What consequence should I give to ds?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Apology to the teacher and no electronics for a week. He is never allow on your phone in the future. We give consequences at home if they get in trouble at school. Apology note and something else.

This!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Agree that you have to implement a consequence for the deletion of the email: your DS crossed a major line there. But I would also suggest that you must have a calm conversation about why he took that step. Is there a fear of judgment or anger that is clouding his decision-making? He needs to own up to that choice and understand what led him to it if he is to make better choices in the future.

I'd say he deleted it so his mother wouldn't know that he was disrespectful to his teacher. Disrespect toward others should always be addressed by parents. It's not always easy, but don't pass the buck solely onto the school. Tell your child that you expect him to treat all people with respect and that includes listening to his teacher and not interrupting instruction. When he does this, he disrespects the teacher and every other student in the room who misses out on instruction as a result of his antics.

[Anonymous]

Sorry to disagree with pretty much everything, although I know you all made sense. But what about the option of talking about it and discussing what happened and why without a punishing tine or attitude.. you might just find out he deleted it because he just can't take another reprimand, punishment, etc. For chrissakes, he had adhd and perhaps today this really was his absolute best. Wouldn't it feel crappy as heck to be doing your absolute best and get shat on from 2 different directions? It would be discouraging and disheartening. If it were my kid, I would start like that before meeting out punishments. See if there is more to it

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Sorry to disagree with pretty much everything, although I know you all made sense. But what about the option of talking about it and discussing what happened and why without a punishing tine or attitude.. you might just find out he deleted it because he just can't take another reprimand, punishment, etc. For chrissakes, he had adhd and perhaps today this really was his absolute best. Wouldn't it feel crappy as heck to be doing your absolute best and get shat on from 2 different directions? It would be discouraging and disheartening. If it were my kid, I would start like that before meeting out punishments. See if there is more to it

Aaaaaaand this is why your child will grow up thinking the world owes him everything and he can say and do whatever he wants because there is no such thing as punishment. Enough with the touchy-feely nonsense.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Sorry to disagree with pretty much everything, although I know you all made sense. But what about the option of talking about it and discussing what happened and why without a punishing tine or attitude.. you might just find out he deleted it because he just can't take another reprimand, punishment, etc. For chrissakes, he had adhd and perhaps today this really was his absolute best. Wouldn't it feel crappy as heck to be doing your absolute best and get shat on from 2 different directions? It would be discouraging and disheartening. If it were my kid, I would start like that before meeting out punishments. See if there is more to it

Aaaaaaand this is why your child will grow up thinking the world owes him everything and he can say and do whatever he wants because there is no such thing as punishment. Enough with the touchy-feely nonsense.

Amen! Discussion and consequences are not mutually exclusive.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Sorry to disagree with pretty much everything, although I know you all made sense. But what about the option of talking about it and discussing what happened and why without a punishing tine or attitude.. you might just find out he deleted it because he just can't take another reprimand, punishment, etc. For chrissakes, he had adhd and perhaps today this really was his absolute best. Wouldn't it feel crappy as heck to be doing your absolute best and get shat on from 2 different directions? It would be discouraging and disheartening. If it were my kid, I would start like that before meeting out punishments. See if there is more to it

Aaaaaaand this is why your child will grow up thinking the world owes him everything and he can say and do whatever he wants because there is no such thing as punishment. Enough with the touchy-feely nonsense.

Regardless of how someone "feels", the way the world works is you either behave properly or face the consequences of doing so. The consequence at school might be sufficient for disrespect to the teacher, but deleting OP's email was all kinds of wrong and needs to be dealt with. If my kids tried to get out of trouble for their actions with this attitude, I would tell them that people care more how you act than how you feel. That's life.

[Anonymous]

Wow deleting the email, that's terrible, I would ground to his room with no electronics and only school and activities he can't miss for 1 month. He goes to school then he is in his room completely alone for 1 month. No other human interaction at all unless he has a sport he can't miss then that is aloud.