Online dating and divorced-exhausting

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Perhaps dating shouldn't be at the top of your priority list now.

It seems like it is an actual CHORE to you at this point & time in your life.

When your kids get older + more independent perhaps you can resume dating again, but for now you need to focus more on the other important things in your life now.

NP--that's it. It's a CHORE. Just one more thing I have to do before I can go to bed. I went out last night on a 3rd date and it was the last one with him. I found myself thinking of how much the date was costing me in that I have to pay the sitter. It wasn't worth the money. Hopefully he won't call again.

[Anonymous]

This is interesting because I'm a divorced working mom with 2/3 custody, and I'm an introvert. I love to spend time with a lot of friends and go out with them, but I really don't enjoy meeting new people.

When I was just casually online dating, I seemed to still have lots of time to balance everything in my life and get everything done.

It's actually when I'm dating someone seriously like now that I can't get anything done! I'm either working, with kids, or with BF. It's hard to get to the gym and see friends, must less do home projects, catch up with bills, do the supermarket and dry cleaners and all the things that married moms take for granted.

I'm tired! Happy, but tired. My kids ALWAYS come first, so they will never meet anyone I'm dating unless I'm ready to get engaged. And I really hate to spend a day with BF doing errands, but we're beginning to have to do it.

To me, the only part of my life that hasn't improved with divorce is juggling too many things. I figure I just have to suck it up for a couple of years. I don't want to miss a moment of my children's lives because they'll growing up so fast.

I wish I had some advice for you, OP, but I guess all I did was complain.

[Anonymous]

I love all the women complaining about how much time online dating takes. Could be worse. You could be a man and have it absorb your time and money. Sheesh.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Perhaps dating shouldn't be at the top of your priority list now.

It seems like it is an actual CHORE to you at this point & time in your life.

When your kids get older + more independent perhaps you can resume dating again, but for now you need to focus more on the other important things in your life now.

NP--that's it. It's a CHORE. Just one more thing I have to do before I can go to bed. I went out last night on a 3rd date and it was the last one with him. I found myself thinking of how much the date was costing me in that I have to pay the sitter. It wasn't worth the money. Hopefully he won't call again.

Out of interest. Did he pay for everything ? If he had to pay for sitter and dinner then I have zero sympathy for you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Perhaps dating shouldn't be at the top of your priority list now.

It seems like it is an actual CHORE to you at this point & time in your life.

When your kids get older + more independent perhaps you can resume dating again, but for now you need to focus more on the other important things in your life now.

NP--that's it. It's a CHORE. Just one more thing I have to do before I can go to bed. I went out last night on a 3rd date and it was the last one with him. I found myself thinking of how much the date was costing me in that I have to pay the sitter. It wasn't worth the money. Hopefully he won't call again.

Out of interest. Did he pay for everything ? If he had to pay for sitter and dinner then I have zero sympathy for you.

Huh? What date pays for your sitter? Never heard of this.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I love all the women complaining about how much time online dating takes. Could be worse. You could be a man and have it absorb your time and money. Sheesh.

Why would it be worse as a man than a woman?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Perhaps dating shouldn't be at the top of your priority list now.

It seems like it is an actual CHORE to you at this point & time in your life.

When your kids get older + more independent perhaps you can resume dating again, but for now you need to focus more on the other important things in your life now.

NP--that's it. It's a CHORE. Just one more thing I have to do before I can go to bed. I went out last night on a 3rd date and it was the last one with him. I found myself thinking of how much the date was costing me in that I have to pay the sitter. It wasn't worth the money. Hopefully he won't call again.

Out of interest. Did he pay for everything ? If he had to pay for sitter and dinner then I have zero sympathy for you.

Huh? What date pays for your sitter? Never heard of this.

No - I meant he might be paying for a sitter for his kids AND paying for the date.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Perhaps dating shouldn't be at the top of your priority list now.

It seems like it is an actual CHORE to you at this point & time in your life.

When your kids get older + more independent perhaps you can resume dating again, but for now you need to focus more on the other important things in your life now.

NP--that's it. It's a CHORE. Just one more thing I have to do before I can go to bed. I went out last night on a 3rd date and it was the last one with him. I found myself thinking of how much the date was costing me in that I have to pay the sitter. It wasn't worth the money. Hopefully he won't call again.

Out of interest. Did he pay for everything ? If he had to pay for sitter and dinner then I have zero sympathy for you.

He doesn't have children. Our dates have consisted of getting coffee and walking and talking. It's actually a nice get to you better date and what I've found is that I don't have a desire to sit down to dinner with him.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Why are you even looking for a "keeper"?

Date casually for a while. Have fun.

Because I enjoy being in a committed relationship with depth.

Then it would have been best to stay married. For all my divorced friends, online dating is just a series of hookups.

[Anonymous]

The "then it would have been best to stay married" comments are really offensive. I am glad that the PP has never met someone whose spouse initiated and insisted on getting divorced.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Why are you even looking for a "keeper"?

Date casually for a while. Have fun.

Because I enjoy being in a committed relationship with depth.

Then it would have been best to stay married. For all my divorced friends, online dating is just a series of hookups.

OP here-you're rude and offensive. You have no idea why I got divorced and I won't even humor you by telling you. Just know you're not a kind person and you're very limited.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Why are you even looking for a "keeper"?

Date casually for a while. Have fun.

Because I enjoy being in a committed relationship with depth.

Then it would have been best to stay married. For all my divorced friends, online dating is just a series of hookups.

OP here-you're rude and offensive. You have no idea why I got divorced and I won't even humor you by telling you. Just know you're not a kind person and you're very limited.

No the PP, but I certainly hope you had a really good reason to get divorced. Because it's hard when you're older with kids to meet suitable partners. Can you "date" your ex?

[Anonymous]

OP, ignore the rude anti-divorce poster(s).

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:The "then it would have been best to stay married" comments are really offensive. I am glad that the PP has never met someone whose spouse initiated and insisted on getting divorced.

Or whose spouse was abusive, unfaithful, addicted or mentally ill &refusing treatment. So many think that getting divorced is a choice. For many, even some who initiate it, divorce is not a choice, because it is not a healthy choice to stay in such unstable or dangerous relationships.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Why are you even looking for a "keeper"?

Date casually for a while. Have fun.

Because I enjoy being in a committed relationship with depth.

Then it would have been best to stay married. For all my divorced friends, online dating is just a series of hookups.

That's ridiculous

You sound like a wonderful friend and human being - and so happy with your own life. Thanks for this helpful post!