Standoffish with attractive colleague

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You are doing the 100% right thing. It is like that line in the movie The Village - he doesn't touch you because he doesn't want people to know how much he wants to touch you.

I have a work colleague that I really adore - we are totally each other's type, love each other's company, and are both happily married.

We almost never spend time alone. When at happy hour, we don't sit by each other. When on travel, we only go out as part of a group. Nothing has ever happened and nothing ever will, but I think we both care about our marriages enough to be mature and not venture into dangerous territory.

This is very smart. Cheating is function of opportunity.

[Anonymous]

I'd hit it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Are you that impulsive that you don't think you can be friends with an attractive coworker? I'm super close with a guy coworker, who I crush on but leave it to only that because he's married. It's called understanding your boundaries, whether it's marriage boundaries or work boundaries. If you feel you'll cross a boundary, yes, no interaction. If it's only attraction and you can stay within the boundaries, become friends with him. As you see on this forum, even with the strongest of attractions, the person probably has a habit that will annoy you (making them not the Greek god you are creating in your head)

Not just an attractive coworker, one she is attracted to.

Totally totally different.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This is OP. The friendship was starting to ramp up--more chats, more personal talk, a couple compliments. But we don't work on projects together, don't travel for work, and I don't do happy hours for family reasons so there is virtually no danger of anything happening.

OP, there is always a danger, especially if things are iffy elsewhere in your life. It is a bad coping strategy, but it is a strategy.