Non-Cheater now cheats

[Anonymous]

Yes. My STBXH. Raised in the church, very strict moral code, viewed cheaters with contempt, always said he'd have the dignity to end the marriage before committing adultery.

When he turned 39, it's like he went to bed one night and woke up with a completely different personality. Had an affair with his secretary (also married, with three children), said he'd rather kill himself than stay married to me, and left to pursue something with her. Unfortunately, she didn't share his commitment to the affair and stayed with her family.

6 months later, he's begging to come back home. He's going to church every week.

No idea what the heck happened to the man I married, but the marriage is over.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Yes. Two women who couldn't be more different. Very surprising when I found out about their affairs.

Their reasons were pretty much classic for why women cheat. Including the reason for not getting divorced instead.

Classic reasons are ???

Classic reasons are: bored with provider husband and routine sex, got some attention from a more alpha male

You clearly are not a woman and have not even the faintest clue of what would drive a woman to cheat.

Actually, I am a woman, and I was wondering what others thought "classic" reasons were. To see if they aligned with what I thought.

The two posts in a row that you made that basically said the same thing are not it. Those are simply superficial misogynist cliches that you are clinging to. That's all.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Yes. Two women who couldn't be more different. Very surprising when I found out about their affairs.

Their reasons were pretty much classic for why women cheat. Including the reason for not getting divorced instead.

Classic reasons are ???

NP but I'm going to guess: taken for granted at home, but they like the money their husbands make.

Im a PP whose BF cheats. She makes more money than her husband. Always has and money ans division of domestic duties are their strong suit.

Her DH has an explosive temper. With her and the kids. He's always screaming. He doesn't save it for behind closed doors, he's done it in front of my family all the time. He comes from a horribly dysfunctional family. He needs thearapy and probably medication. However, he doesn't "believe in seeing psychologists" and thinks his behaviour is normal, because apparently that was normal for his family. She's begged for years for him to see somebody and it falls on deaf ears. Shes absolutely sick of it and as she puts it, counting down the days.

She does not feel close to him and she says hes temper and anger has corroded her love for him.

I am a not cheater, turned cheater, and this describes my situation exactly. After 15 years of living like the above poster, you just come to your whit's end.

[Anonymous]

I told myself I'd never cheat. I meant it, too.

But then circumstances at home changed, and I didn't sign up for a lifetime of forced celibacy.

I love my wife. Really. I'm staying with her, absolutely. But her sex drive went away completely when she hit 40. At first, I resented her for it, but gradually I saw that it wasn't her fault. If you don't crave something, you're not going to do it. I hate cantaloupe, for example. How many times to I go out of my way to eat it? Never.

Once I understood that, I stopped being angry at her, and started taking care of my own needs. We never had an official conversation about it, she doesn't know for certain, but I suppose she understands.

It works for us. Your mileage may vary.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Yes. Two women who couldn't be more different. Very surprising when I found out about their affairs.

Their reasons were pretty much classic for why women cheat. Including the reason for not getting divorced instead.

Classic reasons are ???

Classic reasons are: bored with provider husband and routine sex, got some attention from a more alpha male

You clearly are not a woman and have not even the faintest clue of what would drive a woman to cheat.

Actually, I am a woman, and I was wondering what others thought "classic" reasons were. To see if they aligned with what I thought.

The two posts in a row that you made that basically said the same thing are not it. Those are simply superficial misogynist cliches that you are clinging to. That's all.

Sorry, I didn't post those, I posted the "Classic reasons are ???" question.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Yes. Two women who couldn't be more different. Very surprising when I found out about their affairs.

Their reasons were pretty much classic for why women cheat. Including the reason for not getting divorced instead.

Classic reasons are ???

NP but I'm going to guess: taken for granted at home, but they like the money their husbands make.

Im a PP whose BF cheats. She makes more money than her husband. Always has and money ans division of domestic duties are their strong suit.

Her DH has an explosive temper. With her and the kids. He's always screaming. He doesn't save it for behind closed doors, he's done it in front of my family all the time. He comes from a horribly dysfunctional family. He needs thearapy and probably medication. However, he doesn't "believe in seeing psychologists" and thinks his behaviour is normal, because apparently that was normal for his family. She's begged for years for him to see somebody and it falls on deaf ears. Shes absolutely sick of it and as she puts it, counting down the days.

She does not feel close to him and she says hes temper and anger has corroded her love for him.

I am a not cheater, turned cheater, and this describes my situation exactly. After 15 years of living like the above poster, you just come to your whit's end.

Maybe you are my friend. I like my friends DH, hed a pretty cool guy if you are not his wife ot kids.. However i could never be married to someone who comes so incredubly unhinged over the smallest things. Once they had us over to dinner and she was doing some prep and he flipped his shit because she was cutting th eonions "wrong ". It was this crazy explosion and then 5min later he acted like nothing had happened while she was pissed for the remainder of the night and saud under her breath to me "I cant wait until the kids are grown" and he was asking what had crawled up her ass all confused.