Found out that I was played for a fool

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Wow the responses are mature. I think of the other woman who likely is clueless about his cheating. Shouldn't the OP let her know?

Chances are the new girlfriend won't believe OP and will think OP is just being jealous and trying to get her ex back.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:So tired of this stuff. Should I do anything here, or just learn and move on?

I dated a guy for two years. He always said that he wanted to marry me. We never fought. We had a great time together - always! Really just ideal.

So one day he started acting differently. Just less into me. Within two weeks he broke with me. It was hard, but I accepted it. He gave some lame excuse (a non-reason, really).

So I just found out that he had been cheating on me for 1/4 (at least) of our relationship and is now LIVING with this woman. Three weeks ago he was talking about our future.

I know I should just realize that I dodged a bullet (cheater) and move on. But I feel so stupid and played. I really want to text him and tell him that I know what a cheater he is.

Should I let this go? Some sort of crazy revenge? I am just so sad over it and I want to feel better. Any advice for me? Thank you.

Be mad about the time you lost and can't get back, then move on. You did dodge a bullet. Imagine you had found this out and you were face down in a marriage with kids.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Wow the responses are mature. I think of the other woman who likely is clueless about his cheating. Shouldn't the OP let her know?

Chances are the new girlfriend won't believe OP and will think OP is just being jealous and trying to get her ex back.

Don't even bother saying anything to her. This is where most people get themselves into trouble. She probably knew about you and he told her some story on why he was seeing you both and that had to let you down slowly. She thought she was "special" and that he would never cheat on her because their relationship was the pinnacle of wonderfulness. Now she is you and believes their relationship is "special" and he will be committed to her and her alone. There is nothing you can tell her to get past this delusion. If she was the sort to listen to you, she wouldn't be dating him in the first place.

[Anonymous]

This happened to me and I later found out that he'd gotten someone pregnant and was marrying her as a result. I was devastated at the time, but 15 years later I can look back and know that he wasn't the right person for me.

[Anonymous]

Thanks everyone. It so hard for two reasons. One, I thought I had finally found a good guy. Clearly my instincts and "picker" are defective, and that scares me.

Secondly, I loved him. He completely shattered my heart. The breaking up was bad enough, but now knowing that he was cheating and that he was preparing to set up house with her while still professing his love for me just stabs my heart.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Thanks everyone. It so hard for two reasons. One, I thought I had finally found a good guy. Clearly my instincts and "picker" are defective, and that scares me.

Secondly, I loved him. He completely shattered my heart. The breaking up was bad enough, but now knowing that he was cheating and that he was preparing to set up house with her while still professing his love for me just stabs my heart.

Your instincts aren't defective they just need some fine tuning. Take this time to look back and learn. Think about times when his time was unaccountable or the reason/excuse he gave for things were a little off. Think about the things you blew off and now realize were big red flags for other issues. How open was he to see his phone, did he have multiple phones and not a good reason for it like work? Learn from your mistakes and don't repeat them.

[Anonymous]

breakup sex is the best sex - just sayin.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Thanks everyone. It so hard for two reasons. One, I thought I had finally found a good guy. Clearly my instincts and "picker" are defective, and that scares me.

Secondly, I loved him. He completely shattered my heart. The breaking up was bad enough, but now knowing that he was cheating and that he was preparing to set up house with her while still professing his love for me just stabs my heart.

Sorry you are hurting. This will pass in time. I doesn't feel like it but you are the better person. Be thankful you didn't get married and have kids. You can move on from this and be with a better person. Don't be a smuck to get revenge because you're better than that.