LAMB or Stokes?

[Anonymous]

How do you know if Montessori is going to be good for your kid in the long run? I see it as being great for PK/K, but unsure about the higher elementary grades.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Tough call, we went to LAMB and were terribly unhappy with it, left for private after 2 years which we can't really comfortably afford. We have a lot of neighbors at Stokes and they seem to be very happy with it, but not sure if it would actually work better for my son.

Here are some differences I'm aware of:

LAMB, no homework, Stokes gives homework

The curriculum is quite different obviously, I'd read books on Montessori and believed wholeheartedly in it, even used Montessori techniques at home with my son when he was 1 and 2, unfortunately LAMB isn't true Montessori, the teacher's admitted to me they have to teach to the test and in the afternoons instead of letting children select their activities my son was forced to do a rotation at a Math table and at a reading table, he got in trouble for drawing one day, he was doing these lovely intricate little drawing which looked like excellent pre-writing practice and right in line with Montessori, but he was supposed to do Math.

The communities at both seem good, Stokes does lots of plays and parades and school activities. LAMB has monthly peace ceremonies and the parent community is incredible.

My son learned Spanish easily at LAMB, can't really compare to Stokes.

I have talked to a lot of other LAMB parents, many have frustrations with the rigidity of the school and lack of communication. Some I know who joined in ps-4 said their kids always said it wasn't fun and wanted to go back their old school. Kids from Stokes seem to enjoy school, but maybe a Stokes parent can comment on that. Many people I knew said their kids didn't want to go in the mornings and would have difficult mornings. Preschool for 3 & 4 year olds should be fun, in my opinion, they shouldn't be developing a lifelong hatred for school. I don't know if this is par for the course, but after reading articles in the Post about how early preschool programs done poorly can cause burnout and school fatigue for kids as they age, this seems to be the case at LAMB and is something I would be concerned about.

My son was miserable at LAMB, we eventually had him diagnosed with ADHD but the school was absolutely no help, they refused to evaluate him at all because he tested 1-2 years ahead academically. It would take months for Cristina to return emails to me, it took until the end of our 2nd year to even have a meeting with intervention specialists etc. I was criticized as parent (not by Cristina but by a teacher, told I needed a parenting class because I'm a young mom and we research a car before buying one, so I should really research parenting...)

When we talked with Cristina she said our problems weren't the school's responsibility. The teachers told me they were asking the administration for help in the classroom, and received nothing. My son and the other students, needed more movement, and the teachers would sneak the kids out for extra time on the playground with excuses ready (like we're cleaning the classroom) so that they could let the kids move more. I've visited the teachers to let my son say hi since leaving and morale is low, they are miserable and frustrated with the administration, and said thank goodness I pulled him out or he would have been miserable. They're frustrated with the lack of support and frustrated with the rigidness of the school and how kids are barely allowed to move or play. As we were leaving and I began opening up to other parents I learned that almost every boy in his class was being diagnosed with anxiety or ADHD. I have friends in other classes and have not heard the same from them.

Our neighbors at Stokes also have a kid with ADHD, homework battles can be difficult and they've struggled, but the administration seemed to jump at the opportunity to help them. Their circumstances are different (their kid was testing behind) so I'm not sure I can definitively say this is a problem with LAMB or just the nature of having a 2E kid. At his private school now he's like a different person, so I definitely blame the school environment, however it doesn't mean it won't work for other kids.

Can I ask when your child attended LAMB? I am a current parent of a pre-schooler at LAMB. It's possible we've had two very different experiences -- especially if things have changed in recent years -- but my kid and his classmates move around a ton. There is very little sitting in one place. They move around the classroom throughout the day and have recess time, PE, trips to the library. Plus, with aftercare, they do more recess, capoeira, Zumba, soccer, and a ton of other stuff.

I've also had a pretty amazing experience with the teachers and specialists with regard to special needs. Lots of support -- more than I expected.

