $40 wine festival. I would cringe at a $0 wine festival too.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Yikes PP! I assume you are financially stable and not a starving student? Wine festival could have been fun but you wouldn't want to spend $40 on her to find out?

Why spend any time or money if it's already not a match. I would cringe at a $40 wine festival. I would cringe at a $0 wine festival too.

It could have been a match, but clearly wasn't after she wanted to dicker over the magnitude first date. It would have been a first face-to-face meeting. Those typically last 30-90 minutes and they are over coffee or drinks. Since it was a weekend, I asked her out for a drink. Her counter offer was a $40 per person wine festival. I expected I'd be paying for both of us ($80). This has happened more than once to me, this was just the most egregious example.

I am a single dad with shared custody. I have to be careful with money and even more careful with time. At best I have time to meet four new women a month. I definitely don't have time for exploitative women who are trying to stretch their entertainment budget at my expense.

[Anonymous]

First dates should be low pressure and also something where it's easy for either party to excuse themselves if the other person isn't what they said they were. First dates should also be about conversation so you can see if you enjoy talking to the other person. Rock climbing on the first date? No, I'd rather go to a group climb and meet a woman there.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This is OP. 17:51 - could you elaborate? I'm past this guy and not interested in fwb, but for future reference I would appreciate your insight. We texted over OkCupid for two days maybe a total of 15 messages, seemed to connect, so I thought the next logical step was getting off the app to phones.

The last time I dated Bill Clinton was pres in his first term and there was no internet. Please, school me and others in the same boat!

I have been online for about 2 months and I still don't understand-I chat with someone back and forward for hours and then the next day nothing... Men say oh we must meet but then nothing... I don't understand!! Should I be more aggressive and suggest meeting myself?

The only time online dating worked for me, I told him we should go out on Friday and picked a time and place. He said he'd talked to a ton of women who would chat for awhile then disappear or cancel the date after a week of messages. He liked he initiative.

Yes, lots of women flake out. Around 20 percent in my experience. But I also hate when a woman sets up the first date. Example: I offer to meet woman from Match for a drink Saturday afternoon. Her reply: I want to go to a wine festival. I check and it's $40 per person. Next!

lol If you can't afford a wine festival you can't afford to date.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:First dates should be low pressure and also something where it's easy for either party to excuse themselves if the other person isn't what they said they were. First dates should also be about conversation so you can see if you enjoy talking to the other person. Rock climbing on the first date? No, I'd rather go to a group climb and meet a woman there.

I would say talk on the phone a few times before the meet so you don't waste your time. After that meet for a drink.