Leg Shaving, Eyebrow Waxing....

[Anonymous]

My 7th grader also has dark hair on lighter skin. I wish she wanted to shave. She needs it, frankly, but I have never said anything about her legs. I have told her I'd like her to shave under her arms. She seems to not care and I shudder sometimes when I notice she hasn't been keeping it up. It's a battle I am trying to delicately dance around. I cannot believe no child has said anything mean (about the arm pits). Kids at her school must be kinder than when I grew up.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My 7th grader also has dark hair on lighter skin. I wish she wanted to shave. She needs it, frankly, but I have never said anything about her legs. I have told her I'd like her to shave under her arms. She seems to not care and I shudder sometimes when I notice she hasn't been keeping it up. It's a battle I am trying to delicately dance around. I cannot believe no child has said anything mean (about the arm pits). Kids at her school must be kinder than when I grew up.

She doesn't need it. You want it. "She needs it" and "I want her to do it" are two different things.

If OP's daughter wants to shave, that's fine. If your daughter doesn't want to shave, that's fine too. Let her be.

[Anonymous]

My DD started shaving when she was 9---she was getting teased. I have lighter leg hair and don't shave my legs or pits, but felt it was important to let DD make her own choices about her body. I try to make sure she knows either choice is fine with me and she can always change her mind later.

[Anonymous]

I hear from middle school moms that the girls should start with waxing (Armpits/legs/brows). What's the verdict? Shaving or straight to waxing?

[Anonymous]

I started shaving my legs when I was 11 in 6th grade, and that was before kids were growing up too fast like they are now. Please teach your daughter and let her do this.

Take her to a salon and have them do her eyebrows in an age appropriate way. Then let her upkeep herself.

[Anonymous]

Have you thought about waxing so that she is not shaving as often?

[Anonymous]

My mother permitted (actually, required, in my case, since I was quite resistant) me to start a routine of regularly doing both at age 13.

I would allow my kids to do so at any age once they want to and so far my daughters have all started shaving regularly by 8th grade so 6th or 7th seems well within normal to me.

[Anonymous]

As someone who was teased I say if she's self conscious it's time. And certainly age appropriate. I have thick dark hair and refused to put on a bathing suit because my legs were so hairy. I also over plucked and ruined my eyebrows in high school because I wanted them gone after all the teasing. She can get her eyebrows threaded. It will shape and clean them without over doing it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I hear from middle school moms that the girls should start with waxing (Armpits/legs/brows). What's the verdict? Shaving or straight to waxing?

Why "should"? Nobody has to do anything -- arms, legs, eyebrows, shave, wax, depilate, whatever.

[Anonymous]

Be careful with allowing her to take off too much of the brows. they don't always grow back and she might want fuller brows later in life

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:DD started shaving in 6th grade. She was an avid gymnast and it wasn't unusual for the darker haired girls on her team to start shaving in 5th grade since they spent so much time in leos.

6th & 7th grade is the norm. I can remember when I was in 7th grade and everyone was making fun of a girl in our PE class because she had black hair and very dark, hairy legs. No one wanted to hold her legs during the physical fitness tests (sit ups, leg reaches). I held her legs along with the PE teacher, who didn't do anything to shut the little a-holes up, and then I got made fun of for 'mating with Sasquatch.' The girl's mom was very strict that she couldn't shave until HS. That just seemed like such a weird rule to me.

I swear, I want to slap mothers like this. I was a hairy girl (black hair on very pale skin) and my mom helped me as soon as I expressed embarrassment over it. She showed me how to shave and bleach, and I'm forever grateful to her for her empathy.

[Anonymous]

I'm surprised by the recommendations for waxing...it's so expensive to wax the whole leg. I'm a professional woman and can't bring myself to pay all that.

Can I ask a related question? How many women/teens bleach the hair on their arms? I'm fairly light haired so it's not an issue for me but my daughter is half Jewish and the hair on her arms is pretty dark (but very fair skin). There's no one on her fathers side I can ask about this.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'm surprised by the recommendations for waxing...it's so expensive to wax the whole leg. I'm a professional woman and can't bring myself to pay all that.

Can I ask a related question? How many women/teens bleach the hair on their arms? I'm fairly light haired so it's not an issue for me but my daughter is half Jewish and the hair on her arms is pretty dark (but very fair skin). There's no one on her fathers side I can ask about this.

What does being "half Jewish" have to do with hair on arms?

How old is your daughter? Does the hair on your daughter's arms bother your daughter? Is your daughter old enough to think about the meaning of society's expectation that women have no hair on their bodies except head hair (ideally long), eyelashes (ditto), and eyebrows (trimmed)?

[Anonymous]

Both of my daughters started shaving around age 10. They said they wanted to, I said that's fine with me. I don't own them.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Be careful with allowing her to take off too much of the brows. they don't always grow back and she might want fuller brows later in life

This. Just a minor clean up. Use wax. A good place won't burn her. Threading does more damage to the hair follicle, so it lasts longer and can be more permanent. Most cheap eyebrow places will quickly wax and the eyebrows seem to get thinner overtime. You need a waxer who will respect that she just wants a cleanup. I'd have her request that they only wax underneath the brow and have them trim the top, and pluck whatever remaining strays might be up there.

As far as the leg shaving goes - get a grip. My mom made me wait until the 7th grade and it still pisses me off when I think about it.