Lesson in tact re: please GTF out of my face

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I am sensitive, but I have very hurtful memories of my mom always having a "god, you again?" attitude with me and feeling like she was always annoyed with me. She would also say things like "mommy's ears are tired" when I would talk to her and that she couldn't wait until we were out of the house (brother and myself) so that she could get a 2 seat convertible, one seat for her and one seat for her hand bag.

I get what you're feeling and you're certainly entitled to set boundaries with some of the PP's suggestions, but my 2 cents are to be mindful of how you go about communicating your need to be alone. It might be nice to emphasize something like "later on when I'm rested I'm going to really enjoy doing x,y,z with you."

I am a mom and my kids are now teens. Even now, sometimes they just barge in my bathroom! I do get annoyed, but try to keep my humor about it. You kind of sound like my sister, I would be completely drained of her non stop talking when we were growing up. Mom didn't care at all, so here I was listening and listening and listening, all the same topic for hours, and days, and weeks. She can't ever let anything go. From that point of view I can understand your mom, especially is she is an introvert and you are not. But, still, saying she can't wait till you are out of the house is needlessly hurtful and selfish behavior on her part. So, I can see both views. Now that my kids are older teens, I miss all of their chatter(bar the bathroom intrusion!). I hope you and your mom are getting along now, and have put all this behind you? As for OP, I would guess that she is just drained from the baby and seeing how SAHM is new to her, it will take some time to get used to it. There could be some PPD going on as well, as OP sounds really angry about a very normal thing. She should make sure she takes time for herself, but this language directed at a nine year old is a bit much.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am sensitive, but I have very hurtful memories of my mom always having a "god, you again?" attitude with me and feeling like she was always annoyed with me. She would also say things like "mommy's ears are tired" when I would talk to her and that she couldn't wait until we were out of the house (brother and myself) so that she could get a 2 seat convertible, one seat for her and one seat for her hand bag.

I get what you're feeling and you're certainly entitled to set boundaries with some of the PP's suggestions, but my 2 cents are to be mindful of how you go about communicating your need to be alone. It might be nice to emphasize something like "later on when I'm rested I'm going to really enjoy doing x,y,z with you."

I am a mom and my kids are now teens. Even now, sometimes they just barge in my bathroom! I do get annoyed, but try to keep my humor about it. You kind of sound like my sister, I would be completely drained of her non stop talking when we were growing up. Mom didn't care at all, so here I was listening and listening and listening, all the same topic for hours, and days, and weeks. She can't ever let anything go. From that point of view I can understand your mom, especially is she is an introvert and you are not. But, still, saying she can't wait till you are out of the house is needlessly hurtful and selfish behavior on her part. So, I can see both views. Now that my kids are older teens, I miss all of their chatter(bar the bathroom intrusion!). I hope you and your mom are getting along now, and have put all this behind you? As for OP, I would guess that she is just drained from the baby and seeing how SAHM is new to her, it will take some time to get used to it. There could be some PPD going on as well, as OP sounds really angry about a very normal thing. She should make sure she takes time for herself, but this language directed at a nine year old is a bit much.

PP here. I also see both points of view, I don't think OP is wrong for wanting time alone. I just think that the way parents speak to kids makes a real impact, in particular if the child is sensitive. I think it's easy for a parent to feel like a kid should automatically know they are loved (they are taken care of after all) despite harsh language, and so it's nice if parents are mindful of that. You can ask for personal space without emphasizing how ridiculously overwhelmed you are by your child. But it sounds like you generally agree with that point.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am sensitive, but I have very hurtful memories of my mom always having a "god, you again?" attitude with me and feeling like she was always annoyed with me. She would also say things like "mommy's ears are tired" when I would talk to her and that she couldn't wait until we were out of the house (brother and myself) so that she could get a 2 seat convertible, one seat for her and one seat for her hand bag.

I get what you're feeling and you're certainly entitled to set boundaries with some of the PP's suggestions, but my 2 cents are to be mindful of how you go about communicating your need to be alone. It might be nice to emphasize something like "later on when I'm rested I'm going to really enjoy doing x,y,z with you."

I am a mom and my kids are now teens. Even now, sometimes they just barge in my bathroom! I do get annoyed, but try to keep my humor about it. You kind of sound like my sister, I would be completely drained of her non stop talking when we were growing up. Mom didn't care at all, so here I was listening and listening and listening, all the same topic for hours, and days, and weeks. She can't ever let anything go. From that point of view I can understand your mom, especially is she is an introvert and you are not. But, still, saying she can't wait till you are out of the house is needlessly hurtful and selfish behavior on her part. So, I can see both views. Now that my kids are older teens, I miss all of their chatter(bar the bathroom intrusion!). I hope you and your mom are getting along now, and have put all this behind you? As for OP, I would guess that she is just drained from the baby and seeing how SAHM is new to her, it will take some time to get used to it. There could be some PPD going on as well, as OP sounds really angry about a very normal thing. She should make sure she takes time for herself, but this language directed at a nine year old is a bit much.

PP here. I also see both points of view, I don't think OP is wrong for wanting time alone. I just think that the way parents speak to kids makes a real impact, in particular if the child is sensitive. I think it's easy for a parent to feel like a kid should automatically know they are loved (they are taken care of after all) despite harsh language, and so it's nice if parents are mindful of that. You can ask for personal space without emphasizing how ridiculously overwhelmed you are by your child. But it sounds like you generally agree with that point.

Same pp here. Yes, it seem like we are in total agreement!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I need space from Sig-O and kids in evenings. We have a 9 y/o and 9 m/o. Graphic designer that recently left work force to raise / breastfeed 9 m/o. Still occasionally freelances. I need a window during which I want to be left alone. I have guilt over these feelings relative to my 9 y/o. I'm looking for a thoughtful way to not hurt his feelings if I ask this. I can help him occupy his time in the afternoons but he's RIGHT back in my face in five minutes if there's iPad/tv/tech. 9 m/o is a whole NOTHER story obviously since she relies on me for milk. I need like a rule...mommy's office hours have expired please get lost---type of thing. Please type to me what has worked for you.

Wow. Why did you have kids, OP?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Reality of SAHM. Leave him with your DH. Nine year old should be old enough to occupy himself for a while? Is he hyper?

My nine year old is a breeze. Try a 3 year old and a newborn.

[Anonymous]

1. Wean baby.
2. Hire mother's helper for the evenings.

You're not going to get the quiet time you need without this. Your SO needs downtime in the evening, too.