Seriously, how long does your man spend in the bathroom?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My DH takes his laptop into the bathroom with him. GROSS.

I do that sometimes too don't really see difference between magazine / book and laptop

[Anonymous]

18:18 here, forgot the topic: DH spends about 20 minutes in bathroom.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It is gross if you have IBS and shit splatters everywhere - and gets on your laptop bc it is on your lap

Well, of course that would be gross, but that has nothing to do with the laptop -- would be equally gross to get crap all over your book or magazine or whatever. I mean seriously, shit spray would be disgusting wherever it landed!! Plus, I don't know how it would get on your laptop if you had your legs together (i.e., to form a lap on which the laptop could rest). I'm just sayin'.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It is gross if you have IBS and shit splatters everywhere - and gets on your laptop bc it is on your lap

And if you have wireless it could go down the tubes and spray teh whole interweb with excerment!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I also thought it was drugs. BTW, don't sit on the toilet too long--might cause hemorrhoids ("Based on their very low incidence in the developing world, where people squat for bodily functions, hemorrhoids have been attributed to the use of the "sitting" toilet." http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hemorrhoids).

Fascinating...

This tidbit might actually help me move DH along and out of our only bathroom in the morning, though given our current setup with sitting toilet and all, I'm not sure I'd prefer him to hover over the seat instead.

DH takes an hour in the bathroom. Seriously. I think some of that time is groggy sitting, and he once described a complicated ritual requiring a pre-shower shave followed by a post-shower touch up. Maybe it was the other way around. Or maybe he stopped his shower, got out to shave, then resumed showering. That must have been it, because as an eminently sensible person, I offered him a shower shaving mirror to resolve this. As a less sensible, inefficient person, he declined.

He's gotten really into shaving products, ordering multiple shaving brushes and all kinds of lotions and creams. The good news is that I don't get the stinkeye for expensive product purchases anymore, because he's spending ridiculously, too. The bad news is that you'd never peg him for a metrosexual. All that fussing, and it is spent on things that don't show at all. Hair, clothing, accessories, and even nail clipping are ignored.

I don't bring reading material, conventional or electronic, into the bathroom, myself. There's no safe place to put it when the cleanliness of my hands is compromised. I believe flushing disperses a measure of yuck into the air, also.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It is gross if you have IBS and shit splatters everywhere - and gets on your laptop bc it is on your lap

Well, of course that would be gross, but that has nothing to do with the laptop -- would be equally gross to get crap all over your book or magazine or whatever. I mean seriously, shit spray would be disgusting wherever it landed!! Plus, I don't know how it would get on your laptop if you had your legs together (i.e., to form a lap on which the laptop could rest). I'm just sayin'.

LOL -- you have mastered it havent you?! You have put some serious thought into how to handle the situation, hehe.

[Anonymous]

This is what I don't get - what does sitting there do, I mean when I need to go it either comes or it doesn't, sitting there doesn't help. So are you just sitting on a toilet of crap to read a magazine? Isn't the couch more comfortable???

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This is what I don't get - what does sitting there do, I mean when I need to go it either comes or it doesn't, sitting there doesn't help. So are you just sitting on a toilet of crap to read a magazine? Isn't the couch more comfortable???

Yes, but on the couch they can't hide from us!

[Anonymous]

Mine swears it is absolutely necessary to his delicate system. He goes in there with a newspaper or magazine and spends 20, 30 minutes 1-2 times a day. I am with the PP who said, WTF, either you have to go or you don't -- I don't get this concept of sitting there for half an hour WILLING it out of yourself...

I am 100% sure it's not drugs (ha - if you knew my husband) or masturbation (he does this plenty, but not in the bathroom) -- the door is thin enough (and over the years we've had enough random emergencies where I've had to walk in on him) that I am confident he's sitting there on the throne, flipping through the reading material the WHOLE TIME.

I have pointed out to him that since having children I have not only learned to poop in a matter of seconds, I can do it WHILE the children are staring at me and begging me for things.