Friends and technology- Parenting differently.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP, my straight-A 8th grader is a total screen addict. It's annoying sometimes, but it hasn't really affected her achievement in school. Also, for every minute she spends playing Minecraft, she also researches things on Youtube and learns how to knit or do some other type of craft. Just FWIW.

+1. We allow nearly unlimited use of technology (unless it would be inappropriate in a given situation) as long as it's not causing a problem in DD's life, as defined by interfering with her ability to meet her other obligations such as school, family, volunteering, health, etc. I have high expectations for my children but I see little reason to impose limits on most things if my kids are showing enough responsibility and self-discipline to figure out how to meet expectations on their own without my intervention.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:One of my groups of friends- friends from when our kids weee in kindergarten together now they're in eighth grade are extremely strict on technology use. One mom won't even allow a phone until college. Several don't allow tv or video games unless sports. One doesn't allow pop music. These are not religious people, but are extremely grade and achievement oriented. Most Ivy League or similar. I have a much looser way of handling electronics, etc. and feel my child needs to figure this stuff out and make mistakes even at this age. I've certainly been through parenting differences before - but this one is getting under my skin as there's a lot of sanctimony and judgement behind it. Advice? It's a major topic of conversation for the group and usually I just bite my tongue but lately I find myself increasingly annoyed.

How is there sanctimony? Give an example... Do you actual have evidence that they're secretly allowing technology use while preaching against it? If not, I don't how there is any sanctimony...

Sanctimony, often involves hypocrisy, but the definition does not require it. It's more "holier than thou" see Oxford Dictionary "Making a show of being morally superior to other people:"
‘what happened to all the sanctimonious talk about putting his family first?’

[Anonymous]

When people tell me what they are doing to give their kids an "advantage" I'm ok with it. When they tell me I should also be doing it, I always ask "If everyone does something, isn't the "advantage" gone?"

[Anonymous]

Eh I had a friend I made when our firsts were babies amd then she went the strict Waldorf route. It is too extreme IMO and starts to become rather cult-like.

[Anonymous]

I had planned to be strict, except my 7 year old started getting into coding and creating code. When I realized she was actually really good at it we let her have unlimited access to computers. Now she is going to a math and science program on scholarship.

Not everything is sexting and YouTube.

[Anonymous]

Doesn't allow pop music? What could possibly be the point?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, my straight-A 8th grader is a total screen addict. It's annoying sometimes, but it hasn't really affected her achievement in school. Also, for every minute she spends playing Minecraft, she also researches things on Youtube and learns how to knit or do some other type of craft. Just FWIW.

+1. We allow nearly unlimited use of technology (unless it would be inappropriate in a given situation) as long as it's not causing a problem in DD's life, as defined by interfering with her ability to meet her other obligations such as school, family, volunteering, health, etc. I have high expectations for my children but I see little reason to impose limits on most things if my kids are showing enough responsibility and self-discipline to figure out how to meet expectations on their own without my intervention.

Oof. I watched too much TV and played nintendo too much growing up and it didn't interfere with anything that my parents would have noticed, but man was it bad for me. I wish we didn't have a TV growing up or my parents found a way to lock it up for all but 1-2 hrs/day. I think it exacerbated my sense of isolation and depression. It's simply not good for your developing brain or eyes to be on the screen so much, even if you're doing fine in school and have friends/activities/etc.