Is this rude or is it just me?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:First I invited my mom to go to an ice skating show with my daughters. I bought her ticket. Before we went I bought her food at a restaurant as well. When we go there I spent nearly 100 more dollars on more food/snacks. She didnt offer to buy anything. She also kept eating my daughters popcorn so they kept running out.

Now, I bought tickets to go to the movies. I originally wanted my husband to go with us but she talked me into letting her go. I know that I'm going to have to buy everything and I cant just buy stuff for myself and my girls without offering her something, I feel rude.

I thought it was just common sense to pay for your own food, especially if someone bought you the tickets? It pretty much ruins my mood...

As an adult I would never ever expect my parent to pay for anything. Or care if her and her granddaughter were sharing popcorn.

Though I wonder why your parent doesn't offer? We usually have to "fight" our own for the bill.

Maybe mention to your mom that money is tight and ask if she can help out while on an outing? Or let her order and pay for her own snacks? But ... shes your mom.

[Anonymous]

So your mom never bought you movie tickets, popcorn, food at the restaurants? Cooked and cleaned and did anything for you? She gave you to a foster family to raise you? Why do you keep inviting her, when you can't stand her?

[Anonymous]

This thread makes me sad.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This thread makes me sad.

+1. So sad. My heart is breaking for OP's mom.

[Anonymous]

Wouldn't occur to me to ask my mom to pay for anything. Usually only one of us pays for everyone in the family. If it's expensive, I pay. If it is not, then my mom pays.

[Anonymous]

My mind is still boggling at $100 for snacks after dinner.

[Anonymous]

Maybe she's getting old. My mom stopped seeing herself as an independent person and as someone who wanted to be cared for as she aged (she was not actually old by the numbers but her mindset changed). This translated into paying for her whenever we went anywhere or did anything. It was a drag. It was not just a money thing. I was drowning in kid work and she wanted to be my responsibility too.

[Anonymous]

I don't know. Some people are just clueless or cheap. When we go out with in laws for dinner, either we or MIL pay. BIL + wife never offer to pay or split the bill or even throw a few bucks in for tips. Yep, they just sit there.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This thread makes me sad.

+1. So sad. My heart is breaking for OP's mom.

I love treating my mom and dad. It is the very least I can do for them. I especially love seeing them happy and spending their time with their grandchildren. Its a part of being an adult child.

This thread is heartbreaking. Especially because I bet OPs mom is thinking what a kind wonderful daughter she has and just having a wonderful day spending time with her daughter and grandkids.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My mind is still boggling at $100 for snacks after dinner.

The concession stand at the theater is brutal.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I don't know. Some people are just clueless or cheap. When we go out with in laws for dinner, either we or MIL pay. BIL + wife never offer to pay or split the bill or even throw a few bucks in for tips. Yep, they just sit there.

Siblings and BIL/SIL are very very different from your own parents.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I don't know. Some people are just clueless or cheap. When we go out with in laws for dinner, either we or MIL pay. BIL + wife never offer to pay or split the bill or even throw a few bucks in for tips. Yep, they just sit there.

It sucks to feel taken advantage of from family guests, houseguests, visitors, etc.
We have one side of the family constantly trying to get us to pay for everything and on the other side we each argue to pay the bill. Guess what? We feel a lot better when family offers to pay than sitting back time and time again and making a young family pay for their good selves. When it is a pattern it is very tacky and is cut back on inviting moochers.

[Anonymous]

Wow this makes me sad but from the other side. Both my folks and my fil always pay when we go out together. We might buy the tickets to the show but they always cover dinner and treats and what nots. We have fought to pay but they always say it's their pleasure to do it as their parents did for them and we will do for our kids. My mil offers to pay but then never remembers to bring her money or cards. My friends folks all do also. Maybe it's cultural?

[Anonymous]

Funny. My parents fight to pay every bill when we're together and cite all our expenses with kids, working, house in DC. They do the same when with my brother's family.

On other hand, my ILs don't even offer to pay for anything ever.

[Anonymous]

I wish I could take my parents to a restaurant or out to a movie. Sadly they passed away 11 years ago.
When they were still around I was happy to pay for stuff for them. After all they've paid for so much for me when I was growing up.

Unless you can't afford it I'd let it go.