How to keep from feeling embarrased when you get rejected by DH/DW?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My husband had never once rejected my sexual advances. He's happy for any sort of initiation from me. If i told him putting on a fur suit turned me on, he would have sex with me in a fur suit.

Lucky you! Wish I had the same...

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I used to. Then I had a real conversation about it and now if it doesnt happen, I'm fine with it. That said, we have a great sex life (3-4 times a week) and it's not a ton that he turns me down.

My husband turns me down about half the time, and we have sex 3-4 times a month.

Have you gained weight or cut your hair off?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I used to. Then I had a real conversation about it and now if it doesnt happen, I'm fine with it. That said, we have a great sex life (3-4 times a week) and it's not a ton that he turns me down.

My husband turns me down about half the time, and we have sex 3-4 times a month.

Have you gained weight or cut your hair off?

I have gained 20 pounds in 20 years. He's gained 50. Yes, my hair is shorter than when we met.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I used to. Then I had a real conversation about it and now if it doesnt happen, I'm fine with it. That said, we have a great sex life (3-4 times a week) and it's not a ton that he turns me down.

My husband turns me down about half the time, and we have sex 3-4 times a month.

Have you gained weight or cut your hair off?

I have gained 20 pounds in 20 years. He's gained 50. Yes, my hair is shorter than when we met.

God bless you for admitting it

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I used to. Then I had a real conversation about it and now if it doesnt happen, I'm fine with it. That said, we have a great sex life (3-4 times a week) and it's not a ton that he turns me down.

My husband turns me down about half the time, and we have sex 3-4 times a month.

How often do you turn him down?

[Anonymous]

Well I can't think of a time my DH has turned me down. Is he gay? He's turned down BJs?

[Anonymous]

I can't remember that happening but I'm sure it has at some point. I'd just have a good time getting myself off.

[Anonymous]

I definitely feel bad when my DW rejects me. The more I put myself out there, the worse it feels. If I give her a lame, "wanna do it," and she says "no," it's not so bad.

If I come on strong (maybe pushing her up against a wall and kissing her neck or something), and she rejects me, the rejection stings a lot more.

So, I tend to favor the lame initiations which results in more rejection (because they are lame) which reinforces the idea that she's probably going to decline sex when I initiate which makes me more hesitant to initiate in a less lame way. Rinse repeat.

[Anonymous]

I have never turned down a BJ in my life. Then again the last one was about 10 years ago....

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My husband had never once rejected my sexual advances. He's happy for any sort of initiation from me. If i told him putting on a fur suit turned me on, he would have sex with me in a fur suit.

You must be young.

Lol do it and report back!!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Well I can't think of a time my DH has turned me down. Is he gay? He's turned down BJs?

No he's not gay. Yes he has turned down BJs. That sounds crazy I know, which makes me feel even more foolish because its likely the answer is probably that he does want a BJ just not from me. I think we are made to think that men always want sex, so it hurts more to be rejected as a woman. Makes you feel like "well he's a man so he must want sex, just not with you." I can't think this way because I don't want to damage our relationship. So nobody haa any tips for how to get over the embarassment feeling?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I used to. Then I had a real conversation about it and now if it doesnt happen, I'm fine with it. That said, we have a great sex life (3-4 times a week) and it's not a ton that he turns me down.

My husband turns me down about half the time, and we have sex 3-4 times a month.

How often do you turn him down?

Never have in the 24 years I have known him.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I used to. Then I had a real conversation about it and now if it doesnt happen, I'm fine with it. That said, we have a great sex life (3-4 times a week) and it's not a ton that he turns me down.

My husband turns me down about half the time, and we have sex 3-4 times a month.

Have you gained weight or cut your hair off?

I have gained 20 pounds in 20 years. He's gained 50. Yes, my hair is shorter than when we met.

God bless you for admitting it

It doesn't stop other men from hitting on me. I think I give off an sexually open vibe.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My husband had never once rejected my sexual advances. He's happy for any sort of initiation from me. If i told him putting on a fur suit turned me on, he would have sex with me in a fur suit.

You must be young.

I am a man and I'm the same way as the PPs DH. I have never rejected sex when initiated by my wife and I'm 51. I sure as HELL have never rejected a BJ. My wife has also gained weight in the last 26 years as expected and she cut her hair. I've gained weight and my hair has thinned. It's called getting old, it happens to everyone, so what? This has not diminished my desire for her.

Anytime DW wants to try somwthing new, I'm fair game. The wind blows and my dick gets hard. She looks at me and I'm hard. It has nothing to do with "being young" because I'm getting old and my desire hasn't dried up with my skin.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Well I can't think of a time my DH has turned me down. Is he gay? He's turned down BJs?

No he's not gay. Yes he has turned down BJs. That sounds crazy I know, which makes me feel even more foolish because its likely the answer is probably that he does want a BJ just not from me. I think we are made to think that men always want sex, so it hurts more to be rejected as a woman. Makes you feel like "well he's a man so he must want sex, just not with you." I can't think this way because I don't want to damage our relationship. So nobody haa any tips for how to get over the embarassment feeling?

Many do he's just the type of guy who doesn't want to do it when he's tired/stressed or if he's worked out or pooped and doesn't want you down there. Not all guys want it all the time. The embarrassment thing is on you. Just decide not to be embarrassed.