Playdate invite - no reply

[Anonymous]

Agree with everything 23:00 said.

Please give the parents of the child the benefit of the doubt. I feel like I receive an onslaught of emails, and I have only one child in elementary school and one child in preschool. I once attempted to arrange a play date through email for my ES child - the other child has 3 (or 4?) ES-aged siblings. I can easily see how my email could be lost in the shuffles of communications for that number of kids.

Of course it is best to respond, and politely decline if needed, rather than ignore. But sometimes that just doesn't happen so please think positively. Introduce yourself at the class party and see where things go.

[Anonymous]

If you aren't a safe sender, you go to my husbands spam 100% of the time... I'm sure they just missed it ...

[Anonymous]

You're overthinking OP. People have busy lives. Precision management of the social engagements of my kindergartener falls last of my list of things to worry about. Ask them at the event or email again. NBD.

[Anonymous]

You are embarrassed. That makes sense.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You're overthinking OP. People have busy lives. Precision management of the social engagements of my kindergartener falls last of my list of things to worry about. Ask them at the event or email again. NBD.

It's not precision management. It's displaying the competence to respond politely (yes or no) to an adult's email.

[Anonymous]

You never know what happened to that email. It could have been ignored, deleted, went to junk mail or simply forgot. Or maybe that kid never mention your child.
Hate when that happens.

I would be yourself and keep it friendly. You don't have to mention that email. You could mention, oh, so this is so and so. My child talks about your child all the time. Say it all with a smile. If they like you, they would mention that forgotten email. Don't give up so soon. A lot of times, it's the parents that don't want to deal with other parents or too busy to deal with playdates. Some thinks don't they spend enough time together in school, why do they need to see each other again on the weekends-aren't weekends are suppose to be with the family.

[Anonymous]

OP, it took me a year to figure out that the mom of my son's best friend at school wasn't avoiding me or trying to discourage play dates. She has a complicated custody schedule with her son, and probably also ADHD herself. She is actually super nice, and when I communicate at just the right moment our kids have a lovely play date. But my emails and messages go unanswered at least half the time.

Definitely introduce yourself at the classroom event. Even if they were purposely blowing you off, that is rude. You are not violating any social rules by being polite and saying hello. More likely they are just busy. It is Ok and not stalkerish to try for another play date, especially after you have met them.

[Anonymous]

"I was wondering if you saw my email about having Larla over. Let me know if it's something she might want to do!"

After you introduce yourself, say this ^. This is perfect.

[Anonymous]

Yes, do follow up. My son's friend's mom mentioned to me in person that she had sent me an email about a playdate. She had my email address wrong, so I had not received her message. I was really glad she brought it up or I never would have known and she would have thought I was blowing her off. My son was THRILLED about the invitation once we got it.

[Anonymous]

Thank you to all of you who replied. To the poster who asked if I went back and double-checked for any typos in the email address, yep, I did.

I found all of these replies helpful. It was reassuring that many of you think this is likely to be inadvertent. To those of you who said I'm overthinking it... yes, I know. I'm a little introverted, though, so for someone like myself there's a higher barrier to reaching out, and a bigger emotional penalty when you hear nothing back. Hope that makes sense.

[Anonymous]

Are you in arlington? If so, the mom's email could he clogged with Mona emails and she didn't see it. Just a thought. Try texting.

[Anonymous]

I would introduce myself at the event and say "my son has been asking to have a playdate with yours. Let me know if you think he'd be up for that so we can plan something".

[Anonymous]

Just wait until 3rd grade when kids can arrange their own playdates.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:What ever happened to calling people on the phone? Does anyone actually talk to people anymore when they make plans?

No. Most people don't. Except my mom and my grandma. But I've learned to get my mom to text dates and times when we plan things because if we do talk on the phone, she says the wrong time or date then gets mad at me for not being there when she expects me. So in addition to texts and emails being more convenient for most people, it's nice to have the schedule in writing in case someone needs a reminder. Also, I can just tap the event and add it to my calendar when someone texts or emails it to me. So much easier than cold calling someone I have nothing in common with except a child in the same class.

[Anonymous]

This is really common around here. I just move on and suggest my daughter find someone else to invite over since her friend's mother won't reply.