Yes, the community is going through a lot right now with the recent scandal, but as others have said, it's a tight knit group of mostly very invested parents. I think we will get through this and be stronger for it.

As for LAMB v Stokes, I applied to both and would have been happy with either. I love LAMB now that we're in it, and yes, my son's Spanish skills are amazing (especially coming from two non-Spanish speaking parents).

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:How do you know if Montessori is going to be good for your kid in the long run? I see it as being great for PK/K, but unsure about the higher elementary grades.

No way to tell. Same with immersion.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:How do you know if Montessori is going to be good for your kid in the long run? I see it as being great for PK/K, but unsure about the higher elementary grades.

Parent of a pre-schooler at LAMB here. I don't know how you tell if your kid will do well in Montessori until they do (or don't), but I can share this from our experience:
Montessori emphasizes independence and student-directed learning. There is a structure to it, but it's not as apparent as in a classroom where all the kids learn everything at the same time. In the primary level, the classes are mixed with about 1/3 in Pre-K3, 1/3 in Pre-K4, and 1/3 Kindergartners. There are Montessori "games" (though I'm sure they're not called this) set up all over the room with some that are appropriate for the 3yos, some for the 4yos, and some for the Kindergartners. Kids have to master the "games" in an order - e.g., master the 3yo level, then the 4yo level, then the 5yo level. The students know which "work" they are supposed to do in general, but have the right to choose which things they want to work on. So my kid really likes science and "practical life" and gravitates towards those things. The teachers give a "presentation" on how a "game" or activity works and then they let the student practice it. The 4yos are meant to mentor the 3yos and the Kindergartners mentor the 3 and 4 yos. The teachers work 1:1 with kids or in small groups, helping the kids to master the activities and develop skills over time. It's amazing to me to see the progress my son has made -- both in practical skills (he's super independent at home) and in academic skills (already doing the early bit of math). All of it is called "work" but in the way it occurs, it feels like "play." My kid loves it. We also really like the continuity of having the same teachers for 3 years (but people do switch, if needed) and our son is super motivated by the desire to do what the bigger kids in class do. If your child needs more structure and guidance -- perhaps is more timid and wouldn't like to work independently -- then maybe Montessori won't work for him/her. But, I am (clearly) no expert. Just a parent observing it as we live it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:How do you know if Montessori is going to be good for your kid in the long run? I see it as being great for PK/K, but unsure about the higher elementary grades.

Parent of a pre-schooler at LAMB here. I don't know how you tell if your kid will do well in Montessori until they do (or don't), but I can share this from our experience:
Montessori emphasizes independence and student-directed learning. There is a structure to it, but it's not as apparent as in a classroom where all the kids learn everything at the same time. In the primary level, the classes are mixed with about 1/3 in Pre-K3, 1/3 in Pre-K4, and 1/3 Kindergartners. There are Montessori "games" (though I'm sure they're not called this) set up all over the room with some that are appropriate for the 3yos, some for the 4yos, and some for the Kindergartners. Kids have to master the "games" in an order - e.g., master the 3yo level, then the 4yo level, then the 5yo level. The students know which "work" they are supposed to do in general, but have the right to choose which things they want to work on. So my kid really likes science and "practical life" and gravitates towards those things. The teachers give a "presentation" on how a "game" or activity works and then they let the student practice it. The 4yos are meant to mentor the 3yos and the Kindergartners mentor the 3 and 4 yos. The teachers work 1:1 with kids or in small groups, helping the kids to master the activities and develop skills over time. It's amazing to me to see the progress my son has made -- both in practical skills (he's super independent at home) and in academic skills (already doing the early bit of math). All of it is called "work" but in the way it occurs, it feels like "play." My kid loves it. We also really like the continuity of having the same teachers for 3 years (but people do switch, if needed) and our son is super motivated by the desire to do what the bigger kids in class do. If your child needs more structure and guidance -- perhaps is more timid and wouldn't like to work independently -- then maybe Montessori won't work for him/her. But, I am (clearly) no expert. Just a parent observing it as we live it.

