Drowning!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This was the hardest stage for me and we have the same age gap. Once baby was closer to 12 or 18 months, it became easier because he could move around and they started to play and interact even more.

In terms of tips, I would sleep train and/or drop the overnight feeding as soon as you can. My second was not a great sleeper (and my older one went through a spell of bad sleeping around age 3.5) and so for months I would be in bed for 7-8 hours at a stretch, but exhausted because the sleep was interrupted at least once if not more per night. It's really hard. Get over that hump and things will start to feel a lot better.

When DH is traveling and you have both, set a timer or otherwise be strict on deadlines for the evening routine. Dinner can only take so long. I would bathe them together, shorten baby's routine and get him to bed, spend some time with your older, and then get older one to bed. Time with your older can be productive too. She can help pick out her clothes for the a.m., or set out breakfast dishes, or help load the dishwasher.

Keep lists on your phone. Part of my feelings of being overwhelmed came from trying to keep too many things in my head at once. DH and I have an app for shopping needs with shared lists for each store (grocery, drugstore, Costco). We have amazon prime and any needs go straight into the cart for immediate purchase or near-term purchase. I have a running list of to-dos, anywhere from buy some kid a birthday present to figure out nanny's holiday schedule. Knowing that I wrote it down helps me relax - it won't be forgotten, so I can focus on work when I'm at work, kids when I'm home, and then deal with the issue after bedtime.

Good luck! Really, in another six months to a year things will be great.

What app do you use for shared lists? I think that would be great for my wife and I since we often forget something when we sit down to make grocery & costco lists.

Not the pp but we use AnyList. You can make multiple lists and share them, really easy to use.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This was the hardest stage for me and we have the same age gap. Once baby was closer to 12 or 18 months, it became easier because he could move around and they started to play and interact even more.

In terms of tips, I would sleep train and/or drop the overnight feeding as soon as you can. My second was not a great sleeper (and my older one went through a spell of bad sleeping around age 3.5) and so for months I would be in bed for 7-8 hours at a stretch, but exhausted because the sleep was interrupted at least once if not more per night. It's really hard. Get over that hump and things will start to feel a lot better.

When DH is traveling and you have both, set a timer or otherwise be strict on deadlines for the evening routine. Dinner can only take so long. I would bathe them together, shorten baby's routine and get him to bed, spend some time with your older, and then get older one to bed. Time with your older can be productive too. She can help pick out her clothes for the a.m., or set out breakfast dishes, or help load the dishwasher.

Keep lists on your phone. Part of my feelings of being overwhelmed came from trying to keep too many things in my head at once. DH and I have an app for shopping needs with shared lists for each store (grocery, drugstore, Costco). We have amazon prime and any needs go straight into the cart for immediate purchase or near-term purchase. I have a running list of to-dos, anywhere from buy some kid a birthday present to figure out nanny's holiday schedule. Knowing that I wrote it down helps me relax - it won't be forgotten, so I can focus on work when I'm at work, kids when I'm home, and then deal with the issue after bedtime.

Good luck! Really, in another six months to a year things will be great.

What app do you use for shared lists? I think that would be great for my wife and I since we often forget something when we sit down to make grocery & costco lists.

Not the pp but we use AnyList. You can make multiple lists and share them, really easy to use.

I am the PP and Anylist is what we use! I believe it is free, which is probably why I picked it. But it is very easy to use.

[Anonymous]

Agree this is normal and that you are getting to the part where it starts to get better, or at least exhausting in a different way. Just try to buy yourself some down time every week for the next six months or so and then reevaluate. Taking a few hours off one day a week, paying a babysitter for a few hours on the weekend, outsourcing something you really don't enjoy.

Also, I was actually relieved that your post was not about an actual child actually drowning.

This too shall pass.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Sounds normal for 2 kids and 2 working parents. We, and most everyone we know went through the same period. It sounds like you already have the major tricks down (outsourcing cleaning, having a nanny). It will get easier...unless you decide to have another baby.

Absolutely unequivocally NO!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This was the hardest stage for me and we have the same age gap. Once baby was closer to 12 or 18 months, it became easier because he could move around and they started to play and interact even more.

In terms of tips, I would sleep train and/or drop the overnight feeding as soon as you can. My second was not a great sleeper (and my older one went through a spell of bad sleeping around age 3.5) and so for months I would be in bed for 7-8 hours at a stretch, but exhausted because the sleep was interrupted at least once if not more per night. It's really hard. Get over that hump and things will start to feel a lot better.

