How to approach sensitive topic with DH (about some tics he has)

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You all and your conversations.

He's not a child. If he needs a doctor I'm sure he'll go. You keep conversating and he'll get mad then leave you.

BTW, my husband constantly makes old man smacking noises. My kids never did.

This is the OP. I don't even know if you're talking to me, but your comment makes no sense to me.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'm not sure why you haven't had this coversation ever, but definitely ask him point blank about it, if he knows the cause, when it started etc. I'm sure more information than less will be helpful if your children ever start showing similar mannerisms.

Thanks. From what I understand, some tic behaviors can have other underlying causes, so I agree that more information is important.

I have broached the topic before, but didn't press, and he didn't offer more information.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here. Some head nodding, abdominal flexing. There is one that involves his throat/breathing, but I wouldn't call it throat clearing, as it is not audible.

I don't recall noticing the tics early on in our dating, but maybe I was just oblivious, or maybe he was suppressing them. When I did notice them, I thought they were probably just within the realm of quirky mannerisms, that everyone probably has one or two of.

OP, just ignore them. Geez--this hardly would impact your flow of conversation. You sound incredibly selfish and self-centered.

Okay, yes, I am a crazy monster, and clearly inferior to you. Now that we've established that, maybe you can take your helpfulness and name calling to another thread.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Head nodding and abdominal flexing do not sound like tics.

I am the PP whose family members have tics. These are exactly the types of tics they have. Eye rolling is another one. They change on a regular basis.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm not sure why you haven't had this coversation ever, but definitely ask him point blank about it, if he knows the cause, when it started etc. I'm sure more information than less will be helpful if your children ever start showing similar mannerisms.

Thanks. From what I understand, some tic behaviors can have other underlying causes, so I agree that more information is important.

I have broached the topic before, but didn't press, and he didn't offer more information.

I would say if it's not severe enough that he has had to seek treatment, it's not worth making an issue out of. There's nothing you can do to prevent it if your children inherit it. And you likely wouldn't treat them, either.

[Anonymous]

It's called Tourette's.

[Anonymous]

I can't see a talk on this topic going anywhere and it will only make you look nitpicky and mean-spirited.

[Anonymous]

Maybe go see The Accountant together and seque from there?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Head nodding and abdominal flexing do not sound like tics.

I am the PP whose family members have tics. These are exactly the types of tics they have. Eye rolling is another one. They change on a regular basis.

+1

[Anonymous]

I have experience with tics in our family. You just have to tell him your concern directly. If he has not already it would not hurt to have an evaluation by a neurologist, who will likely say they are just tics, but there is medication that can suppress some tics if they interfere with other areas of his life. (Begins with a "C" -- don't remember the name). You say you didn't notice them while dating -- he may have been more self conscious about them then. A tic is like an itch -- you can suppress scratching, but you really want to.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Head nodding and abdominal flexing do not sound like tics.

I am the PP whose family members have tics. These are exactly the types of tics they have. Eye rolling is another one. They change on a regular basis.

+1

Depends on whether they are volitionak or not.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm not sure why you haven't had this coversation ever, but definitely ask him point blank about it, if he knows the cause, when it started etc. I'm sure more information than less will be helpful if your children ever start showing similar mannerisms.

Thanks. From what I understand, some tic behaviors can have other underlying causes, so I agree that more information is important.

I have broached the topic before, but didn't press, and he didn't offer more information.

I would say if it's not severe enough that he has had to seek treatment, it's not worth making an issue out of. There's nothing you can do to prevent it if your children inherit it. And you likely wouldn't treat them, either.

I disagree, I don't think OP should ignore this anymore. Her DH may be uncomfortable for a day or so after the conversation, but he'll be alright.