Kids are calling DD Fat- 4th grade

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Running is the best exercise.

Talk to her teacher to stop the bullying. I think your dd should tease them back . Bullies want a target that doesn't fight back.

Running is terrible for the body - pounds your vertebrae down, hard on joints, knees, etc. Swimming is much more gentle on the body.

I'm in my 40's, and I recall having the exact same argument with my dad. Unfortunately, I was terrible at swimming, and it was torture for me. Running was one of the biggest influences in my life as a kid/young adult. I would go with what the child enjoys.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:The kids think it's bad that she's fat. Her mother thinks it's bad that she's fat.

Which do you think hurts her more?

Do you think OP should ignore her child's weight issue? It's a health issue. OP can address this in a loving nonjudgmental way, which is very different than what the kids are doing. My child is too skinny, I have to address my child's eating habits to make sure DC is making healthy choices and I have to check whether there is an underlying medical problem causing this, which is very different than kids picking on DC for being too skinny--which has happened.

[Anonymous]

Some 4th graders are on the verge of puberty, eat more, and get a bit chunky. Are you sure it's not just that?

Telling a 9 year old she needs to lose weight sounds like it may do more harm than good. Not to say you shouldn't limit access to junk food or get her moving, but don't make food the enemy at this age.

[Anonymous]

I also cut chunky in 4th grade and was made fun of a bit.

I ate too much junk - lots lots lots of after school snacks and sugary drinks and double portions at dinner. I did not play any sports and didn't really exercise.

First, talk to doctor about any undetected issues.

Don't buy junk regularly; allow it, but in single serve portions and sparingly. Serve reasonable portions in general. Don't restrict to the point of deprivation or talk about it too much. Fill up on lower calorie foods if she's already eaten or about to eat - veggies, fruit, unbuttered popcorn, sparkling water. Family walks, help her find an individual exercise she can like (girls this age are often too self conscious to play team sports with there skinny friends).

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I would suggest OP that you watch several documentaries on Netflix about food and what exactly is in our food, processed especially. I am sorry your DD is being bullied, that is very hard to cope with. The crying right away is because she is insecure. I know you are trying your best, but you are part of the problem.

You don't know that OP is part of the problem. Not every child's success or failure is due to parenting.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My sister was overweight growing up. She handled the comments differently than I think most did at her age. When someone called her fat, she would just say yep and keep it moving. It got to the point that kids didn't get a kick out of it once they realized their words had no affect on her. She also worked hard to lose weight. She played multiple sports and used the home gym. Parents got the whole family involved, even my skinny self. Sister is 30 with high self esteem and normal weight.

Something that also works is for you to say back "that's not a nice thing to say."

Please don't tell her to say this back.

While saying that would give most adults pause, saying it to 4th graders will only get her laughed at worse.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I would suggest OP that you watch several documentaries on Netflix about food and what exactly is in our food, processed especially. I am sorry your DD is being bullied, that is very hard to cope with. The crying right away is because she is insecure. I know you are trying your best, but you are part of the problem.

You don't know that OP is part of the problem. Not every child's success or failure is due to parenting.

A fourth grader is not driving to the grocery store and buying her own food.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I would suggest OP that you watch several documentaries on Netflix about food and what exactly is in our food, processed especially. I am sorry your DD is being bullied, that is very hard to cope with. The crying right away is because she is insecure. I know you are trying your best, but you are part of the problem.

You don't know that OP is part of the problem. Not every child's success or failure is due to parenting.

A fourth grader is not driving to the grocery store and buying her own food.

+1. If there's no junk food in the house and you don't buy it for her when you're out of the house, she's not going to be able to eat 99.9% of the junk food she's currently eating.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Running is the best exercise.

Talk to her teacher to stop the bullying. I think your dd should tease them back . Bullies want a target that doesn't fight back.

Running is terrible for the body - pounds your vertebrae down, hard on joints, knees, etc. Swimming is much more gentle on the body.

I'm in my 40's, and I recall having the exact same argument with my dad. Unfortunately, I was terrible at swimming, and it was torture for me. Running was one of the biggest influences in my life as a kid/young adult. I would go with what the child enjoys.

I had suggested running above. Swimming is also great, but putting in running shoes and running outside is much easier then getting your mom to drive you to a pool and gather your swim gear.

[Anonymous]

Diet has a much greater effect on weight loss than exercise; it won't matter if she's swimming or running daily if she's still eating too much.

[Anonymous]

ITS SAd but she needs to defend her self. she needs to loose weight. I know my X DW will get mad if I SAY THAT but is true. My X is 5'1 and 150 pounds is sad

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My sister was overweight growing up. She handled the comments differently than I think most did at her age. When someone called her fat, she would just say yep and keep it moving. It got to the point that kids didn't get a kick out of it once they realized their words had no affect on her. She also worked hard to lose weight. She played multiple sports and used the home gym. Parents got the whole family involved, even my skinny self. Sister is 30 with high self esteem and normal weight.

Something that also works is for you to say back "that's not a nice thing to say."

Please don't tell her to say this.

While saying that would give most adults pause, saying it to 4th graders will only get her laughed at worse.

+1000

4th & 5th grade is when the boys start getting really mean, if she says "that's not a nice thing to say" to them, they're only going to mock her worse. Do NOT tell her top day this to them. It could possible be one of THE worst things she could ever reply back.

[Anonymous]

Address this with the school. If they do nothing about it, get out of there. My son was damaged for life because of bulling he received in 1st and 2nd grade. He still hasn't recovered and he is in 8th grade now.

[Anonymous]

Definitely report the bullying.

Stay active together. Nothing wrong with cooking with her, but definitely stop "talking" about the weight. You're not talking with her you're talking at her. She knows. Just listen to her.

[Anonymous]

So she is getting teased because she is thin skinned. They are using her weight because it is easy.