Almost to the finish line....and so miserable

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Hey OP, I hear you. On the sleep front, I ended up being prescribed a low dose of Ambien. My midwife said my incredibly poor sleep wasn't sustainable and we needed to get me decent sleep before baby arrived. Totally the right move.

And hugs. The last month sucks. 2 nights before I went into labor I burst into tears, crying "I'm never going to go into labor!" I was so D-O-N-E with pregnancy.

I will ask my doctor about this at my next appointment. It just dawned on me I've never mentioned to my doctor how much the interrupted sleep is wearing me down. Thanks for the tip PP! And also to the other pps who've posted about their miserable last few weeks. It's good to know I'm not alone!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I thought the last few weeks were fine. What's wrong with you? AMA?

Wow, what a bitchy comment.

Eh, OP sounds like a bitch herself. I'm sure she can handle it.

+10000


Her miscarriage comment was heartless. OP have you tried swimming or doing exercises in a pool? It helped me immensely towards the end.

[Anonymous]

I have more than a few weeks left and am wake for a few hours every night. With a toddler to help in the morning. Shit is tough. One day at a time and ask for help where you can.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm not saying this to derail the thread, because it sounds like you're going through a lot, but after my recent miscarriage I would love to be in your shoes. Maybe some perspective will help power you through the next couple weeks/months. You've got this.

OP here. This isn't helpful at all. I actually can't understand the people with miscarriages/trouble conceiving that pop up on the expectant and postpartum forum talking about how we should just be grateful and they'd love to be in our shoes....there are a few of you and seriously, get out of here. Just because I'm "so lucky" to be pregnant doesn't mean I can't be upset about some of the hard stuff that comes along with it. And also, I bet you're probably married or in a serious relationship? How would you like it if someone said to you, "well, sucks about your miscarriage but at least you have a life partner! Some people don't have that! I hope some perspective helps you power through your grief!"

Thanks pps for all the sympathetic posts. I am going to take some friends up on offers to help this weekend with groceries etc. I would just feel so much better if I could sleep for more than two hours at a time seriously I feel like I'm being tortured.

I was feeling empathy for you until this bitchy response. What a heartless thing to say to someone who explicitly offered support and a bit or perspective.

[Anonymous]

^dont listen to this, op.
You already know there is suffering via infertility. You don't need a reminder in the last miserable week of a pregnancy.

You've got this op!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm not saying this to derail the thread, because it sounds like you're going through a lot, but after my recent miscarriage I would love to be in your shoes. Maybe some perspective will help power you through the next couple weeks/months. You've got this.

OP here. This isn't helpful at all. I actually can't understand the people with miscarriages/trouble conceiving that pop up on the expectant and postpartum forum talking about how we should just be grateful and they'd love to be in our shoes....there are a few of you and seriously, get out of here. Just because I'm "so lucky" to be pregnant doesn't mean I can't be upset about some of the hard stuff that comes along with it. And also, I bet you're probably married or in a serious relationship? How would you like it if someone said to you, "well, sucks about your miscarriage but at least you have a life partner! Some people don't have that! I hope some perspective helps you power through your grief!"

Thanks pps for all the sympathetic posts. I am going to take some friends up on offers to help this weekend with groceries etc. I would just feel so much better if I could sleep for more than two hours at a time seriously I feel like I'm being tortured.

I was feeling empathy for you until this bitchy response. What a heartless thing to say to someone who explicitly offered support and a bit or perspective.

Not OP but support and perspective aren't the same. The miscarriage poster offered perspective, and she's right. On the other hand, it wasn't supportive. And I say that as someone who's had 3 miscarriages and 1 live birth and am due any day with #2 and am so, so uncomfortable. The miscarriages certainly help me put things in perspective but it's just a coping mechanism, it doesn't make me actually grateful to be suffering excruciating sciatica and sleeplessness. I mean of course I am grateful to have gotten this far in the process and it was very hard -- ART, tons of drugs to address various medical issues that caused the miscarriages, lots of money and time and tears expended. But it's not a one to one comparison and I certainly wouldn't expect someone who hasn't had a miscarriage to feel that way.

It's not a competition of suffering. That's like telling someone with MS to be grateful they don't have cancer because they can live longer even though with great pain and disability. Maybe the MS patient would agree her deal is better, maybe she wouldn't. It all sucks in different ways.

[Anonymous]

The miscarriage poster offered some perspective and said "you've got this". Seemed pretty supportive to me. Also, it always amazes me when people complain about the last few weeks/months of pregnancy. Having to pee a few times during the night is not a real hardship. And like, sorry you feel fat and tired and your back hurts? None of that is debilitating.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:The miscarriage poster offered some perspective and said "you've got this". Seemed pretty supportive to me. Also, it always amazes me when people complain about the last few weeks/months of pregnancy. Having to pee a few times during the night is not a real hardship. And like, sorry you feel fat and tired and your back hurts? None of that is debilitating.

NP - Maybe some people appreciate this type of "perspective," but personally it rings so false to me and it's usually annoying and unhelpful. There is ALWAYS going to be someone worse off than you, does that mean your problems aren't real and you're not allowed to ever be upset or have a complaint? Jeez. Sometimes people are just looking for commiseration, not to be told "It could be worse, so shut up."

And yes, the end of pregnancy is very hard for some women. If that wasn't your experience, good for you. You still don't get to decide what's a "real hardship" for someone else.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:The miscarriage poster offered some perspective and said "you've got this". Seemed pretty supportive to me. Also, it always amazes me when people complain about the last few weeks/months of pregnancy. Having to pee a few times during the night is not a real hardship. And like, sorry you feel fat and tired and your back hurts? None of that is debilitating.