Not games. Materials.

Not teacher. Guides.

Guides give lessons in the proper use of the materials.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:How do you know if Montessori is going to be good for your kid in the long run? I see it as being great for PK/K, but unsure about the higher elementary grades.

Parent of a pre-schooler at LAMB here. I don't know how you tell if your kid will do well in Montessori until they do (or don't), but I can share this from our experience:
Montessori emphasizes independence and student-directed learning. There is a structure to it, but it's not as apparent as in a classroom where all the kids learn everything at the same time. In the primary level, the classes are mixed with about 1/3 in Pre-K3, 1/3 in Pre-K4, and 1/3 Kindergartners. There are Montessori "games" (though I'm sure they're not called this) set up all over the room with some that are appropriate for the 3yos, some for the 4yos, and some for the Kindergartners. Kids have to master the "games" in an order - e.g., master the 3yo level, then the 4yo level, then the 5yo level. The students know which "work" they are supposed to do in general, but have the right to choose which things they want to work on. So my kid really likes science and "practical life" and gravitates towards those things. The teachers give a "presentation" on how a "game" or activity works and then they let the student practice it. The 4yos are meant to mentor the 3yos and the Kindergartners mentor the 3 and 4 yos. The teachers work 1:1 with kids or in small groups, helping the kids to master the activities and develop skills over time. It's amazing to me to see the progress my son has made -- both in practical skills (he's super independent at home) and in academic skills (already doing the early bit of math). All of it is called "work" but in the way it occurs, it feels like "play." My kid loves it. We also really like the continuity of having the same teachers for 3 years (but people do switch, if needed) and our son is super motivated by the desire to do what the bigger kids in class do. If your child needs more structure and guidance -- perhaps is more timid and wouldn't like to work independently -- then maybe Montessori won't work for him/her. But, I am (clearly) no expert. Just a parent observing it as we live it.

And I see now that you were asking about the higher grades. I think if your kid does okay in Montessori at the lower grades, Montessori is all they know and they're fine. But, I haven't gotten there yet, so it's hard for me to say for sure.

One interesting thing is that I've heard a lot of stories about kids that leave LAMB/Montessori and then go on to non-Montessori middle schools -- and they do really well. I think LAMB does a lot in 4th and 5th grade to prep kids for middle school (non-Montessori), and the kids are very successful after LAMB. This all just based on random anecdotes from parents who talked to other parents and even to some students at DCI that didn't come from LAMB, but said that their LAMB peers are often top performers.

[Anonymous]

I say go with Stokes. LAMB administration is quite frustrating to deal with.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Tough call, we went to LAMB and were terribly unhappy with it, left for private after 2 years which we can't really comfortably afford. We have a lot of neighbors at Stokes and they seem to be very happy with it, but not sure if it would actually work better for my son.

Here are some differences I'm aware of:

LAMB, no homework, Stokes gives homework

The curriculum is quite different obviously, I'd read books on Montessori and believed wholeheartedly in it, even used Montessori techniques at home with my son when he was 1 and 2, unfortunately LAMB isn't true Montessori, the teacher's admitted to me they have to teach to the test and in the afternoons instead of letting children select their activities my son was forced to do a rotation at a Math table and at a reading table, he got in trouble for drawing one day, he was doing these lovely intricate little drawing which looked like excellent pre-writing practice and right in line with Montessori, but he was supposed to do Math.

The communities at both seem good, Stokes does lots of plays and parades and school activities. LAMB has monthly peace ceremonies and the parent community is incredible.

My son learned Spanish easily at LAMB, can't really compare to Stokes.