When DH is traveling and you have both, set a timer or otherwise be strict on deadlines for the evening routine. Dinner can only take so long. I would bathe them together, shorten baby's routine and get him to bed, spend some time with your older, and then get older one to bed. Time with your older can be productive too. She can help pick out her clothes for the a.m., or set out breakfast dishes, or help load the dishwasher.

Keep lists on your phone. Part of my feelings of being overwhelmed came from trying to keep too many things in my head at once. DH and I have an app for shopping needs with shared lists for each store (grocery, drugstore, Costco). We have amazon prime and any needs go straight into the cart for immediate purchase or near-term purchase. I have a running list of to-dos, anywhere from buy some kid a birthday present to figure out nanny's holiday schedule. Knowing that I wrote it down helps me relax - it won't be forgotten, so I can focus on work when I'm at work, kids when I'm home, and then deal with the issue after bedtime.

Good luck! Really, in another six months to a year things will be great.

What app do you use for shared lists? I think that would be great for my wife and I since we often forget something when we sit down to make grocery & costco lists.

I'm a different posted that mentioned earlier that we use google's "keep" product. You can access it online or via an app on your smart phone. You can even include photos. It is a game changer for us.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Agree this is normal and that you are getting to the part where it starts to get better, or at least exhausting in a different way. Just try to buy yourself some down time every week for the next six months or so and then reevaluate. Taking a few hours off one day a week, paying a babysitter for a few hours on the weekend, outsourcing something you really don't enjoy.

Also, I was actually relieved that your post was not about an actual child actually drowning.

This too shall pass.

No need to mommy shame! For some, adjusting to one is tough.

[Anonymous]

Yes, it's normal OP and you will get through it.

In the meantime though, give yourself a pass for as many things as possible. The house does not have to pristine, kids don't need a bath every day, you can use amazon prime or diapers.com or whatever works for you to just order food, supplies, etc... Find mother's helpers in your neighborhood to spell you a bit - especially on the weekends, etc...

Hang in there!

[Anonymous]

Also - I use my vacation time from work now to buy myself a little relief. A half day at work and then a half day to run errands, or get a pedicure, or have lunch w/ a friend, is hugely helpful to me emotionally.

[Anonymous]

My only trick for the exhaustion, not the workload, was fish oil. Made me bounce back quicker even though the workload did not improve.

[Anonymous]

normal. my strategy was to keep everyone alive until baby was 1... then I pushed that until 2. sounds like you probably have enough money to not have to cook a whole lot too. I'd seriously considering doing Galley, Instacart, etc. all the time.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Agree this is normal and that you are getting to the part where it starts to get better, or at least exhausting in a different way. Just try to buy yourself some down time every week for the next six months or so and then reevaluate. Taking a few hours off one day a week, paying a babysitter for a few hours on the weekend, outsourcing something you really don't enjoy.

Also, I was actually relieved that your post was not about an actual child actually drowning.

This too shall pass.

No need to mommy shame! For some, adjusting to one is tough.

What? How is that mommy shaming?

[Anonymous]

Definitely sleep train, write down lists, use Amazon prime to avoid as many errands as possible and also you subscribe and save, and set reminders on your phone. If I have to do something outside of my normal routine I set a reminder for the time I'm going to have to do it. For instance I set reminders for when I need to do something when I get home or when I get to work or at lunch.

My youngest is about 18 months old now, and I found that in both cases it was pretty much all about treading water until the baby turned one. Keep things as simple as you can, find as much joy as you can and do things you know will make you when your kids happy.

My kids age gap is somewhat similar to yours, and I can tell you that having a four-year-old and one-year-old is way way easier and more fun than having a three-year-old and a baby. It gets better.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Agree this is normal and that you are getting to the part where it starts to get better, or at least exhausting in a different way. Just try to buy yourself some down time every week for the next six months or so and then reevaluate. Taking a few hours off one day a week, paying a babysitter for a few hours on the weekend, outsourcing something you really don't enjoy.

Also, I was actually relieved that your post was not about an actual child actually drowning.

This too shall pass.

No need to mommy shame! For some, adjusting to one is tough.

What? How is that mommy shaming?

My bad. I read it wrong. I thought the last comment was about having one child. I'm sorry!

[Anonymous]

I have a baby and a toddler (3 months and 2.5 years+)
No advice but am in the same boat as you! I tell myself it will be worth it soon. I cannot imagine life without a sibling and so decided to have two children.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I have a baby and a toddler (3 months and 2.5 years+)
No advice but am in the same boat as you! I tell myself it will be worth it soon. I cannot imagine life without a sibling and so decided to have two children.

Op here- exactly why we had another