Do you really think that just because the end of your pregnancy wasn't that hard then that must be the case for everyone? If you survived pregnancy just feeling fat, tired and sore then you are very lucky and YOU should get some perspective. For many women, the symptoms are legitimately debilitating. No amount of "perspective" relieves the wide variety of excruciatingly painful symptoms that are hard to take with no other children to care for, an easy job and a supportive husband. Add a toddler (or two), an unforgiving job or an absent partner and you can be in for a real hell of a ride.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The miscarriage poster offered some perspective and said "you've got this". Seemed pretty supportive to me. Also, it always amazes me when people complain about the last few weeks/months of pregnancy. Having to pee a few times during the night is not a real hardship. And like, sorry you feel fat and tired and your back hurts? None of that is debilitating.

Do you really think that just because the end of your pregnancy wasn't that hard then that must be the case for everyone? If you survived pregnancy just feeling fat, tired and sore then you are very lucky and YOU should get some perspective. For many women, the symptoms are legitimately debilitating. No amount of "perspective" relieves the wide variety of excruciatingly painful symptoms that are hard to take with no other children to care for, an easy job and a supportive husband. Add a toddler (or two), an unforgiving job or an absent partner and you can be in for a real hell of a ride.

Obviously some people have a harder time than others. OP's issues seemed like low-grade annoyances. Hope she likes having a newborn all by her miserable self. That should go well.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The miscarriage poster offered some perspective and said "you've got this". Seemed pretty supportive to me. Also, it always amazes me when people complain about the last few weeks/months of pregnancy. Having to pee a few times during the night is not a real hardship. And like, sorry you feel fat and tired and your back hurts? None of that is debilitating.

Do you really think that just because the end of your pregnancy wasn't that hard then that must be the case for everyone? If you survived pregnancy just feeling fat, tired and sore then you are very lucky and YOU should get some perspective. For many women, the symptoms are legitimately debilitating. No amount of "perspective" relieves the wide variety of excruciatingly painful symptoms that are hard to take with no other children to care for, an easy job and a supportive husband. Add a toddler (or two), an unforgiving job or an absent partner and you can be in for a real hell of a ride.

Obviously some people have a harder time than others. OP's issues seemed like low-grade annoyances. Hope she likes having a newborn all by her miserable self. That should go well.[/quote]

Agree. I'm waiting for OP to post on the GP forum about how much she hates life with a baby if she's complaining now. Feeling like an exhausted beached whale in the last part of pregnancy is part of the rite of passage. You suck it up and keep chugging.

Maybe OP should advocate for herself - do you get any exercise like swimming, walking, yoga? Do you have a body pillow, sleep with legs propped, take iron supplements, hydrate more to keep from feeling so exhausted?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The miscarriage poster offered some perspective and said "you've got this". Seemed pretty supportive to me. Also, it always amazes me when people complain about the last few weeks/months of pregnancy. Having to pee a few times during the night is not a real hardship. And like, sorry you feel fat and tired and your back hurts? None of that is debilitating.

NP - Maybe some people appreciate this type of "perspective," but personally it rings so false to me and it's usually annoying and unhelpful. There is ALWAYS going to be someone worse off than you, does that mean your problems aren't real and you're not allowed to ever be upset or have a complaint? Jeez. Sometimes people are just looking for commiseration, not to be told "It could be worse, so shut up."

And yes, the end of pregnancy is very hard for some women. If that wasn't your experience, good for you. You still don't get to decide what's a "real hardship" for someone else.

+1

[Anonymous]

Sleep was so miserable for me, too. The good news is that starting the very first night after baby was born, I could suddenly sleep very well. I remember feeling like my hospital bed was a cloud. Of course, your baby wakes you up frequently, but for me, I slept so very comfortably and soundly during those 2-3 hours in between feedings. Hopefully you'll get that same relief when your baby is born.

[Anonymous]

It's 2:30am and I'm 8 months pregnant and I can't sleep. Tomorrow morning my toddler will wake up full of energy and ready to play. I will be exhausted. I'm so ready to be done with pregnancy!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm not saying this to derail the thread, because it sounds like you're going through a lot, but after my recent miscarriage I would love to be in your shoes. Maybe some perspective will help power you through the next couple weeks/months. You've got this.

OP here. This isn't helpful at all. I actually can't understand the people with miscarriages/trouble conceiving that pop up on the expectant and postpartum forum talking about how we should just be grateful and they'd love to be in our shoes....there are a few of you and seriously, get out of here. Just because I'm "so lucky" to be pregnant doesn't mean I can't be upset about some of the hard stuff that comes along with it. And also, I bet you're probably married or in a serious relationship? How would you like it if someone said to you, "well, sucks about your miscarriage but at least you have a life partner! Some people don't have that! I hope some perspective helps you power through your grief!"

Thanks pps for all the sympathetic posts. I am going to take some friends up on offers to help this weekend with groceries etc. I would just feel so much better if I could sleep for more than two hours at a time seriously I feel like I'm being tortured.

I was feeling empathy for you until this bitchy response. What a heartless thing to say to someone who explicitly offered support and a bit or perspective.

Seriously! I'm 33 weeks with three other kids and working full time. DH is working overtime so he can take paternity leave. You think it helps if I complain or feel sorry for myself? You think I can use being pregnant as an excuse to not take care of my other kids? OP, you should thank your blessings that you have a baby on the way. If you think being pregnant is hard, just wait until you have a newborn!