I have talked to a lot of other LAMB parents, many have frustrations with the rigidity of the school and lack of communication. Some I know who joined in ps-4 said their kids always said it wasn't fun and wanted to go back their old school. Kids from Stokes seem to enjoy school, but maybe a Stokes parent can comment on that. Many people I knew said their kids didn't want to go in the mornings and would have difficult mornings. Preschool for 3 & 4 year olds should be fun, in my opinion, they shouldn't be developing a lifelong hatred for school. I don't know if this is par for the course, but after reading articles in the Post about how early preschool programs done poorly can cause burnout and school fatigue for kids as they age, this seems to be the case at LAMB and is something I would be concerned about.

My son was miserable at LAMB, we eventually had him diagnosed with ADHD but the school was absolutely no help, they refused to evaluate him at all because he tested 1-2 years ahead academically. It would take months for Cristina to return emails to me, it took until the end of our 2nd year to even have a meeting with intervention specialists etc. I was criticized as parent (not by Cristina but by a teacher, told I needed a parenting class because I'm a young mom and we research a car before buying one, so I should really research parenting...)

When we talked with Cristina she said our problems weren't the school's responsibility. The teachers told me they were asking the administration for help in the classroom, and received nothing. My son and the other students, needed more movement, and the teachers would sneak the kids out for extra time on the playground with excuses ready (like we're cleaning the classroom) so that they could let the kids move more. I've visited the teachers to let my son say hi since leaving and morale is low, they are miserable and frustrated with the administration, and said thank goodness I pulled him out or he would have been miserable. They're frustrated with the lack of support and frustrated with the rigidness of the school and how kids are barely allowed to move or play. As we were leaving and I began opening up to other parents I learned that almost every boy in his class was being diagnosed with anxiety or ADHD. I have friends in other classes and have not heard the same from them.

Our neighbors at Stokes also have a kid with ADHD, homework battles can be difficult and they've struggled, but the administration seemed to jump at the opportunity to help them. Their circumstances are different (their kid was testing behind) so I'm not sure I can definitively say this is a problem with LAMB or just the nature of having a 2E kid. At his private school now he's like a different person, so I definitely blame the school environment, however it doesn't mean it won't work for other kids.

Current LAMB parent here ... this sounds like it may have been a problem/issue with your particular child/family. We have multiple children at the school, including one with SN and the school has been VERY on top of it, but so were we from Day 1. You have to be your child's biggest advocate. Our teachers and the administration have been great in supporting our DC and ensuring adequate accommodations/services are provided.

On another note, morale is lower at the school given the recent events, but the community is very much in tact and recovering.

Both LAMB and Stokes would be great options, but if I had to choose I would choose LAMB again in a heartbeat.

[Anonymous]

PP again

Yes, the administration can be frustrating at times, however, to date, it has not impacted my children. While we parents may not get all of the information and communication when and how we want it, the kids do appear to be the #1 priority. The teachers and admin take care of their needs first and communicate later. Do I agree with this method? The jury is still out on that one, but it has not harmed our children in any way. With that said, I am sure there are other parents who may not agree ... just giving you my take.

Additionally, you have to take into account that the LAMB parent community is more active and involved than many other schools, and the expectations we set of the administration are proportionality higher than they may be at other schools.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Tough call, we went to LAMB and were terribly unhappy with it, left for private after 2 years which we can't really comfortably afford. We have a lot of neighbors at Stokes and they seem to be very happy with it, but not sure if it would actually work better for my son.

Here are some differences I'm aware of:

LAMB, no homework, Stokes gives homework

The curriculum is quite different obviously, I'd read books on Montessori and believed wholeheartedly in it, even used Montessori techniques at home with my son when he was 1 and 2, unfortunately LAMB isn't true Montessori, the teacher's admitted to me they have to teach to the test and in the afternoons instead of letting children select their activities my son was forced to do a rotation at a Math table and at a reading table, he got in trouble for drawing one day, he was doing these lovely intricate little drawing which looked like excellent pre-writing practice and right in line with Montessori, but he was supposed to do Math.

The communities at both seem good, Stokes does lots of plays and parades and school activities. LAMB has monthly peace ceremonies and the parent community is incredible.

