How do you manage relationships with ultra-religious family members?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm team avoid. I don't have a relationship with the ultra conservative, religious side of my family. They are seriously judgmental and bigoted. I'm never going to convince them that their values are hurtful and bigoted and they will never convince me that they are good decent people who care about others. I'm fairly open about my views and they are as well.

I think it's a testament to my own values that I don't normalize their hateful thinking. I know you can never, ever convince someone that they are hateful, bigots. No one views themselves like that because we are all the hero in our story. But I can draw a line and make my own non-hateful views clear and live a life that is aligned with my own values. So, I just do that and keep it moving.

You are seriously delusional. They're hateful and bigoted? Why? Because they believe certain things that you have deemed wrong? Bigotry is intolerance. Just because I don't agree with you does not make me intolerant. But the fact you cannot associate with them because of their beliefs shows you to be intolerant.

Here is a prime example of what I am talking about.

A religious person believes that the bible teaches homosexuality is a sin. Yet, that religious person doesn't shun a gay person. Doesn't treat them poorly and can still love them. Why then are they are labeled a homophobe and/or a bigot for their belief by those who don't agree with them? Intolerance. You MUST accept my belief or I can't accept you is the issue and it goes both ways.

NP here - while I agree that a non-religious person can be intolerant, you are giving only one example.

There are very religious people who also believe that the bible teachers homosexuality is a sin, therefore I will not treat anyone whom I know to be gay in a respectful manner. I will cease to relate to anyone whom I discover is gay (like a family member/friend). And if I have to deal with them (like a co-worker, child's teacher, etc) then I will be disrespectful when I speak about them, and perhaps even face to face. That's not someone whom I would say is tolerant, would you? And would be homophobic?

It cuts both ways....

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm team avoid. I don't have a relationship with the ultra conservative, religious side of my family. They are seriously judgmental and bigoted. I'm never going to convince them that their values are hurtful and bigoted and they will never convince me that they are good decent people who care about others. I'm fairly open about my views and they are as well.

I think it's a testament to my own values that I don't normalize their hateful thinking. I know you can never, ever convince someone that they are hateful, bigots. No one views themselves like that because we are all the hero in our story. But I can draw a line and make my own non-hateful views clear and live a life that is aligned with my own values. So, I just do that and keep it moving.

You are seriously delusional. They're hateful and bigoted? Why? Because they believe certain things that you have deemed wrong? Bigotry is intolerance. Just because I don't agree with you does not make me intolerant. But the fact you cannot associate with them because of their beliefs shows you to be intolerant.

Here is a prime example of what I am talking about.

A religious person believes that the bible teaches homosexuality is a sin. Yet, that religious person doesn't shun a gay person. Doesn't treat them poorly and can still love them. Why then are they are labeled a homophobe and/or a bigot for their belief by those who don't agree with them? Intolerance. You MUST accept my belief or I can't accept you is the issue and it goes both ways.

NP here - while I agree that a non-religious person can be intolerant, you are giving only one example.

There are very religious people who also believe that the bible teachers homosexuality is a sin, therefore I will not treat anyone whom I know to be gay in a respectful manner. I will cease to relate to anyone whom I discover is gay (like a family member/friend). And if I have to deal with them (like a co-worker, child's teacher, etc) then I will be disrespectful when I speak about them, and perhaps even face to face. That's not someone whom I would say is tolerant, would you? And would be homophobic?

It cuts both ways....

Which is why I included " You MUST accept my belief or I can't accept you is the issue and it goes both ways."

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm team avoid. I don't have a relationship with the ultra conservative, religious side of my family. They are seriously judgmental and bigoted. I'm never going to convince them that their values are hurtful and bigoted and they will never convince me that they are good decent people who care about others. I'm fairly open about my views and they are as well.

I think it's a testament to my own values that I don't normalize their hateful thinking. I know you can never, ever convince someone that they are hateful, bigots. No one views themselves like that because we are all the hero in our story. But I can draw a line and make my own non-hateful views clear and live a life that is aligned with my own values. So, I just do that and keep it moving.

You are seriously delusional. They're hateful and bigoted? Why? Because they believe certain things that you have deemed wrong? Bigotry is intolerance. Just because I don't agree with you does not make me intolerant. But the fact you cannot associate with them because of their beliefs shows you to be intolerant.

Here is a prime example of what I am talking about.

A religious person believes that the bible teaches homosexuality is a sin. Yet, that religious person doesn't shun a gay person. Doesn't treat them poorly and can still love them. Why then are they are labeled a homophobe and/or a bigot for their belief by those who don't agree with them? Intolerance. You MUST accept my belief or I can't accept you is the issue and it goes both ways.

NP here - while I agree that a non-religious person can be intolerant, you are giving only one example.

There are very religious people who also believe that the bible teachers homosexuality is a sin, therefore I will not treat anyone whom I know to be gay in a respectful manner. I will cease to relate to anyone whom I discover is gay (like a family member/friend). And if I have to deal with them (like a co-worker, child's teacher, etc) then I will be disrespectful when I speak about them, and perhaps even face to face. That's not someone whom I would say is tolerant, would you? And would be homophobic?

It cuts both ways....

Which is why I included " You MUST accept my belief or I can't accept you is the issue and it goes both ways."

Original PP here. So yeah, my family pulls the martyr card. But they also support registering Muslims, including citizens because they are all terrorist. They support the state taking children away from gay parents and putting them in the foster system so a good Christian family can adopt them. They support other hateful things I don't even want to be bothered listing.

Oh and they are racist. They think ALL black people are lazy criminals that should be in jail.

I don't deal with people like this because they are horrible people who will never, ever think they are wrong because you cannot convince someone that they are hateful. No one wants to admit they are hateful.