DH insists 6 month old DD sleeps with us

[Anonymous]

Maybe DH has read the AAP's recommendations. Room share—keep baby's sleep area in the same room where you sleep for the first 6 months or, ideally, for the first year. Place your baby's crib, bassinet, portable crib, or play yard in your bedroom, close to your bed. The AAP recommends room sharing because it can decrease the risk of SIDS by as much as 50% and is much safer than bed sharing. In addition, room sharing will make it easier for you to feed, comfort, and watch your baby.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Maybe DH has read the AAP's recommendations. Room share—keep baby's sleep area in the same room where you sleep for the first 6 months or, ideally, for the first year. Place your baby's crib, bassinet, portable crib, or play yard in your bedroom, close to your bed. The AAP recommends room sharing because it can decrease the risk of SIDS by as much as 50% and is much safer than bed sharing. In addition, room sharing will make it easier for you to feed, comfort, and watch your baby.

Our pediatrician says 6 months is fine. We know a couple pediatricians who were bewildered when AAP came out with that recommendation. It's likely just for liability purposes.

[Anonymous]

I knew after first night of child in room that it would not work. I could not sleep this way. I was awake for every lil sound while DH snored blissfully asleep. I explained why it didn't work for me. DH was told that if I don't sleep all he'll will break loose literally. The baby was moved. We all survived. Used a baby monitor but could not sleep in same room.

[Anonymous]

When our dd moved to the other room at 6 months, it was a total game changer. Everyone got much better sleep and we're all better for it. I wasn't waking up from every little grunt, dd was learning to self-soothe more, and I was no longer resenting dh for his ability to sleep through it all.

Now dd is 2 years old, says goodnight, and walks upstairs to go to bed. It's awesome.

[Anonymous]

When mine was six months old, we had her get her own apartment.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:When mine was six months old, we had her get her own apartment.

+1000 I like this idea.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Maybe DH has read the AAP's recommendations. Room share—keep baby's sleep area in the same room where you sleep for the first 6 months or, ideally, for the first year. Place your baby's crib, bassinet, portable crib, or play yard in your bedroom, close to your bed. The AAP recommends room sharing because it can decrease the risk of SIDS by as much as 50% and is much safer than bed sharing. In addition, room sharing will make it easier for you to feed, comfort, and watch your baby.

Our pediatrician says 6 months is fine. We know a couple pediatricians who were bewildered when AAP came out with that recommendation. It's likely just for liability purposes.

We're getting off topic from the OP (OP, I agree with your plan to sleep elsewhere if he isn't going to handle his nights properly so you can get rest in your room -- the issue is less about the baby being in your room and more about him letting her go too far gone before getting up to soothe her back to sleep), but...

Does anyone else find it kind of odd that we share beds as adults, but we expect babies to be sleeping in their own room pretty quickly? It's common to hear people talk about how lonely their bed feels after divorce, if a spouse is traveling or deployed, etc. but we don't think kids should share beds? Many people find it very odd if siblings share a bed, yet as adults, one of the things that we often find comfort in is sharing our bed with someone. Many people like to cuddle to fall asleep, and if we hear a noise in the middle of the night, we're glad someone else is there to wake up and say "Did you hear that?!"

I'm pretty anti-crunchy and generally "suck it up buttercup" when it comes to kids. It just seems so strange to me how we treat sleeping & babies. If you look at basically all of human history up until... oh, 100 years ago? If that, many people lived in single room houses much longer -- people were sharing rooms, if not beds, to sleep.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Maybe DH has read the AAP's recommendations. Room share—keep baby's sleep area in the same room where you sleep for the first 6 months or, ideally, for the first year. Place your baby's crib, bassinet, portable crib, or play yard in your bedroom, close to your bed. The AAP recommends room sharing because it can decrease the risk of SIDS by as much as 50% and is much safer than bed sharing. In addition, room sharing will make it easier for you to feed, comfort, and watch your baby.

Our pediatrician says 6 months is fine. We know a couple pediatricians who were bewildered when AAP came out with that recommendation. It's likely just for liability purposes.