My son learned Spanish easily at LAMB, can't really compare to Stokes.

I have talked to a lot of other LAMB parents, many have frustrations with the rigidity of the school and lack of communication. Some I know who joined in ps-4 said their kids always said it wasn't fun and wanted to go back their old school. Kids from Stokes seem to enjoy school, but maybe a Stokes parent can comment on that. Many people I knew said their kids didn't want to go in the mornings and would have difficult mornings. Preschool for 3 & 4 year olds should be fun, in my opinion, they shouldn't be developing a lifelong hatred for school. I don't know if this is par for the course, but after reading articles in the Post about how early preschool programs done poorly can cause burnout and school fatigue for kids as they age, this seems to be the case at LAMB and is something I would be concerned about.

My son was miserable at LAMB, we eventually had him diagnosed with ADHD but the school was absolutely no help, they refused to evaluate him at all because he tested 1-2 years ahead academically. It would take months for Cristina to return emails to me, it took until the end of our 2nd year to even have a meeting with intervention specialists etc. I was criticized as parent (not by Cristina but by a teacher, told I needed a parenting class because I'm a young mom and we research a car before buying one, so I should really research parenting...)

When we talked with Cristina she said our problems weren't the school's responsibility. The teachers told me they were asking the administration for help in the classroom, and received nothing. My son and the other students, needed more movement, and the teachers would sneak the kids out for extra time on the playground with excuses ready (like we're cleaning the classroom) so that they could let the kids move more. I've visited the teachers to let my son say hi since leaving and morale is low, they are miserable and frustrated with the administration, and said thank goodness I pulled him out or he would have been miserable. They're frustrated with the lack of support and frustrated with the rigidness of the school and how kids are barely allowed to move or play. As we were leaving and I began opening up to other parents I learned that almost every boy in his class was being diagnosed with anxiety or ADHD. I have friends in other classes and have not heard the same from them.

Our neighbors at Stokes also have a kid with ADHD, homework battles can be difficult and they've struggled, but the administration seemed to jump at the opportunity to help them. Their circumstances are different (their kid was testing behind) so I'm not sure I can definitively say this is a problem with LAMB or just the nature of having a 2E kid. At his private school now he's like a different person, so I definitely blame the school environment, however it doesn't mean it won't work for other kids.

I am a LAMB parent and I am sorry you had this experience, but I really think we went to different schools. I have never heard anyone complain about the rigidness of the school and how kids aren't allowed to move or play. I see the kids up and moving in the classroom all the time. And I rarely hear about kids being diagnosed with anxiety or ADHD (I can't say never because I know of one who is doing just fine now after having a rough few months to start). I am sure that your feelings are valid and I hope you have found a better fit for your child. But this is not the school that I know.

[Anonymous]

You should be asking some DCI parents which cohort of students are better prepared for MS/HS?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You should be asking some DCI parents which cohort of students are better prepared for MS/HS?

For what, anecdotal evidence?

Both schools are great and have their ups and downs. It will work out no matter what.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You should be asking some DCI parents which cohort of students are better prepared for MS/HS?

There's no objective way that a DCI parent would know this. Don't rely on the perception of a middle schooler.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:How do you know if Montessori is going to be good for your kid in the long run? I see it as being great for PK/K, but unsure about the higher elementary grades.

No way to tell. Same with immersion.

I think immersion is easier to tell, especially if your kid is already exposed to it. But I suppose if they start early with Montessori too it also becomes all they know....

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Tough call, we went to LAMB and were terribly unhappy with it, left for private after 2 years which we can't really comfortably afford. We have a lot of neighbors at Stokes and they seem to be very happy with it, but not sure if it would actually work better for my son.

