My Kid is Obsessed with the Queen Bee

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Ugh why do girls have so much drama?

Please don't stereotype.

Boys have social challenges and drama, too. For example, see my PP 17:22.

Also, grown men and women also drama and conflict, too. This is not specific to girls.

In my experience this is all a normal part of navigating life with other people. Sometimes people get along easily. Sometimes people have difficulty with each other. Sometimes people are mature and self-aware and have the self-control to make good choices. Sometimes they don't. I would guess each of us fall into each of these categories depending on the situation and our mindset at the time.

So please don't fall into the trap of equating "girls" with "drama". It's unfair to young girls, and it perpetuates a negative stereotype.

I agree- my DH is an engineer and works with literally 75% men, maybe more like 100% at his level and its DR-A-MA. they love it. he goes to the HR ladies office (4 women) when he needs a minute at work without the drama!

That said, I think its a disservive to not acknowledge that adolescent girls do tend to have more of these sorts of dramatic issues and conflicts to navigate

[Anonymous]

I would stop actively telling her not to hang out with this girl. You are making the allure even greater. Now she is the queen bee and the forbidden fruit.

Take some of the other advice. Ask who the nice kids are, see if you can set up play dates with a few of them.

But in the end, the decision is up to her. Some lessons are best learned through making mistakes.

[Anonymous]

OP here. Thanks. A lot of great ideas here. I really appreciate it!

[Maplebeanz]

Anonymous wrote:Tell your kid to hang out with the nerds instead. It'll pay off in the long run.

Yes, this is great idea.

Wow! this generation still has the "queen bee"

I suggest that you appreciate more your kid. She might need some acknowledgement. Let her know that no matter what happens, you will always be proud of her.
In this way she will not seek the affection of the "queen bee". Also, she would gain more confidence in herself.

It would be great not to confront her also and have more fun activities with your kid.

[Anonymous]

Doesn't seem right to call a little girl a B.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Doesn't seem right to call a little girl a B.

Think about bugs. The Queen Bee is in charge of it all. Google it.

Not the other B.

[Anonymous]

My DD had a problem like this two years ago, she and her friend were constantly arguing because they are both bossy...uh, I mean "leaders." After her frenemy sabotaged her a couple of times they stopped being friends and then thankfully were in separate classes the following year. This year they teamed up to help the aftercare ladies and cleaned up trash from the little kid's playground. It was funny because at the end of the summer I told DD she and her "Queen Bee wannabe" could actually make an unstoppable team if they just turned their focus to something more constructive. So it's not hopeless.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Doesn't seem right to call a little girl a B.

Think about bugs. The Queen Bee is in charge of it all. Google it.

Not the other B.

Yeah right. Kids are smarter than you think.

[Anonymous]

I've read this book at DD when her BFF turned into a Queen Bee and was not treating DD very nicely. I remember watching DD run after BFF after school to walk home with her and Queen Bee would ignore her. It was so painful to watch socially awkward DD get so hurt by someone who just a few moths ago was so close to her.

https://www.amazon.com/How-Full-Your-Bucket-Kids/dp/1595620273/ref=pd_sim_14_2/153-8312421-0904239?ie=UTF8&psc=1&refRID=BH7H5B6HQ56QM542JEFT

[Anonymous]

The book Queen bees and Wannabes" might be helpful if you haven't read it. It's for parents but it inspired the movie Mean Girls.

https://www.amazon.com/Queen-Bees-Wannabes-Boyfriends-Realities/dp/0307454444

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Ugh why do girls have so much drama?

Please don't stereotype.

Boys have social challenges and drama, too. For example, see my PP 17:22.

Also, grown men and women also drama and conflict, too. This is not specific to girls.

In my experience this is all a normal part of navigating life with other people. Sometimes people get along easily. Sometimes people have difficulty with each other. Sometimes people are mature and self-aware and have the self-control to make good choices. Sometimes they don't. I would guess each of us fall into each of these categories depending on the situation and our mindset at the time.

So please don't fall into the trap of equating "girls" with "drama". It's unfair to young girls, and it perpetuates a negative stereotype.

Exactly. This. Interpersonal dynamics are complicated regardless of gender and merely differ based on the social setting. Queen Bees =Alpha Males. Betas personalities abound regardless of chromosomes.
Please stop perpetuating negative stereotypes.