We're getting off topic from the OP (OP, I agree with your plan to sleep elsewhere if he isn't going to handle his nights properly so you can get rest in your room -- the issue is less about the baby being in your room and more about him letting her go too far gone before getting up to soothe her back to sleep), but...

Does anyone else find it kind of odd that we share beds as adults, but we expect babies to be sleeping in their own room pretty quickly? It's common to hear people talk about how lonely their bed feels after divorce, if a spouse is traveling or deployed, etc. but we don't think kids should share beds? Many people find it very odd if siblings share a bed, yet as adults, one of the things that we often find comfort in is sharing our bed with someone. Many people like to cuddle to fall asleep, and if we hear a noise in the middle of the night, we're glad someone else is there to wake up and say "Did you hear that?!"

I'm pretty anti-crunchy and generally "suck it up buttercup" when it comes to kids. It just seems so strange to me how we treat sleeping & babies. If you look at basically all of human history up until... oh, 100 years ago? If that, many people lived in single room houses much longer -- people were sharing rooms, if not beds, to sleep.

I find this whole "sleep training" culture very strange. Sleep is a very natural thing, so why are we training children on how to sleep? Do we "food train" them? Some would like to compare it to potty training, but potty training takes 3 days or less and you do not have to do it over and over again. Cuddle a "sleep trained" child for 3 nights and the whole thing falls apart. We all like human touch and comfort.

I was married for 3 years before we had kids. During those 3 years, I fell asleep in my husband's arms on most nights. I miss those days. It was very comforting and relaxing. My 3.5 year old falls asleep easily by herself. My 19 month old likes to cuddle, and we let her when we are available. If we are not home, it's harder for her to fall asleep because we cannot require sitters to cuddle her. On those days or nights, she might cry a little if she is not cuddled to sleep, or she might take longer to fall asleep, but she is just fine. There is no need to "sleep train" her so that she can survive when we are not there; just like there was no need for me to refuse cuddling before kids because I would find it difficult to fall asleep now that we do not have as much time to cuddle.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Maybe DH has read the AAP's recommendations. Room share—keep baby's sleep area in the same room where you sleep for the first 6 months or, ideally, for the first year. Place your baby's crib, bassinet, portable crib, or play yard in your bedroom, close to your bed. The AAP recommends room sharing because it can decrease the risk of SIDS by as much as 50% and is much safer than bed sharing. In addition, room sharing will make it easier for you to feed, comfort, and watch your baby.

Our pediatrician says 6 months is fine. We know a couple pediatricians who were bewildered when AAP came out with that recommendation. It's likely just for liability purposes.

We're getting off topic from the OP (OP, I agree with your plan to sleep elsewhere if he isn't going to handle his nights properly so you can get rest in your room -- the issue is less about the baby being in your room and more about him letting her go too far gone before getting up to soothe her back to sleep), but...

Does anyone else find it kind of odd that we share beds as adults, but we expect babies to be sleeping in their own room pretty quickly? It's common to hear people talk about how lonely their bed feels after divorce, if a spouse is traveling or deployed, etc. but we don't think kids should share beds? Many people find it very odd if siblings share a bed, yet as adults, one of the things that we often find comfort in is sharing our bed with someone. Many people like to cuddle to fall asleep, and if we hear a noise in the middle of the night, we're glad someone else is there to wake up and say "Did you hear that?!"

I'm pretty anti-crunchy and generally "suck it up buttercup" when it comes to kids. It just seems so strange to me how we treat sleeping & babies. If you look at basically all of human history up until... oh, 100 years ago? If that, many people lived in single room houses much longer -- people were sharing rooms, if not beds, to sleep.

W are really not a crunchy family but my husband grew up poor and never had his own room. He often had uncles or cousins sharing a room with him. I was put into my own room when I was 4 weeks old (my mother said I made too much noise). He thought it was the meanest thing in the world to put a helpless baby in their own room, so on night that I needed sleep I spent the night in another room while he stayed in our room with the baby. He slept well so it worked for us.