Here are some differences I'm aware of:

LAMB, no homework, Stokes gives homework

The curriculum is quite different obviously, I'd read books on Montessori and believed wholeheartedly in it, even used Montessori techniques at home with my son when he was 1 and 2, unfortunately LAMB isn't true Montessori, the teacher's admitted to me they have to teach to the test and in the afternoons instead of letting children select their activities my son was forced to do a rotation at a Math table and at a reading table, he got in trouble for drawing one day, he was doing these lovely intricate little drawing which looked like excellent pre-writing practice and right in line with Montessori, but he was supposed to do Math.

The communities at both seem good, Stokes does lots of plays and parades and school activities. LAMB has monthly peace ceremonies and the parent community is incredible.

My son learned Spanish easily at LAMB, can't really compare to Stokes.

I have talked to a lot of other LAMB parents, many have frustrations with the rigidity of the school and lack of communication. Some I know who joined in ps-4 said their kids always said it wasn't fun and wanted to go back their old school. Kids from Stokes seem to enjoy school, but maybe a Stokes parent can comment on that. Many people I knew said their kids didn't want to go in the mornings and would have difficult mornings. Preschool for 3 & 4 year olds should be fun, in my opinion, they shouldn't be developing a lifelong hatred for school. I don't know if this is par for the course, but after reading articles in the Post about how early preschool programs done poorly can cause burnout and school fatigue for kids as they age, this seems to be the case at LAMB and is something I would be concerned about.

My son was miserable at LAMB, we eventually had him diagnosed with ADHD but the school was absolutely no help, they refused to evaluate him at all because he tested 1-2 years ahead academically. It would take months for Cristina to return emails to me, it took until the end of our 2nd year to even have a meeting with intervention specialists etc. I was criticized as parent (not by Cristina but by a teacher, told I needed a parenting class because I'm a young mom and we research a car before buying one, so I should really research parenting...)

When we talked with Cristina she said our problems weren't the school's responsibility. The teachers told me they were asking the administration for help in the classroom, and received nothing. My son and the other students, needed more movement, and the teachers would sneak the kids out for extra time on the playground with excuses ready (like we're cleaning the classroom) so that they could let the kids move more. I've visited the teachers to let my son say hi since leaving and morale is low, they are miserable and frustrated with the administration, and said thank goodness I pulled him out or he would have been miserable. They're frustrated with the lack of support and frustrated with the rigidness of the school and how kids are barely allowed to move or play. As we were leaving and I began opening up to other parents I learned that almost every boy in his class was being diagnosed with anxiety or ADHD. I have friends in other classes and have not heard the same from them.

Our neighbors at Stokes also have a kid with ADHD, homework battles can be difficult and they've struggled, but the administration seemed to jump at the opportunity to help them. Their circumstances are different (their kid was testing behind) so I'm not sure I can definitively say this is a problem with LAMB or just the nature of having a 2E kid. At his private school now he's like a different person, so I definitely blame the school environment, however it doesn't mean it won't work for other kids.

Your experience is really interesting. We are LAMB parents who have been wading into the SN waters this year and working more with the special education team. There have been ups and downs so far, and I have had to do some advocacy. But overall, the SN coordinator and the various specialists have been great and very accommodating. I cannot say the same for the Principal but now I just work with those underneath her - she is too busy anyway and I don't appreciate that she seems mildly annoyed by active parents who happen to be middle, not low, income.

Also, I am willing to admit that my expectations for LAMB, as a public school, are fairly low for managing special needs. To get good attention in this area, I think that you really need to go private.

We have also felt that the school provided a lot of opportunity for movement. But our child's SN needs don't require a lot of movement so that may be why our experience has been different.

In talking with teachers, I think that there are a lot of mixed feelings about the administration. Some of the teachers love LAMB to death and I think that they feel a good amount of autonomy and control over their classrooms. Others feel more restricted by the environment. It's hard for me to get a sense of what exactly is going on there with the administration -- however, I do sense that the administrators are not always open to teacher feedback (as they are not always open to parent feedback).

re Stokes, I know one of the high level administrators at Stokes personally. I consider her to be a thoughtful, very well-prepared, engaged, and conscientious individual.