s/o If a parent was calling you accusing your child of bad behavior

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think this approaching other parents over social quarrels when the kids are this age, is really tacky and trailer-park behavior.

I never approached her, not once, I also didn't approach or ask other parents about it. My DD found out from her friends as several years ago my DD was new to the school. Only after that did other parents tell me.

No sorry, I'm not criticizing you, but the mother you're describing. She sounds like a total living hell.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:"Thanks for letting me know. I'm sorry your DD is feeling hurt. I will talk to my daughter." End of conversation.

I would be equally as short but I definitely would not convey that I thought my child was in the wrong.

A number of years back I got a similar call. Come to find out when I discussed it with the school principal, my child was being bullied and the other child was a major perpetrator. I learned never to believe anything from anyone without investigating.

[Anonymous]

I once had to write an e-mail to school counselor about another parent literally harassing me and my DD. I am not at all a meddling in social issues parent, not just saying that. It came to the point that I felt the other parent was so unbalanced and might fabricate issues and be malicious. I was profusely apologetic to the counselor for taking her time with such a non issue, but felt that I had to have something in writing from our side. Counselor was actually very nice about it and said that she will keep an eye on the girls. She didn't seem surprised at all, so either she knew something about this family or this is a normal occurrence and she is used to it.

[Anonymous]

I'm in the middle of a similar issue with my 6-year-old son. The school assures me that none of the things the mother says her daughter claims happened actually happened. The only reason I know about them is that the mother contacted me directly after the school told her there was no incident like the one she (the mother, based on her daughter's report) reported.

Once we got dragged into this, I learned that the mom is a known problem/drama queen, and the daughter uses these accusations to get attention from her that usually goes to an ill older sister.

[Anonymous]

Is J the first letter of this mom's name?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:"Thanks for letting me know. I'm sorry your DD is feeling hurt. I will talk to my daughter." End of conversation.

This.

Then talk to your daughter. If you don't think it is happening, tell DD that you don't think it is happening, but Larla's mom is upset. Then tell DD that it BETTER not be happening. Then let it go.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It happened to me. I knew my child had been mean to the other child, and she even confessed after the mother left (yes, the mom showed up at my house). There were a couple of things though that led me to know the other mom is a little "off". Let me first say, what my DD did is wrong and unacceptable. We dealt with her. And it's something that happens probably every day. As in, no reason to go to someone's house and yell in their child's face, so I knew the other mom was a bit...dramatic. After a few parents mentioned this mom had approached them about their own children "slighting" her child, I considered the source, as they say. We try to avoid that mom and her child now.

+10000

This!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'm in the middle of a similar issue with my 6-year-old son. The school assures me that none of the things the mother says her daughter claims happened actually happened. The only reason I know about them is that the mother contacted me directly after the school told her there was no incident like the one she (the mother, based on her daughter's report) reported.

Once we got dragged into this, I learned that the mom is a known problem/drama queen, and the daughter uses these accusations to get attention from her that usually goes to an ill older sister.

+1

Yup. Usually a sign of something else, OP.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I once had to write an e-mail to school counselor about another parent literally harassing me and my DD. I am not at all a meddling in social issues parent, not just saying that. It came to the point that I felt the other parent was so unbalanced and might fabricate issues and be malicious. I was profusely apologetic to the counselor for taking her time with such a non issue, but felt that I had to have something in writing from our side. Counselor was actually very nice about it and said that she will keep an eye on the girls. She didn't seem surprised at all, so either she knew something about this family or this is a normal occurrence and she is used to it.

+1

I would somehow bet the counselor was well aware of the family.

OP, did you happen to notice - it is never the other child's/mom's fault, right?!

[Anonymous]

Parents can be protective and emotional when they feel their children are being hurt - that is the bottom line. If you are certain the claims against you daughter are false I would tell the other mom what you believe. She needs that information. How she takes it is not really your concern.

Great lesson to model conflict resolution for your daughter. Tell your daughter to keep an even keel and try to understand the emotion from the girl and her mother are probably fear-based. It likely will pass and be forgotten.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I once had to write an e-mail to school counselor about another parent literally harassing me and my DD. I am not at all a meddling in social issues parent, not just saying that. It came to the point that I felt the other parent was so unbalanced and might fabricate issues and be malicious. I was profusely apologetic to the counselor for taking her time with such a non issue, but felt that I had to have something in writing from our side. Counselor was actually very nice about it and said that she will keep an eye on the girls. She didn't seem surprised at all, so either she knew something about this family or this is a normal occurrence and she is used to it.

+1

I would somehow bet the counselor was well aware of the family.

OP, did you happen to notice - it is never the other child's/mom's fault, right?!

OP here. Yes, nothing was ever the child/mom's fault. Not even the tiniest detail, I tried to pacify her by saying "all kids make mistakes" and she would say "not her kid." What was also terrifying was mom telling me that she knows every single detail of her teen's day and every conversation her teen had with all the kids and they go through everything that happened. She was proud of this because "she is involved parent."

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Parents can be protective and emotional when they feel their children are being hurt - that is the bottom line. If you are certain the claims against you daughter are false I would tell the other mom what you believe. She needs that information. How she takes it is not really your concern.

Great lesson to model conflict resolution for your daughter. Tell your daughter to keep an even keel and try to understand the emotion from the girl and her mother are probably fear-based. It likely will pass and be forgotten.

Yes, majority of parents will be protective. I had the misfortune that my mom never waited to listen to my side of the story, it was long ago and times were different, but it was always punish me first, never listen and even when she would find out that I was set up or wrongly accused, she never said sorry. I make sure that I always hear my kid's side of the story before acting. When I do make a mistake with my kids, I apologize to them and accept responsibility for being wrong. I am glad to hear that many parents do the same. Once my aunt accused me of doing something to my cousin, who lost a father years ago, which is definitely sad, but my cousin was extremely manipulative and really vicious and would make up total lies, my mom barged into the house and well, you get the gist of it.

[Anonymous]

Monitor your child's online activity. Then take appropriate action, if necessary.

[Anonymous]

I would call the school and let them handle it. These are problems for the kids to sort out on their own or with the help of unbiased grown ups. Parents who get involved like this are making a huge mistake.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Monitor your child's online activity. Then take appropriate action, if necessary.

Agreed. If your children are smart enough to take screen shots of the instigating kids' offenses, all the better. But there is always, always the "not my kid parents" that most parents avoid.