Married, but bi?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:NP. Yes, your issue is nothing to do with being bi, but with wanting an open marriage. Lots of us bi people are monogamous with the person we marry. Their gender just happens to be a non-issue. I kind of hate when people equate bisexuality with being unable to be monogamous. It's a tired cliche, and one of the reasons people are leery of us.

So you need to pose your question as how to manage an open marriage. That's a valid question.

+1

I have no friends who have been in a monogamous marriage for over 20 years. Your question isn't based on being bi; it's based on wanting more than one partner.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:NP. Yes, your issue is nothing to do with being bi, but with wanting an open marriage. Lots of us bi people are monogamous with the person we marry. Their gender just happens to be a non-issue. I kind of hate when people equate bisexuality with being unable to be monogamous. It's a tired cliche, and one of the reasons people are leery of us.

So you need to pose your question as how to manage an open marriage. That's a valid question.

+1

I have no friends who have been in a monogamous marriage for over 20 years. Your question isn't based on being bi; it's based on wanting more than one partner.

^^^^

Oops! Should say "I have friends "! Don't know where the "no" came from. They exist, I swear!

[Anonymous]

OP, I'm in the exact same situation. Would you like to exchange contact info? I say that in all seriousness.

To those who criticized, I think OP mentioning she is bi is valid. It's not that bi = can't be monogamous, but that being in an open marriage and bi is challenging. As a bi married woman if I wanted to sleep with other men I could do so easily, but it is very difficult to find women yo date.

[Anonymous]

I hope you are letting your spouse know your marriage is open. He deserves to sleep with others too.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I hope you are letting your spouse know your marriage is open. He deserves to sleep with others too.

Ah well, you never know. Maybe he's bi too and wants to sleep with men

[Anonymous]

Bi woman who never acted on desires here. When I told PP that I wanted to sleep with a woman for my 40th birthday his first response was, "You should have gotten that out of your system before we met." But I was conventional and thought the desires would be fleeting. As I posted earlier, I have given up looking because meeting like-minded women is simply too difficult.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP, I'm in the exact same situation. Would you like to exchange contact info? I say that in all seriousness.

To those who criticized, I think OP mentioning she is bi is valid. It's not that bi = can't be monogamous, but that being in an open marriage and bi is challenging. As a bi married woman if I wanted to sleep with other men I could do so easily, but it is very difficult to find women yo date.

Not exactly sure how to get you contact info on here...

[Anonymous]

I am a female married to a female but consider myself sexually bisexual. I have slept with both and have attractions to both.
That doesnt mean I have a free pass to cheat on my wife though.
You made vows OP and you should stick to them or fess up to your partner that you cant.

[Anonymous]

What does your spouse think? I am also bi, married, and with kids and have no time for another relationship but it has nothing to do with being bi. Don't give us all a bad name.

[Anonymous]

Not to beat a dead horse but... I agree with many other posters on here. This sounds like a marriage/relationship issue. Not a bi issue. Not even sure if you really needed to add your sexuality up here. If you want an open marriage talk to your spouse about it. The hard part I believe might be finding other women who don't mind your open marriage. So yeah, good luck with that,

[Anonymous]

When you're married - in a traditional monogamous arrangement - your sexuality becomes pretty much irrelevant. I still lust after and crush on women, and men, but my (monogamous) marriage prohibits me from entertaining my interests.

Signed,

Queer woman married to a man

[Anonymous]

OP have you tried joining a polyamory group or meetup?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:When you're married - in a traditional monogamous arrangement - your sexuality becomes pretty much irrelevant. I still lust after and crush on women, and men, but my (monogamous) marriage prohibits me from entertaining my interests.

Signed,

Queer woman married to a man

Ditto.

[Anonymous]

I hope you are letting your spouse know your marriage is open. He deserves to sleep with others too

+1000

[Anonymous]

You’re married, buttface. Even if you’re ‘bisexual’ you shouldn’t be dating other people’ when you are married.