What the hell..

[Anonymous]

Yes, I was the woman chased. For years nothing happened and then he did start flirting
His relationship was on shaky ground all along.
He was not a good guy but played one good to both of us

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Yes, I was the woman chased. For years nothing happened and then he did start flirting
His relationship was on shaky ground all along.
He was not a good guy but played one good to both of us

Same here, I was also the woman chase. What appeared to be a good guy, turned out to be a major manipulator. The minute I would start dating he couldn't get enough of me. Finally had to just tell him to shit or get off the pot. I didn't wait around, I just ended the friendship cause he wasn't a friend and I still to this day don't know what it is he wanted. Heard later he got divorced and it was a rough divorce.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:So I have been dating this guy off the Web for almost a year now. We live a good distance apart so haven't seen each other for total of 90 days in that year but we have spent several weeks together at a time. We both have children from previous marriages. So recently I decided on have an extended stay with him to get to know him and his family and friends better. He has told me about one of his friends before that he is very close with and I met her for the very first time. OK, I never asked him to describe her, and thats my fault, but I feel like I have been lied to about the nature of their relationship. He told me she was a woman in her 50's who was very supportive. He made me think she was matronly with sensible shoes. I just met a 5'10" version of Hallie Berry. She maybe in her 50s but she appears to in early 40s if not younger. The aren't good friends they are best friends. Went out to lunch him him and her and other coworkers. I heard mention of him at her house (some monstrosity mini mansion), her at his house,routine lunches, texting,messaging on other apps. She is >10yrs older than him.She is single and from what I can tell is also loaded. She doesn't want him but I am convinced he wants her. What am I chopped IIver? Am I making to much of this? There should a disturbing level of intimacy between them. Something that I feel should be mine and not hers.

Is there any way you can wean him off of her? What is he reaching out to her that he isn't reaching out to you for? The distance isn't going to make it easy but if you can slowly replace what ever he is getting from her with you maybe she just disappears.

[Anonymous]

Let this guy go. Fund someone near you that will be crazy about you!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm very familiar with this dynamic.
He likes the chase and she likes the attention
Id guess they flirt over text too. You will always feel like the third wheel.
I wouldn't end it over this but you should keep your options open and find a new man.
These types of men often blur boundaries and cheat. Every one of them that I knew did.

I have never seen the text just the mention text in the past about different subjects. I don't think I want to see the text. I am more astonished by the fact that she is literally the polar opposite of me. [i]So it makes me ask what is he wants or is the answer to that that he has no clue.[/quote

What do you mean, OP? You described as a loaded, stunning, tall, Halle Berry look-alike. So are you the physical opposite? Short, poor, unattractive? Or did you mean personality-wise? Overall, you feel very jealous like there's something between them and there is something to be said about trusting your gut instinct.

[Anonymous]

There was a similar post within the past year. there was a lot of good advice, but I'm not sure how you would search for the thread.

[Anonymous]

Here is the previous thread. A very similar situation.

http://www.dcurbanmom.com/jforum/posts/list/569389.page


Good luck to you op. Tough situation

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:If nothing else you might be a V8. You are his second choice. So if she never changes her mind no big deal. But if she does, what happens then. Someone that much older than him isn't likely to change her mind. If she does look like Hallie Berry she can pick from just about any one she wants no matter how cute your boyfriend is. Befriend her, you know the adage, keep your friends close and your enemies closer. Find out what her motivations are, find out from your boyfriend why he is panting after someone so much older than him. He has to know that won't work. What is his draw to her at that age?

Well...let's see:

- She's hot
- She's loaded
- She has no kids
- She's HOT
- She lives in the same city as him
- She owns her own mini-mansion

Just off the top of my head there...

[Anonymous]

Trust your gut. If it makes you uncomfortable, call it off. You have kids. Don't do this to them.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm very familiar with this dynamic.
He likes the chase and she likes the attention
Id guess they flirt over text too. You will always feel like the third wheel.
I wouldn't end it over this but you should keep your options open and find a new man.
These types of men often blur boundaries and cheat. Every one of them that I knew did.

I have never seen the text just the mention text in the past about different subjects. I don't think I want to see the text. I am more astonished by the fact that she is literally the polar opposite of me. [i]So it makes me ask what is he wants or is the answer to that that he has no clue.[/quote

What do you mean, OP? You described as a loaded, stunning, tall, Halle Berry look-alike. So are you the physical opposite? Short, poor, unattractive? Or did you mean personality-wise? Overall, you feel very jealous like there's something between them and there is something to be said about trusting your gut instinct.

I am 5'4" on a good day. I am not fat and work out regularly but more boyish figure. Not working and not home owner and not black, not that has anything to do with things. There few if any similarities, would almost understand if similar but nothing. I know guys have type but who is this broad.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:
I am 5'4" on a good day. I am not fat and work out regularly but more boyish figure. Not working and not home owner and not black, not that has anything to do with things. There few if any similarities, would almost understand if similar but nothing. I know guys have type but who is this broad.

Maybe he has a type and just won't own up to it. Or maybe she's not his type at all and they're just friends. There's a lot of supposition in this thread.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If nothing else you might be a V8. You are his second choice. So if she never changes her mind no big deal. But if she does, what happens then. Someone that much older than him isn't likely to change her mind. If she does look like Hallie Berry she can pick from just about any one she wants no matter how cute your boyfriend is. Befriend her, you know the adage, keep your friends close and your enemies closer. Find out what her motivations are, find out from your boyfriend why he is panting after someone so much older than him. He has to know that won't work. What is his draw to her at that age?

Well...let's see:

- She's hot
- She's loaded
- She has no kids
- She's HOT
- She lives in the same city as him
- She owns her own mini-mansion

Just off the top of my head there...

And some guys just have a preference for or attraction to older women.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm very familiar with this dynamic.
He likes the chase and she likes the attention
Id guess they flirt over text too. You will always feel like the third wheel.
I wouldn't end it over this but you should keep your options open and find a new man.
These types of men often blur boundaries and cheat. Every one of them that I knew did.

I have never seen the text just the mention text in the past about different subjects. I don't think I want to see the text. I am more astonished by the fact that she is literally the polar opposite of me. So it makes me ask what is he wants or is the answer to that that he has no clue.

So you are short, fat, not cute, poor, live in a hovel? C'mon OP

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm very familiar with this dynamic.
He likes the chase and she likes the attention
Id guess they flirt over text too. You will always feel like the third wheel.
I wouldn't end it over this but you should keep your options open and find a new man.
These types of men often blur boundaries and cheat. Every one of them that I knew did.

I have never seen the text just the mention text in the past about different subjects. I don't think I want to see the text. I am more astonished by the fact that she is literally the polar opposite of me. So it makes me ask what is he wants or is the answer to that that he has no clue.

So you are short, fat, not cute, poor, live in a hovel? C'mon OP

She already said she was 5'4, regular weight with no curves, and unemployed. In other words the exact opposite of this 'other woman'. OP if I were you I'd be worried about taking care of my kids instead of this other woman who has everything most women (including myself) strive for.

[Anonymous]

Could they be FWB?